# My mother has died. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 15, 2016, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186 "2016-02-15T04:34:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/1 "2016-02-15T04:34:07Z")
Earlier this evening my mother succumbed to cancer. She had been suffering from a particularly aggressive form of cancer, one that resisted every attempt at treatment. A few days ago we received word that it had spread to her lungs. We visited her every day, and I had occasion to make my peace with her. I would trade everything I have for just one more day with her. After all the differences we had when I was younger I came to realize that she never wanted anything but the best for me, and she understood that whatever resentment I once had no longer existed. I wasted so much time. So, right now I find myself relieved that she is finally free of the pain that she never deserved to endure, and I now carry my own pain and regret that, like everything else, will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. She told me the other day that I needed to forgive myself. I don’t know how. It’s one lesson that I was never able to learn from her. Goodbye, Mom. You were far better than I deserved. I love you, even if at times I was never able to say it or show it. ---
**Author:** ![Blackstock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c77e96/32.png) [@Blackstock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackstock)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/2 "2016-02-15T04:42:30Z")
I’m very sorry to hear. I’m here if you want to talk about it. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/3 "2016-02-15T04:44:49Z")
I’m sorry for your loss. And I hope that you do come to some peace with yourself over past regrets. You did make peace with her, she knew how you felt. It wasn’t too late, after all. Best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/4 "2016-02-15T04:55:49Z")
Please accept my condolences on the death of your mother. Cancer is an ugly way to die. Treasure your great memories. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/5 "2016-02-15T04:59:42Z")
My condolences. Hope your long lost niece was able to see your mom before she passed or that she will use this as a chance to re-connect. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/6 "2016-02-15T05:01:04Z")
Condolences. Lost my mom the same way. I wish there was something I could say that would make it any better. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/7 "2016-02-15T05:03:25Z")
Very sorry to hear this. My condolences. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/8 "2016-02-15T06:05:12Z")
My deepest condolences. You’re in my thoughts, and please - be gentle with yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/9 "2016-02-15T06:31:18Z")
My condolences, **Airman**. > [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I’m sorry for your loss. And I hope that you do come to some peace with yourself over past regrets. You did make peace with her, she knew how you felt. It wasn’t too late, after all. Best wishes. Good words here; I second them. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/10 "2016-02-15T06:59:52Z")
I’m so sorry to hear it. My condolences ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/11 "2016-02-15T07:20:25Z")
I’m so very sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/12 "2016-02-15T07:22:00Z")
My condolences to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/13 "2016-02-15T07:45:55Z")
I’m very sorry for your loss, Airman. I’m glad you got a chance to make peace with her. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/14 "2016-02-15T10:19:27Z")
My condolences. And that was a nice and heartfelt post, too. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/15 "2016-02-15T10:51:13Z")
I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/16 "2016-02-15T10:54:09Z")
I’m sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/17 "2016-02-15T11:22:05Z")
I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like your mom forgave you some time ago and was able to see you love her, without the complications of the past. That’s a wonderful thing to hold onto. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/18 "2016-02-15T12:00:38Z")
I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother, you, and the whole family are in my thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/19 "2016-02-15T12:09:19Z")
My condolences. Please take care. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186/20 "2016-02-15T12:28:58Z")
All of our sympathies. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-has-died/746186.md?page=2)