# My mother told you I was too brilliant for words. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 10, 2011, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162 "2011-08-10T02:59:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/21 "2011-08-10T17:39:50Z")
It sounds to me like she’s taking shit out on him. It sounds to me like she’s pointing out his current lack of success. It also sounds to me like a bunch of people in this thread are making some very stupid assumptions based on a couple of vague paragraphs. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/22 "2011-08-10T17:45:20Z")
It sounds to me like she said something unpleasant, and he decided that it would be fun to post on the internet that his wife is a loser because she has a crap job that is somehow more demeaning than his no job. Hey, sometimes no one is the nice guy. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/23 "2011-08-10T17:48:51Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > It sounds to me like she said something unpleasant, and he decided that it would be fun to post on the internet that his wife is a loser because she has a crap job that is somehow more demeaning than his no job. > > Hey, sometimes no one is the nice guy. It actually sounds to me like she’s the one bitching about her demeaning job, and he’s explaining why things turned out the way they did. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/24 "2011-08-10T17:52:30Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > It sounds to me like she said something unpleasant, and he decided that it would be fun to post on the internet that his wife is a loser because she has a crap job that is somehow more demeaning than his no job. > > Hey, sometimes no one is the nice guy. Maybe she said something unpleasant, and he decided to vent his frustration on an internet message board rather than venting it on his wife. Sometimes writing things on here helps me calm my frustration level so I can have rational conversations instead of rabid arguments. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/25 "2011-08-10T17:53:09Z")
> [@Labrador Deceiver](#): > > It actually sounds to me like she’s the one bitching about her demeaning job, and he’s explaining why things turned out the way they did. By telling her “TFB” about not helping out with the kids because he was busy doing more important things? Of course, the whole thing is a bit incoherent, so I assume we’re both projecting a bit. > [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > Maybe she said something unpleasant, and he decided to vent his frustration on an internet message board rather than venting it on his wife. One can vent without speaking disrespectfully of one’s spouse. Sorry, but it’s a peeve of mine. No cookies will be given for saying shitty things _about_ your spouse rather than _to_ him/her. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/26 "2011-08-10T17:55:31Z")
Sounds to me like there’s a lot of misdirected anger and stress, aired publicly, and some serious damage control to do at home. **Dropzone** , your wife is more important than our approval. If you need to vent, find an outlet that doesn’t expose your wife to the mockery of thousands or leave a permanent record on the internet. Both of you deserve better. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/27 "2011-08-10T18:02:13Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > By telling her “TFB” about not helping out with the kids because he was busy doing more important things? You really should stop making shit up out of whole cloth. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/28 "2011-08-10T18:06:05Z")
Sigh. > [@dropzone](#): > > I wasn’t there to take care of the babies? TFB. I was in school and you were at home. I’ve offered my interpretation of this, which makes just as much sense as yours. FWIW, I’m silently guessing some things about your relationships from your interpretation, and you probably wouldn’t like those, either. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/29 "2011-08-10T18:10:16Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Sigh. > > I’ve offered my interpretation of this, which makes just as much sense as yours. FWIW, I’m silently guessing some things about your relationships from your interpretation, and you probably wouldn’t like those, either. That’s because you’ve clearly been burned by every man in your life, and have serious issues as a result. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/30 "2011-08-10T18:13:32Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > That’s because you’ve clearly been burned by every man in your life, and have serious issues as a result. Huh? Diana said: **By telling her “TFB” about not helping out with the kids because he was busy doing more important things**? Because Dropzone Said: **I wasn’t there to take care of the babies? TFB. I was in school and you were at home.** Aren’t they pretty darn close? Am I missing something? Where are the serious issues and being burned by men coming into play when it seems to be a pretty close match to what he said? ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/31 "2011-08-10T18:19:00Z")
> [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](#): > > Huh? > > Diana said: > **By telling her “TFB” about not helping out with the kids because he was busy doing more important things**? > > Because Dropzone Said: > **I wasn’t there to take care of the babies? TFB. I was in school and you were at home.** > > Aren’t they pretty darn close? Am I missing something? Where are the serious issues and being burned by men coming into play when it seems to be a pretty close match to what he said? No, they aren’t close. Dropzone seemed to be pointing out that there was a reason he couldn’t spend as much time with the kids, presumably because she was giving him a hard time about it. I have no idea where everyone got the idea that he thought he was more important. And my response to Diana was a direct reaction to her idiotic habit of projecting issues upon people after reading 7 benign sentences. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/32 "2011-08-10T18:24:52Z")
None of his sentences were benign, IMO. You’re interpreting it as “he’s explaining how they got here” and maybe you’re right, but it still sounds to me like he’s still pretty much “explaining” all the reasons he’s better than her. And seriously dude, I do have my own issues (in this case, my distaste for publicly trashing one’s chosen life partner) , which I acknowledge are occasionally projected onto other people. You know, like people. do. I at least have a sense of humor about it, though. Who pissed in your Wheaties this morning? Some woman, I suppose. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/33 "2011-08-10T18:30:10Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > None of his sentences were benign, IMO. > > Seriously dude, I do have my own issues (in this case, my distaste for publicly trashing one’s chosen life partner) , which I acknowledge are occasionally projected onto other people. You know, like people. do. > > I at least have a sense of humor about it, though. Who pissed in your Wheaties this morning? > > Some woman, I suppose. 🙂 My daughter. That bitch. I need to spend more time with her, probably. Seriously, though, it’s all good. I’d apologize, but they kick you out of the pit for that. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/34 "2011-08-10T18:31:58Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > That’s because you’ve clearly been burned by every man in your life, and have serious issues as a result. I have no dog in this fight but I get pretty much the same read as she got. When **Dropzone** says, > [@](#): > > I wasn’t there to take care of the babies? TFB. I was in school and you were at home. And **DianG** says, > [@](#): > > By telling her “TFB” about not helping out with the kids because he was busy doing more important things? It’s kind of stupid for you to say, > [@](#): > > You really should stop making shit up out of whole cloth. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/35 "2011-08-10T18:35:24Z")
Did your übergenius wife know she was marrying a momma’s boy? ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/36 "2011-08-10T18:43:33Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > . . . > > You are my wife and my love, but do NOT insult my work ethic or self-absorption because you had to buy gas this morning because neither of us noticed the gas gauge. While I’m sure your self-absorption is indeed beyond reproach, it does seem that the spouse who is not working might take care of little tasks like putting gas in the car. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/37 "2011-08-10T18:43:49Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > No, they aren’t close. Dropzone seemed to be pointing out that there was a reason he couldn’t spend as much time with the kids, presumably because she was giving him a hard time about it. I have no idea where everyone got the idea that he thought he was more important. > > And my response to Diana was a direct reaction to her idiotic habit of projecting issues upon people after reading 7 benign sentences. I think we’re reading the tone of ‘TFB’ differently. It seems dismissive, especially when followed by the dig at her job. (to me.) Granted, he’s upset, he’s venting… The main thing I don’t really understand is his being upset about a dig at his Mom. Isn’t that what married couples DO? Make fun and insult each others parents and hope the crazy genes won’t pass on to our kids? Maybe my husband and I are doing it wrong… I don’t get upset when my husband calls my Mom insane to me because he’s my husband, he’s an insider, so he has the \*right \*to say stuff like that. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/38 "2011-08-10T18:54:55Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > I have no dog in this fight but I get pretty much the same read as she got. > > When **Dropzone** says, > > And **DianG** says, > > It’s kind of stupid for you to say, We’ve already come to a truce on this, and I don’t see much benefit in going over it yet again. I explained myself above. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/39 "2011-08-10T19:56:29Z")
It’s not all that public. She doesn’t know you and you don’t know her. And I’ve worked to keep it that way. The TFB was a bit much, but she was a stay-at-home mom and I was working fulltime+ and going to night school. And the infant twins were still my responsibility from when I got home until I left in the morning. “It’s important that they know their father.” And they were poor sleepers so I was doing all of that on just a couple hours of sleep. But that was 20 years ago so I should probably let it go. The scholarship wasn’t held for a year and I’m not sure why she didn’t try again. Instead she became an art history major. The post was born of frustration, both that I can’t find a job and the knowledge that she could’ve been so much more. And a fight. Venting somewhere else is how you stay married for 35 years. And fercryinoutloud, my mom said that 30 years ago, but I still get reminded of it. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162/40 "2011-08-10T20:08:40Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > that was 20 years ago > > \ > > 35 years. > > \ > > 30 years ago It’s a good sign that you two address things right away instead of letting them fester. That’s probably what has saved your marriage. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mother-told-you-i-was-too-brilliant-for-words/592162.md?page=3)