# My Mother is Trying to Kill Me **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 2, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-is-trying-to-kill-me/52905 "2001-02-02T19:52:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-is-trying-to-kill-me/52905/1 "2001-02-02T19:52:16Z")
I was out of the office on jury duty (bleah!) for a couple of days, and have returned to find a package from my mom. She ships things to my office since my apartment mailbox is teeny. Anyway, this lovely package contains approximately 112 pounds of candy-- M&Ms, tiny candy bars, Hershey’s Kisses, peanut butter cups (all with Valentine wrapping), as well as Runts and Red Hots. I’ve managed to stuff one of my research assistants with sugary goodness, and pawned some off on my boyfriend, but there plenty more where that came from. So here I sit at work, with a bucket of candy three feet away from me. They’re going to have to roll me out of here on a handcart tonight. Somebody help me. ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-is-trying-to-kill-me/52905/2 "2001-02-02T20:27:53Z")
::has to say what is on everyone else’s minds:: Give me some. Think I’m kidding? No. E-mail me. Spread the chocalately goodness. ---
**Author:** ![racerx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5e9695/32.png) [@racerx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racerx)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-is-trying-to-kill-me/52905/3 "2001-02-02T20:50:25Z")
Ahhhh. Death by chocolate. I can only imagine one better way to die. . . ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-is-trying-to-kill-me/52905/4 "2001-02-02T21:19:40Z")
So can I, **racerx** , but it’s hard to put that in a box 😃 I’ve lured my boss into taking some, and have candified a visiting professor. But there’s still lots left. And that’s not counting what I’m taking home! I love my mom, but I think she’s trying to fatten me up so she can kill me and eat me or something. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-is-trying-to-kill-me/52905/5 "2001-02-03T04:24:50Z")
i believe your mother is concerned about osteoporosis (sp?) and sent you all the lovely chocolate to help you add calcium to your diet. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-is-trying-to-kill-me/52905/6 "2001-02-03T04:57:06Z")
Wish my Mom would send me chocolate… I love the stuff and everytime I go by the dollar store at the mall I pop in and buy cheap chocolate bars… I betcha anything though I’ve gained weight since moving to live with my Grandparents… Grandma is feeding me so much with such good stuff!