# My mom was killed in a fire last night. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2011, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881 "2011-04-27T12:25:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Win\_Place\_Show](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/win_place_show/32/13469_2.png) [@Win\_Place\_Show](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Win_Place_Show)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/341 "2011-04-29T01:02:59Z")
You don’t know me from Adam, but in my short time around here, I have come across several of your posts, and have always thought “that sounds like a pretty cool dude”. So incredibly sorry for your loss - I couldn’t imagine getting that phone call. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/342 "2011-04-29T01:15:21Z")
**Dio** , I’m really sorry this has happened to you. My heart goes out to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/343 "2011-04-29T01:21:06Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > …but I’m finding myself being impatient with the kids… When my mother died, my girls were still fairly young and I found it very difficult at times to be their mother when all I really wanted and needed to be was a daughter. I needed to grieve as a child and not be the strong parent that kids expect. It was hard to hold that in and do what I’d always done to try to lessen the impact on them. And as much as my kids loved their grandmother dearly, their loss was not at the same level as mine for the obvious reasons. There were irrational times when I think I almost resented that. THEY had their mother, I didn’t any more. Of course, I never let any of that out, but I"m sure that I was shorter with them than I normally was and it was far more difficult to be a parent during those first few days. Thankfully that passed quickly enough where, though I was still devastated in many ways, I simply held them closer to me, so grateful to have them to hug and kiss. I hope you find your time to just be a grieving son. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/344 "2011-04-29T01:23:39Z")
Sorry to hear about your loss **Dio** and the way it happened. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/345 "2011-04-29T01:31:44Z")
I’m sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/346 "2011-04-29T01:35:00Z")
Your mom sounds amazing, **Dio**. Take support from us so that you can support yourself and your family. I’m sure there are organizations near you that can offer in-person support for you in person as well. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/347 "2011-04-29T01:39:48Z")
I’m so sorry, **Dio**. You’re in my thoughts and I’m hoping you keep up the strength to deal with this. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/348 "2011-04-29T01:47:00Z")
Just came across this thread. I can do no more than join in the sentiment expressed by so many before and express my condolences and solidarity in such a trying time. ---
**Author:** ![slightly\_askew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@slightly\_askew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slightly_askew)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/349 "2011-04-29T01:50:55Z")
So sorry for you loss. She sounds like an amazing woman. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/350 "2011-04-29T01:54:01Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’d been holding onto the miniscule possibility that, by some freakish set of circumstances, it was somebody else or (is this unusual?) wondering if they made a mistake about her being dead, but I knew those thoughts were irrational. It’s completely normal. When my brother fell 1,000 feet down a sheer cliff face, and I got the call that he’d been killed in the fall, I actually asked (repeatedly) if they were _sure_, and wasn’t there something they could do to revive him. I was convinced that they just needed to keep trying (whatever, who knows) and they could fix this. Your emotions are going to be all over the map. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/351 "2011-04-29T02:08:06Z")
my condolences for your loss of your mother. Losing someone so young is hard. Take care of yourself and take care of your family. Your friends are here to listen when you need us. ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/352 "2011-04-29T02:13:00Z")
I’m very sorry for your loss, for you and your brother and your families. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/353 "2011-04-29T02:18:35Z")
My condolences to you. It’s terrible to lose someone close that way. If you need any help, I’m in the Twin Cities too. I can look after stuff for you. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/354 "2011-04-29T03:05:16Z")
I wish there was something we could do for you. This is such a tragedy. I can’t even begin to know what you’re going through right now. I’m not a religious person, but if you have one, may your God be with you and your family during this horrible time. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/355 "2011-04-29T03:16:42Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > …They say the smoke got her first and she probably never woke up. Do they always tell the families that? The news story said she was found in her bed, so it is almost certainly true. If she woke up and was trapped by the fire, she would at least have gotten out of the bed. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/356 "2011-04-29T03:37:30Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. You and yours have my sympathy. ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/357 "2011-04-29T03:41:21Z")
Dio, that’s horribly sad. I’m very sorry for this tragedy. My best to you and your whole family. Be good to yourself, and each other. She sounds like she was an amazing woman; that’s the best thing to remember. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/358 "2011-04-29T03:44:12Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Finally got a call from the Grand Forks PD. The Medical Examiner said she died of smoke inhalation. They still need a dentist to do a positive ID. Visual ID won’t be possible. ☹ > > They say the smoke got her first and she probably never woke up. Do they always tell the families that? Medical examiners have an obligation to tell the truth no matter how painfull. Your mother didn’t suffer **Dio**. My sincerest condolences. ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/359 "2011-04-29T03:45:05Z")
Just read the updated article. I’m sorry again. She accomplished so much. You have a ton to be proud of and it’s nice to know she will be remembered for it by you and so many other people. Please let us know when your grief begins to wane. I am looking forward to the day when it won’t be tacky to mock you and your brothers for being a ‘K’ trio. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881/360 "2011-04-29T03:46:18Z")
Very sorry to hear this, DtC [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mom-was-killed-in-a-fire-last-night/579881.md?page=19)