# My Mother Died **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 29, 2024, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940 "2024-11-29T18:26:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![EnolaStraight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@EnolaStraight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnolaStraight)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/1 "2024-11-29T18:26:16Z")
Complications of breast cancer which metastasized to her lungs, along with pneumonia and blood clots. She was _fine_ in September. In and out of area hospitals, draining fluid from the pleura, transfusions, antibiotics. An oxygen concentrator set at 2 liters of oxygen, then 4, then 6. Discharged a few days ago to go on hospice care, with me taking leave from work to take care of her at home. She died overnight…not in some strange hospital room hooked up to wires and tubes, nor warehoused in some nursing home. She died in her own home, in her own room, in her own bed. I’m still waiting to break down and cry. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/2 "2024-11-29T18:29:15Z")
Hugs. You have our sympathies. Grieve however you will.🫂 ---
**Author:** ![zimaane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a3d4f5/32.png) [@zimaane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zimaane)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/3 "2024-11-29T18:31:05Z")
My condolences for your loss ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/4 "2024-11-29T18:33:42Z")
I’m sorry to hear this. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/5 "2024-11-29T18:35:54Z")
I’m very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/6 "2024-11-29T18:39:17Z")
I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m glad that she was able to die in her own bed, and not hooked up to too much stuff. Don’t worry about not crying yet. Everyone grieves differently; grieve however you have to. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/7 "2024-11-29T18:44:15Z")
Thinking of you. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/8 "2024-11-29T18:47:47Z")
I’m very sorry to hear this. I hope that it will help you eventually to know how grateful your mother must have been for your care. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/9 "2024-11-29T18:52:06Z")
So sorry for your loss. Yes, everyone grieves in their own way. ---
**Author:** ![veryfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/87869e/32.png) [@veryfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/veryfrank)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/10 "2024-11-29T19:04:39Z")
My condolences to you and your family. Small mercy but mercy nonetheless that she was at home in her own bed. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/11 "2024-11-29T19:06:57Z")
My condolences on one of the crappier events in anyone’s life. You’ve done well for her. Which will be small comfort when the real grief hits. Which it will. But will be something you can carry with you later when grief has abated and wistful sadness is all that remains. Big {{hugs}}. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/12 "2024-11-29T19:12:57Z")
It’s not much consolation, but a relatively short sickness can be a blessing. I’m so sorry for your loss, I still think of my Father (positively) and that was 18 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Disinfectus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/disinfectus/32/11085_2.png) [@Disinfectus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disinfectus)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/13 "2024-11-29T19:13:12Z")
Condolences to you. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/14 "2024-11-29T19:13:41Z")
RIP. Here for you if you need us. ---
**Author:** ![teelabrown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teelabrown/32/8412_2.png) [@teelabrown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teelabrown)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/15 "2024-11-29T19:22:32Z")
I’m very sorry, **EnolaStraight**. It took me one and a half years to cry when my mom died. I was too stunned and shocked to cry before, but it hit me all at once out of nowhere and I sobbed uncontrollably for a long time. Grief is weird. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/16 "2024-11-29T19:24:41Z")
I’m very sorry, and so glad she was able to die in familiar and comfortable surroundings. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/17 "2024-11-29T19:43:58Z")
My deepest condolences. As somebody who is looking his own mortality right in the eye, I am acutely aware that being at home can be so, so meaningful. I hope it eases the sting – even a tiny bit – for those who she left behind. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/18 "2024-11-29T20:09:08Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you made her final days more comfortable than could have been possible in a hospital, and I’m certain it made a difference to her. Go well. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/19 "2024-11-29T20:26:19Z")
I’m sorry to learn this sad news Enola. May she RIP. May your memories bring you happiness in time. I will have you in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/20 "2024-11-29T20:45:40Z")
Hugs to you. Losing a parent is always difficult, sudden or not. So glad she was at home and not in an impersonal setting. When it hits you, allow yourself to grieve, then remember all the best of times. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940.md?page=2)