# My mom made me quite my job. \*bares teeth\* **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 19, 2002, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920 "2002-10-19T01:05:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/61 "2002-10-20T02:11:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > \*\ ***Shodan** I believe she was attempting to correct you when you said > > it seems to be the OP’s point that her poor grades had to do w/the games, and she personally took care of that, the mom didn’t know about it, so therefore the consequences re: the job shouldn’t happen since A. the poor grades and the job were unrelated and B. the poor grades **were** related to the games, which she deleted w/o mom having to make the demand. > > I still say mom’s right about quitting the job is an appropriate consequence of the poor grades (regardless of the source of the problem for the poor grades), but incorrect in that the OP should be able to give notice (not fair to the other employees/ the employer plus it gives the girl a ‘hard to recover from’ bad mark for future job seeking purposes, IME) \*\* And I say she is right in getting rid of the games the OP says were the primary focus in class, instead of concentrating. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/62 "2002-10-20T02:14:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by manhattan \* > \*\*You’re seven people? \*\* That’s exactly what I thought. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/63 "2002-10-20T02:22:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\*Her job took place _outside_ of school hours. Her job is not the cause of her grades going down, > \*\* Uh, DUH!:rolleyes: I don’t know of any kids that works a job during class. Ok, so **Magic8ball** is a good kid. Great. I never said she wasn’t. I just said it was **POSSIBLE** we didn’t have all the facts. Now we do. Isn’t it possible that, instead of working she studied more or did extra credit, her grades would have improved? I can’t believe that fooling around in class is the only cause of low grades. Also, I complimented '8balls mother for being a good parent and being concerned with her kids potential future, and taking corrective measures when they were warranted. Are you saying your sister/sister in law is not a good mother? I’ll tell you, if my brothers/sister and /or their spouses took my kids side over mine when it came to discpline, there’d be war. I’m guessing you all live on an island…Fantasy Island!:p:D ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/64 "2002-10-20T02:28:48Z")
**pkbites** , obviously, **Ginger** knows a LOT more about this situation than you do. So quit being such an asshat. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/65 "2002-10-20T02:33:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\ ***pkbites** , obviously, **Ginger** knows a LOT more about this situation than you do. So quit being such an asshat. \*\* Get bent. If they don’t want me to discuss/coment on this topic, they should advise their niece not to open such threads. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/66 "2002-10-20T02:38:47Z")
I’m not her keeper. She is her own person, regardless of what you think of those under the age of 18. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/67 "2002-10-20T02:49:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\* > > **kambuckta** , I asked Dave not to talk about the back story on this. He’s refrained due to my wishes. The roll-eyes is in response to the fact that I know what is going on, and that should be enough. I’m her aunt. I know everything that happens in her life. \*\* I agree that you do not need to include the full story, that is your prerogative, but neither can you condemn others for judging the story on the basis of the OP…for that is all we have. For you to assert that you know what is going on and **‘that should be enough’** is, quite frankly, arrogant in the extreme. Perhaps I might suggest that if M8B is old enough to post on this board, she is old enough to fight her own battles. Your defence of her, whilst touching, offers no extra credence to her argument. Oh, and good luck with your absolute certainty that you know everything that happens in M8B’s life…god, I wish I had this incredible talent. D’ya reckon you could bottle it, and send some of it Downunder so I can use it for my kids? Nah, on second thoughts, I don’t really WANT to know what they are getting up to most of the time…😃 ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/68 "2002-10-20T02:52:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\*I’m not her keeper. She is her own person, regardless of what you think of those under the age of 18. \*\* I think highly of those under 18. That does not, however, make them my equal. Nor yours. We are adults. children are not our equals. It is in fact the role of parents to be keepers. True, as kids grow older the restraints must me loosened, little by little until they are set free. But while they are minors, it is the parents role to be overseers and take corrective measures. Geez. What if, after a semester of no job her grades go through the roof. Are you going to admit that maybe it was for the best? ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/69 "2002-10-20T02:55:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Isn’t it possible that, instead of working she studied more or did extra credit, her grades would have improved? I can’t believe that fooling around in class is the only cause of low grades. Its possible, but if you are fooling around in class why would you start doing work outside of class? Her mother was concerned, but she was not taking corrective measures when they were warranted. She can not make her kid do well in school if her kid doesen’t want to and especially not if her kid does want to. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/70 "2002-10-20T02:58:43Z")
> [@](#): > > I think highly of those under 18. That does not, however, make them my equal. Nor yours. We are adults. children are not our equals. Bullshit. I know of many young people who I consider my equal, or sometimes, superior to me in maturity, experience and intellect. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/71 "2002-10-20T03:01:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > \*\*I think highly of those under 18. That does not, however, make them my equal. Nor yours. We are adults. children are not our equals. \*\* Way to fight ignorance! 'at’a boy (Or what ever the hell you are…) :rolleyes: You started off making a good (but ill put) point, but rolled down hill from there… Hope you’re kids still talk to you when they are older. (Yes…sure they will.) ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/72 "2002-10-20T03:10:44Z")
And I am somehow rendered yet more flabbergasted at what’s being typed by his fingers. Not your equals? I just CANNOT understand where you get this. Oh, and by the way? Stop projecting YOUR daughter’s problems on **magic8ball** , and YOUR feelings as a parent on her parents. It’s obvious you’re not talking about the situation at hand, but your own problems. It’s not helping anyone. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/73 "2002-10-20T03:12:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by \*\*pkbites \*\*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally posted by White Lightning > > How it must gall you to know that in the eyes of the US government, your observation is worth exactly as much as one of theirs. > > Not true. I can vote. (I assume 8ball is under 18). Right. My point being, of course, that 18- and 19- year olds (_teenagers_) can vote, and they get one vote, same as you. I imagine that would gall you, feeling as you do that their opinions are invalid, them being children. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/74 "2002-10-20T03:16:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > > Bullshit. I know of many young people who I consider my equal, or sometimes, superior to me in maturity, experience and intellect. \*\* Boy, you’re some adult then.:rolleyes: And, at what age are children your equal? 2 years old? 5? 10?15? There has to be a cut off. It’s 18 in most places. When my kids were minors, they were not my equals. They did not decide whether or not they would go to school in the morning, how late they would stay outside, if they would use drugs/alcohol, how late they would stay up, etc. I was the parent. These decisions were mine, and only mine (and my wife) to make. Had we been equals, they would have had a say in these things. Kids, even teenagers, want and need boundries. Someone has to have “veto” power. That is the parent. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/75 "2002-10-20T03:16:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > Isn’t it possible that, instead of working she studied more or did extra credit, her grades would have improved? I can’t believe that fooling around in class is the only cause of low grades. Well, from talking to her less than an hour ago, she says she would have done better but she spent lots of time in class playing tetris on her calculator. And she gave every indication that she wouldn’t be doing that again. > [@](#): > > Also, I complimented '8balls mother for being a good parent and being concerned with her kids potential future, and taking corrective measures when they were warranted. M8B was playing games on her calculator, which action(s) resulted in low grades. So that warrants making her quit her job? Hell, ground her, erase the memory of the thing (except for school-related programs), take away phone access or something, but it seems kinda not intelligent to take away a harmless source of income. I mean, she isn’t suffering from lack of sleep due to excessive overtime. She doesn’t have burns, she isn’t being harassed at work, and she doesn’t play hookey to go to work instead of school. It seems rather … arbitrary to me, at least, that M8B’s mother chose to take away her job (which, btw, probably saved M8B’s mother some cash). > [@](#): > > Are you saying your sister/sister in law is not a good mother? It takes a village. Maybe **Gingy** was a lot of that village. > [@](#): > > I’ll tell you, if my brothers/sister and /or their spouses took my kids side over mine when it came to discpline, there’d be war. So you’d go to war rather than admit that you might not be a good parent? Wonder where else you’d rather go to extremes than admit you’re wrong… Just wondering, of course. Sarcasm, as evidenced by my previous post, does not exist. > [@](#): > > I’m guessing you all live on an island…Fantasy Island! Actually, M8B does live on an island, IIRC. Funny how that works out… [upon preview] > [@](#): > > children are not our equals. :rolleyes: Aren’t generalizations _FUN_? > [@](#): > > But while they are minors, it is the parents role to be overseers and take corrective measures. **Appropriate** corrective measures. Bad parenting doesn’t help much of anyone/thing. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/76 "2002-10-20T03:18:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\ ***pkbites** , obviously, **Ginger** knows a LOT more about this situation than you do. So quit being such an asshat. \*\* Ditto to what **pkbites** said **Guin**. So what if Ginger knows a lot more?..as I said previously, we only have the OP to go on, and perhaps Ginger should butt out of her niece’s issues. And as regards kids being ‘equal’ to adults…sure, there are kids who are bright, and who _seem_ to show an understanding of the world. But they are fucking KIDS who do NOT have the experience of years that adults do. For all of you who are disparaging PK’s stance, just hang around a few adolescents for a few hours. I don’t give a shit whether the kids are eligible for Mensa membership or whatever, they do NOT have the same understanding and maturity that an adult does. That is why we remain their guardians and mentors for 18 years (or more). I generally admire kids very much (with a few notable exceptions) but there is no way they are my equal. But I hope I use my ‘superiority’ to help them on their journey, perhaps helping them avoid some of the ditches I fell into on my travels. And may I be so presumptious to suggest that **pkbites** was only saying much the same? Get off your fucking high horses folks. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/77 "2002-10-20T03:19:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Lightning \* > \*\*Not true. I can vote. (I assume 8ball is under 18). Right. My point being, of course, that 18- and 19- year olds (_teenagers_) can vote, and they get one vote, same as you. I imagine that would gall you, feeling as you do that their opinions are invalid, them being children. \*\* [/QUOTE] 18 and 19 year olds are not children. They are adults. What the hell are you talking about? I was talking about children, i.e., people under 18. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/78 "2002-10-20T03:20:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > Boy, you’re some adult then.:rolleyes: PK, dude, don’t be messin’ with our **Guin**. She’s **forgotten** more than you’ll ever learn. And she remembers, as GDers would be happy to tell you, a fucking lot. > [@](#): > > And, at what age are children your equal? 2 years old? 5? 10?15? When they can hold their own with you. For me, that (with my parents) was around 18-20. For other people it would be younger, and for some it will never be the case. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/79 "2002-10-20T03:22:06Z")
Go ahead and ask her, **kambuckta**. She tells me everything, and she’ll tell you that. I choose not to go into detail partly because there are people from our hometown who know of this place and **will** put the facts together. I further prefer that my sister does not find the SDMB and take that away from my niece as well. I’m sorry that you find me arrogant, I certainly don’t intend to come across in that manner. What do I say that indicates an arrogant mindset? I also don’t feel that I should ‘butt out’ of my niece’s life. Would you abandon someone that you practically raised for the first five years of their life? **pkbites** , your arguments are about as strong as restaurant tea. I’m done trying to convince you that you are not correct in this situation. Have fun arguing with yourself. The issues you have in your life have nothing to do with those in my family’s. She did not go to an expensive private school and waste her parents’ money learning a pissy attitude from other rich kids. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/80 "2002-10-20T03:30:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kambuckta \* > Ditto to what **pkbites** said **Guin**. So what if Ginger knows a lot more? Did I actually … just … read that? ::blinks:: Well, there’s one in every crowd, I guess. > [@](#): > > …as I said previously, we only have the OP to go on, and perhaps Ginger should butt out of her niece’s issues. Well, fortunately for M8B, Gingy, and any number of people who’ve benefited from M8B’s existence, that isn’t the case. Would you care to offer up some reason it would be wise for Gingy to (partially) alienate herself from her niece (almost daughter, really)'s life? > [@](#): > > I don’t give a shit whether the kids are eligible for Mensa membership or whatever, they do NOT have the same understanding and maturity that an adult does. ::cue **Le Sang** ’s sig line:: > [@](#): > > And may I be so presumptious to suggest that **pkbites** was only saying much the same? Well, you just did, and he was being an ass, so … > [@](#): > > Get off your fucking high horses folks. You may be looking up at us, but it isn’t because we’re on horses. That stick you have up your ass has come out your mouth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920.md?page=5)