# My mother died. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 12, 2005, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710 "2005-02-12T04:29:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/21 "2005-02-12T06:21:33Z")
I’m so sorry to hear of this, **Johnny L.A.** My thoughts are with you, and I hope the support you get from this board strengthens you as much as what I got from it when I lost my dad in 2003. Peace be with you. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/22 "2005-02-12T06:35:39Z")
**Johnny** , I am so very sorry for your loss. You’ve got my email if you need a shoulder. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/23 "2005-02-12T06:50:49Z")
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Keep yourself focussed on the good memories of your mum. That’s basically all I can advise (my mum passed away in '97.) ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/24 "2005-02-12T06:52:51Z")
Shit Johnny, sorry to hear it. We’re here if you need us. My best thoughts are with you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/25 "2005-02-12T08:00:40Z")
**{{{Johnny}}}** You know we’re here for you, whatever you need. Your mother was a kind and generous woman and we will always fondly remember her, and how welcome and like family she made Thomas and I feel when she included us with your family for Thanksgiving a couple of years ago. May she rest in peace and always stay in your heart. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/26 "2005-02-12T08:37:54Z")
Oh man, I’m sorry about your loss. I never know what to say in situations like this, but I’m trying to send good vibes your way. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/27 "2005-02-12T09:00:36Z")
\*\* {{{{{{{Johnny L.A.}}}}}}} \*\* ☹ I am so sorry for your loss. I understand being thankful that your Mom is no longer suffering and at the same time being sad that she is gone. I wish I could say things will get back to normal soon but I can’t because normal has changed for you now. It changes for all of us as we lose our parents. I will tell you what people have been telling me for 4 months now, you will be ok one day. No I don’t know when I am still looking for that day for myself. If you need a shoulder my email is public. There is a site that has helped me, they have a lot of support groups and boards it’s at [http://www.cancercare.org/](http://www.cancercare.org/) all types of people going through this now post on the GRIEF AND LOSS OPEN FORUM. Cancer sucks ! ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/28 "2005-02-12T09:36:05Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > She’s not going to get the Valentine’s card I sent her. I hate to say something banal at this time, but: It’s the thought that counts. You loved your mom–that is very clear–and you did what you could for her. You’ll grieve, of course, but don’t feel guilty, or that you could have done any more to ease her suffering. For what (little) it’s worth, she went much more easily than many, and from what I’ve read of your posts on the subject, you did far more than many people would or could. Be proud that you had such a such a close relationship with your mother. And good luck to you. I know things haven’t gone so great for you over the past few months, but hang in there. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/29 "2005-02-12T12:00:47Z")
**Johnny** , I lost my mom to a long struggle with cancer 16 years ago. I know about the sadness, and also the relief. I wish you strength and peace. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/30 "2005-02-12T12:42:10Z")
I’m so sorry, **Johnny**. I wish you peace and strength. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/31 "2005-02-12T12:49:42Z")
**Johnny** – I’m so sorry for your loss. There’s no way to be ready for the blow of the loss of a parent, no matter how ready you think you are, and no matter how much of a release you may “understand” it to be when someone you love is suffering. You and she and your sister are all very much in my thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/32 "2005-02-12T13:23:52Z")
She is at peace now and with her husband. I am sorry for your loss and the year of absolute suck that you are seemingly trapped in. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/33 "2005-02-12T14:33:53Z")
I am so sorry to hear your news. The loss of a loved one is a deep sadness. Sending supporting thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/34 "2005-02-12T14:50:06Z")
**Johnny L.A.** you and your family have my deepest and sincerest condolences. ---
**Author:** ![foxymoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@foxymoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxymoron)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/35 "2005-02-12T14:54:18Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/36 "2005-02-12T14:58:28Z")
You have my sympathies, too, Johnny. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/37 "2005-02-12T15:05:44Z")
Oh, so very sorry for your loss, **Johnny**. Cherish the fond memories in your heart and she will be a loving presence always. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/38 "2005-02-12T15:23:25Z")
☹ Having gone through the deaths of both of my parents with terminal illnesses, I know your pain. God Bless. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/39 "2005-02-12T15:23:43Z")
{{{{{ **Johnny L.A.** }}}}} I lost my grandmother a month ago. While this is certainly not in the same league, I do understand, I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I also know what you mean about being glad she was no longer in pain. What friends told me, I’ll now tell you. She knows you love her. Don’t worry about the Valentine’s Day card. She knows you love her. I know this is going to hurt for a while. I’m here if you need me. Be well, my friend, and my sincere condolences. CJ ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710/40 "2005-02-12T15:31:12Z")
I am deeply sorry for your loss. All the best wishes to you and your loved ones in this difficult time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-died/289710.md?page=3)