# My mom made me quite my job. \*bares teeth\* **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 19, 2002, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920 "2002-10-19T01:05:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/81 "2002-10-20T03:37:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > \*\* > They did not decide whether or not they would go to school in the morning, how late they would stay outside, if they would use drugs/alcohol, how late they would stay up, etc. I was the parent. _These decisions were mine, and only mine_ (and my wife) to make. > \*\* Italics mine. I can’t decide if it’s cute or just sad. Did you and your wife together watch your kids 24/7/365 or did you take guard duty in shifts? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/82 "2002-10-20T03:42:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\*Go ahead and ask her, **kambuckta**. She tells me everything, and she’ll tell you that. > > I choose not to go into detail partly because there are people from our hometown who know of this place and **will** put the facts together. I further prefer that my sister does not find the SDMB and take that away from my niece as well. I’m sorry that you find me arrogant, I certainly don’t intend to come across in that manner. What do I say that indicates an arrogant mindset? I also don’t feel that I should ‘butt out’ of my niece’s life. Would you abandon someone that you practically raised for the first five years of their life? > \*\* **Ginger** , I am NOT criticising your decision not to post personal details…I think that is very wise under the circumstances. However, you cannot then just come in here in defence of M8B and say that because you know her, any challenge to her OP is unwarranted! THAT is what I found arrogant, that because you are a longer-standing member of this board, we are meant to take your ‘word’ that M8B is justified, WITHOUT CHALLENGE, to rant about her punishment. Nor did I say that you should butt out of your niece’s life…I thought I made it very clear that you perhaps should not run to her defence ON THIS BOARD. By all means, support and nurture M8B in real life as much as you both need, but when it spills over onto this board, it becomes public property. Look, from previous threads and posts it is blatantly obvious that you have serious issues with your sister that have affected the relationship with your niece. I do not think it is at all wise to bring these here. M8B’s OP could have stood all on it’s own without your involvement…in fact, your jumping in has created more of a controversy than was necessary. Using your niece as a vicarious platform to condemn your sister (however obliquely) is doing you both a disservice, IMHO of course!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/83 "2002-10-20T03:45:08Z")
Um, PK, you know, you might want to take a class in word order and use… You chose whether or not your kids would do drugs or use alcohol? Hate to break it to you, but unless as Fion said you were around your kids 24/7/365, you can’t control everything they do. And you also can’t control when they go to sleep. And they can skip school, sneak out, etc… The _intent_ behind your post is fairly clear. But the wording is less than clear. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/84 "2002-10-20T03:56:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Using your niece as a vicarious platform to condemn your sister (however obliquely) is doing you both a disservice, IMHO of course!! I haven’t seen **Ginger** doing this. :rolleyes: Thanks, ' **punha** , but I think **pkbites** is merely jealous that so many of our younger posters are vastly superior, at least as far as I can see. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/85 "2002-10-20T03:56:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*\*Originally posted by pkbites \*\*\* > They did not decide whether or not they would go to school in the morning, how late they would stay outside, **if they would use drugs/alcohol,** how late they would stay up, etc. I was the parent. These decisions were mine, and only mine (and my wife) to make. [Bolding mine] Ohh! Hahahahah! 😃_sigh_ [wipes eyes] That’s rich!!! Tell me, do you let out kids out of the basement from time to time, too? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/86 "2002-10-20T04:34:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > \*\*I doubt it. _I’ve observed that when teenagers make money they tend to save very little of it.Spending much of it on their teenage lifestyle. Nothing entirely wrong with that, but it does trump your arguement about justifying teenage jobs over school work._ Wrong again. The assumptions you make from your own parenting experiences leaves much to the imagination. My parents required that I deposited at least 50% of my paycheck into my savings account, and it was my own choice to deposit an additional 25% every paycheck. Like I said before, I maintained a 3.73 average during the time that I held a part time job. And just because $200 is chump change to you, doesn’t mean that it is so for a single mother, a homeless person, or any average American teenager for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/87 "2002-10-20T04:51:51Z")
Ginger… with all due respect it might be best for all concerned if your niece does not post her personal family issues here anymore. With you and Dave and your niece all involved in this complicated scenario anyone contending with her has to take on you and Dave and the looming _backstory that will not be gotten into_ as well, which is sort of awkward, especially if you don’t want this to get back to her mother via someone lurking here who is familiar with her family. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/88 "2002-10-20T05:17:35Z")
PK, I love the assumption that because you’re the adult, you’re never wrong. All hail PK, the perfect parent. Nevermind the fact that by his own admittance he has at least one kid who: > [@](#): > > I had caught her with dope (twice) found out she was drinking, and she was continually having a bad attitude at home, screaming “Fuck You” to my wife every 5 seconds. And you have the arrogance to post about a kid who does none of those things, pulling assumptions out of your ass by the gross ton, ignoring the first person testomony of people who are involved with the people in question, all the while reeking of sanctimony?? I don’t even know you and I feel sorry for your kids. I bet your siblings, if they have the common sense God gave mold, would agree, but never say anything to you because, heaven forbid anyone suggest PK isn’t perfect, “There’d be a war”. You, sir, are prime grade asshole on the hoof, and my most fervent desire is that your kids get out, and never come back, leaving you to die bitter and alone in a steaming pile of your own feces, all the while clueless as to why parenthood by dictatorship didn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/89 "2002-10-20T05:30:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > \*\*PK, I love the assumption that because you’re the adult, you’re never wrong. All hail PK, the perfect parent. Nevermind the fact that by his own admittance he has at least one kid who: > And you have the arrogance to post about a kid who does none of those things, pulling assumptions out of your ass by the gross ton, ignoring the first person testomony of people who are involved with the people in question, all the while reeking of sanctimony?? I don’t even know you and I feel sorry for your kids. I bet your siblings, if they have the common sense God gave mold, would agree, but never say anything to you because, heaven forbid anyone suggest PK isn’t perfect, “There’d be a war”. You, sir, are prime grade asshole on the hoof, and my most fervent desire is that your kids get out, and never come back, leaving you to die bitter and alone in a steaming pile of your own feces, all the while clueless as to why parenthood by dictatorship didn’t work. \*\* Oh fer fuck’s sake **Weirddave** , nobody yet has been a real arsehole in this thread. PK was only questioning whether there were other incidents involved, NOT proclaiming that they were. Take **Astro’s** advice will ya? Keep your personal stuff out of this thread…or at least let M8B rant without her rellies stuffing things up for her! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/90 "2002-10-20T05:51:55Z")
“let M8B rant without her rellies stuffing things up for her!” Yeah. I mean, God forbid someone have some fucking support. Fer real… ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/91 "2002-10-20T06:08:09Z")
Support? What support **iampunha**? Like, this is the SDMB…should I demand a ‘cite’ from Ginger and Dave? Nothing has been offered in ‘support’ of M8B apart from, "Hey, I’m her auntie, and she’s a good kid’. Huh? Sorry, not good enough. In reiteration, I recommend you keep out of Magic’s gripes Ginger, unless you have something legitimate to back her with. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/92 "2002-10-20T06:20:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kambuckta \* > \*\*PK was only questioning whether there were other incidents involved, NOT proclaiming that they were. > \*\* That’s exactly what I was doing, and I included a personal story to explain that I know how, when folks only hear the kids version, they may not know the entire story & circumstances. I said several times that we may actually be getting the entire story. I also stated a couple times that I’d like to see **magic8ball** be successful and prosper. Why do some of you act like I’m trying to keep this kid down just because I agree with her parent on this one? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ladyfoxfyre \* > \*\*My parents required that I deposited at least 50% of my paycheck into my savings account, and it was my own choice to deposit an additional 25% every paycheck. Like I said before, I maintained a 3.73 average during the time that I held a part time job. \*\* They **required** you to deposit 50%? **Required?** Do you mean to actually say your parents were in charge and set the rules? Better keep that under your hat while in here. Least some of these people attack your parents for being smothering, over controling Nazi’s. ---
**Author:** ![Avumede](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/avumede/32/7235_2.png) [@Avumede](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avumede)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/93 "2002-10-20T06:31:10Z")
Well pkbites is technically correct, I think. Teenagers are fully mature adults yet. The prefrontal cortex (responsible for much higher-order brain processing) continues to develop throughout the teenage years, as does the corpus collosum. I don’t know what defines an adult, but a brain that has gone through all necessary development seems reasonable. ---
**Author:** ![Avumede](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/avumede/32/7235_2.png) [@Avumede](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avumede)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/94 "2002-10-20T06:32:16Z")
Not fully mature adults yet, that is. Althought they probably know better than I that proofreading is important. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/95 "2002-10-20T06:41:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kambuckta \* > \*\*Support? What support **iampunha**? Like, this is the SDMB…should I demand a ‘cite’ from Ginger and Dave? Nothing has been offered in ‘support’ of M8B apart from, "Hey, I’m her auntie, and she’s a good kid’. Huh? Well, what would you like in the way of proof? You have the word of three fairly social dopers. Hell, just between Dave and myself we’ve probably met 50% of active dopers, if not more. > [@](#): > > Sorry, not good enough. In reiteration, I recommend you keep out of Magic’s gripes Ginger, unless you have something legitimate to back her with. How about the knowledge of M8B’s background, family, where she’s living, what she’s got to deal with, and a general overall sense of M8B’s entire life? Would that be sufficient to pass the kambuckta test of who is allowed to back M8B? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/96 "2002-10-20T06:46:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > **my most fervent desire is that your kids get out, and never come back** Well, the 2 oldest did get out. They’re adults now. When they come over Sunday night for dinner I’ll ask them about how miserable they were and are still, because of my ogre-like parenting. I think they’ll get a kick out out of some of the things that are posted about me. Hopefully I can get them to register and post so they can tell you a thing or two, but…they are adults now, and seeing that, now they are adults and therefore my equal, I cannot force them to do anything they choose not to. Their days of being children are over, as is my control over them. When they were children, however, it was my wife and mine responsibility to be in charge and set the rules, and inforce them. We couldn’t have been too bad. They come by here all the time. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/97 "2002-10-20T06:51:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > \*\*and inforce them. > \*\* Uh, **e** nforce them. Hopefully they grew up to know how to spell better than their old man.😛 ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/98 "2002-10-20T06:58:19Z")
Did the job contribute to the falling grades, or was it just the games? We don’t know. Does mom know the whole story about the games and the falling grades? We don’t know. Do we know what the whole situation is at home with M8B and mom? We do not know. Ginger, while your defense is valiant, you are committing a fallacy in logical terms by having “secret evidence” that cannot be shared but is supposed to hold weight. Show your whole hand or don’t hint at what you’re holding. punha, I love ya, but attacking people’s usernames is bad form. pkbites, you started with a good argument, that parents have control over their children and generally act in the best interests of their children, but it kinda shitstormed after that if you know what I mean. Maybe it’s time to clarify your position. In the eyes of the law, a person who is under 18 is considered a minor. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think they are also considered the “chattel” of their guardian. I second what astro said about keeping very personal things off of the messageboard if you know that it might be damaging if read by someone who shouldn’t read it. That should go for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/99 "2002-10-20T07:13:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magic8ball \* > \*\*lol. I also had solitaire, battletanks, 2 shooting games, and hangman. \*\* Bah, I have missle command, doom, chess, solitaire, and minesweeper on my casio e-105. Makes the old weekend security job pass so much quicker. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2002, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920/100 "2002-10-20T07:15:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > now they are adults and therefore my equal Define “adult”. > [@](#): > > Red Dragon said: > > Did the job contribute to the falling grades, or was it just the games? We don’t know. I could have _sworn_ I posted that a conversation with M8B revealed that it was the games that got her grades down, not the job. And as for this…“punha, I love ya, but attacking people’s usernames is bad form.” Dude. Joke. Dig?🙂 I’m actually starting to wonder if you read the whole thread before posting this, or just skimmed: “Ginger, while your defense is valiant, you are committing a fallacy in logical terms by having “secret evidence” that cannot be shared but is supposed to hold weight. Show your whole hand or don’t hint at what you’re holding.” Go back and read Ginger’s posts here and in M8B’s other Pit threads. Hell, read mine and Dave’s as well. Think about why it would not behoove any of us to go into great depth about the underworkings of the overall situation (especially since, from what I can tell from talking to Gingy and M8B off the boards, said underworkings have little, if anything, to do with this particular event). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-made-me-quite-my-job-bares-teeth/132920.md?page=6)