# My Mother Died **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 29, 2024, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940 "2024-11-29T18:26:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/21 "2024-11-29T20:55:42Z")
Very sorry to hear this. My condolences. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/22 "2024-11-29T21:21:05Z")
I am very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/23 "2024-11-29T21:27:28Z")
> [@EnolaStraight](#): > > I’m still waiting to break down and cry. It’s all right if you don’t cry. I lost both my parents to cancer relatively recently, my mother slowly, and my father quick, and I haven’t cried yet. Mostly, I felt lost and confused. I still do. Don’t feel bad if you don’t grieve the way you think you’re supposed to. I’m sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/24 "2024-11-29T21:32:51Z")
I’m sorry. May her memory be eternal. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/25 "2024-11-29T21:39:44Z")
I don’t know your mother’s name but if I pray I expect God will know who I mean. We are hear to listen and vent to. Tell us what you need. > [@EnolaStraight](#): > > She died in her own home, in her own room, in her own bed. This is how I’d want it for myself, with my dog and my cat there too. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/26 "2024-11-29T21:47:55Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Don’t feel bad if you don’t grieve the way you think you’re supposed to. This is so much wisdom in just one sentence. Trust yourself to do the right thing for yourself and the right thing by her. It _will_ unfold as it should for you and that is the only “should” there is here. Everyone else’s “should”, even your own expectations, are just not part of the program. ---
**Author:** ![EnolaStraight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@EnolaStraight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnolaStraight)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/27 "2024-11-29T23:08:48Z")
I asked the funeral director “What’s wrong with me? Am I some kind of sociopath not to be feeling anything?” He reassured me what I just did with the question is _introspection_…and if it bothers me enough to ask, _I’m not one._ ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/28 "2024-11-29T23:13:19Z")
Lots of hugs to you and yours. My father died semi-unexpectedly (he was 90 years old) in October 2023, and it’s never easy. Isn’t hospice just the best? That is where Dad also met his end. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2024, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/29 "2024-11-29T23:18:37Z")
> [@EnolaStraight](#): > > I asked the funeral director “What’s wrong with me? Am I some kind of sociopath not to be feeling anything?” You felt enough to post here. Grief is weird. And everyone grieves differently. Be kind to yourself. It’s hard to lose your mother. Your relationship with your mother is the first human relationship anyone has. May her memory be a blessing to you. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/30 "2024-11-30T00:05:58Z")
Your reaction is better than mine when my father was killed. An inattentive driver ran into him while Dad was on his motorcycle. What I felt was _anger_. I cried a little at his funeral but actually felt good at the crowd. The church was packed, they even had to seat people in the choir loft. I got satisfaction from writing an **ugly** letter to a law firm that tried to solicit business by sending my mother a book on “How to Win a Lawsuit With Dignity.” My sisters, cousins and I actually got chuckles out of imagining what to do with the book itself. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/31 "2024-11-30T00:37:37Z")
Very sorry to read this. My condolences. Please remember to take care of yourself. There is no right way down this path. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/32 "2024-11-30T00:48:31Z")
I’m sorry for your loss and holding good thoughts for you. ---
**Author:** ![bobsmom101](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobsmom101/32/2867_2.png) [@bobsmom101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobsmom101)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/33 "2024-11-30T00:48:32Z")
You are still in shock. Take comfort that your mom’s suffering is over, and that you were there for her at the end.💞 ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/34 "2024-11-30T01:37:31Z")
My sincere condolences. I’ve lost a parent slowly, and one fast. It doesn’t matter, it’s hard either way. Grief isn’t something you do, it’s something you experience as it comes. StG ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/35 "2024-11-30T02:00:57Z")
I am so sorry. That’s never easy. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/36 "2024-11-30T02:18:04Z")
It’s awful to hear this. I am so very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![cieskokid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cieskokid/32/5374_2.png) [@cieskokid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cieskokid)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/37 "2024-11-30T02:32:40Z")
I’m sorry you are going thru this & the confusion that is inside you but remember, as been said, you’re still in shock & your mind & emotions aren’t ready yet. Maybe try to find someone to listen & talk with for now. When you’re ready, the grief will come, don’t try to force it into being because you think you’re “supposed” to…I lost my Dad 2years ago-cancer diagnosis, chemo, and radiation, but no help & we lost him in 4months. I was just numb at first too but the tears & etc came when I was ready to let that wave wash over me. You’ll get there when you’re ready & we Straight\*Dopers are here for ya ☮ 💚 ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/38 "2024-11-30T02:41:49Z")
We all grieve differently. We grieve differently for different people. When my dad passed, I was inconsolable. I cried and went to quite a dark place. When my mom died, I never shed a tear until after her funeral, and it was brought on by a quote one of my sisters had placed on a remembrance for her. I loved them both dearly. I can also tell you, I grieved for my dogs probably more than I’ve ever grieved over losing any people in my life. Does that make me strange, insensitive, an outcast? I have no idea, I only know how I was experiencing each of those losses at each of those times. I am sending hugs your way. You are going through a lot, don’t give yourself a hard time about it. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/39 "2024-11-30T02:44:24Z")
“My mother was my first country, the first place I ever lived.” Nayyirah Waheed My very deepest sympathies on your most profound loss. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940/40 "2024-11-30T03:56:42Z")
That is so lovely. Is the name an author? What else might they have written? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/1010940.md?page=3)