# My move to the retirement facility (If joining the thread late, at least skim the first few posts) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 16, 2023, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672 "2023-08-16T19:04:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/301 "2023-09-03T17:45:22Z")
[![](https://i.chzbgr.com/full/7824509184/h8F31D913/vengeance-will-be-mine) ](https://i.chzbgr.com/full/7824509184/h8F31D913/vengeance-will-be-mine) ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/302 "2023-09-03T18:18:36Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Today I am suffering from a paralysis of inactivity. [. . .] I have made this happen really quickly, considering he only dropped the bomb on me a month ago tomorrow. This is accumulated exhaustion, physical and mental. Rest as much as you can today and tomorrow; you deserve it. And it reads as if you’ve gotten everything done that you needed to. @ParallelLines: let’s hope not! They won’t like the results, if they do. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/303 "2023-09-03T18:39:32Z")
I’m in awe of everything you’ve accomplished in such a short time! It would be appropriate for you to rest now even if you weren’t recovering from Covid. You’re paying for full-service moving; it’s entirely right for you to sit back and let the professionals do their job. Thank you for the link to the bidet seat, btw. We’re about to have our main bathroom remodeled and all the toilets in the house replaced with ADA-compliant ones, and I’ve asked the contractor to install outlets near them if it’s not too physically difficult. Now I have a link to show him! ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/304 "2023-09-03T18:54:49Z")
Well done, you! This is a big, huge deal, and you are doing it with Covid. The end is nigh! ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/305 "2023-09-03T19:02:19Z")
I hope not as well @thorny_locust - I was channeling my personal cat, who never forgives, but easily forgets. Which I think is more or less typical of cat-kind. And thankfully, forgetting generally takes 24-48 hours at most! But seriously, @ThelmaLou has worked herself hard to get to this point, some low energy malaise, especially when still running a minor fever is absolutely understandable and in NO way a failure of character or ambition. I suggest ordering in delivery food and providing the cat-overlords tribute of their favorite treat or special occasion food. And some catnip. And the special toys. A cat did not threaten me in any way to type those last bits. No sirree. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/306 "2023-09-03T19:47:06Z")
You’ve done great! Thank you for sharing the journey with us. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/307 "2023-09-03T19:55:24Z")
Yes, this^^. > [@ParallelLines](#): > > I was channeling my personal cat … Great meme. Nicely done! IMO it’d actually it’d work even better with just the first two lines. That would leave the “how” to the audience’s imagination. Escape? Drapery mayhem? Vomit everywhere? Kill you in your sleep next week? The felinevil possibilities are endless. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/308 "2023-09-03T21:42:47Z")
Thanks, y’all, for those very sweet and supportive comments. You’ve made me cry (in a good way). I _am_ feeling very stressed and worn out. I _will_ take it easy and let the professionals take over. The cats and the movers. The installation of the bidet seat in my new place was not a success. The problem came when I went to turn off the water to the new toilet. The valve seems to be already turned as far off as it will go. Actually it wouldn’t budge in either direction, but there didn’t seem to be any room for it to turn any farther to the right. If I just go ahead and disconnect the hose that goes up into the bottom of the toilet tank (so I can attach the bidet bypass) will the whole toilet tank empty? That’s the hose that puts water INTO the tank, right? Does water also come OUT through that hose? I started to loosen that valve and a bunch of water came out and I didn’t have a bucket or any kind of container. I could go back tomorrow with a bucket if that sounds like a good idea. It seems unlikely (though not impossible) that the cutoff valve could just be calcified and frozen. This apartment is supposed to be newly remodeled, although I suppose the toilet could be left over from its earlier life. Tikva still runs to the back door just in case I change my mind, but she doesn’t seem to be holding the confinement against me. She’s been sitting near me and even on my lap. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/309 "2023-09-03T21:51:10Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > the hose that goes up into the bottom of the toilet tank This is the water supply line. Do NOT disconnect it without shutting off the valve. The valve is probably stuck in the open position. If have a pliers handy, you should be able to turn it shut (clockwise). The valve I installed a few years ago only turned a quarter-turn before shutting off; older valves will turn a complete round or more. But do be careful using the pliers, as you don’t want to break anything. It might be worth a call to the maintenance person. Again, do not disconnect the bottom line without shutting off the water supply! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/310 "2023-09-03T22:04:52Z")
Thanks for the prompt reply. I’ll try again to shut off the water tomorrow. Can I spray some WD40 on the valve? I’ll probably wind up trying to get a maintenance person to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/311 "2023-09-03T22:06:46Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Can I spray some WD40 on the valve? I’ll probably wind up trying to get a maintenance person to do it. Absolutely some WD40 would be a good move. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/312 "2023-09-03T23:03:00Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I’ll try again to shut off the water tomorrow. Can I spray some WD40 on the valve? I’ll probably wind up trying to get a maintenance person to do it. Call maintenance! That’s what they’re there for. You have this now – go ahead and use it. I expect they’ve been asked to do a lot worse things than to help install a bidet attachment. And lots weirder ones. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2023, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/313 "2023-09-03T23:24:26Z")
Too late to edit: And they’d probably rather be called to get the valve working than to fix things after they break if you try the wrong tools – But it’s not too late to edit this one to add this: > [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Tikva still runs to the back door just in case I change my mind, but she doesn’t seem to be holding the confinement against me. She’s been sitting near me and even on my lap. That’s a very good sign. She’s coming to you for comfort in times of disruption. She’ll be very glad to find that you’re there in her new place. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2023, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/314 "2023-09-04T00:07:24Z")
Just to add, after you shut off the water supply to the toilet at the valve, and then flush the toilet to empty the tank, and then loosen the hose connection, you should expect some water to come out of the hose, but not under pressure. This is normal, and a towel is usually enuf to handle that. But yeah, have the maintenace person help or just have them do the install. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2023, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/315 "2023-09-04T00:37:29Z")
Ok, friends…suddenly hit with a massive panic attack 😱 How am I going to be able to do this all alone? I feel dizzy and clammy and just sick with anxiety…take care of everything…make sure the cats are safe and okay…get the house cleared of junk…I feel sad, stressed, and overwhelmed…it’s too much 😭 ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2023, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/316 "2023-09-04T01:15:02Z")
I wish there was a _good_ way to deal with a panic attack, but just better and worse ones. First, you need to hear (well, kinda) that it is going to work out, and that we’re all here rooting for you. Wish some number of us, or other friends or family were there to hold your hands and help out, but if wishes were fishes, the cats would be extremely fat… wait that got away from me. Anyway, when it happens to me, I normally pick ONE small thing I can do. Doesn’t have to be high priority (but it helps) or even absolutely need to be done, but it has to be something I can complete. Clean the sink. Take out the trash. Swap SIMS in my spare phones in preparation to unlock them (I did this one last night). Anything concrete that can be completed with what you have on hand. Just getting something accomplished can help. If it persists, do another. And another. My wife, when she gets stressed cleans like a fanatic. I know she’s had a bad day if all the toilets are _gleaming_ for example. But just like online games, that little skinner box of micro successes can be very calming. And if you’re not a melancholy drunk, you can always have a drink or two. That one depends on how booze makes you feel, if it chills you out, great, but if you’re the sort where it just amplifies what you’re already feeling, not so much. Last but not least. I don’t recommend this much but it ALWAYS lifts me out of panic, normally by igniting mind melting rage, but you could call any of your various services customer service line to get assistance in cancelling or confirming the end date of utilities and billing. Nothing like being on hold for 30+ minutes to change anxiety into mind-numbing boredom or bowl clenching rage! Seriously though, try a couple of things, and then check back for more support. 🤗 ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2023, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/317 "2023-09-04T01:55:45Z")
Booze is not an option for me, but I did take 1/4 mg of xanax. That always helps. I think taking the bidet seat over today was one task too many. It’s still well over 100 every day, and I went in the middle of the afternoon. I’m an old lady, FFS! 🙄 Not to mention, I probably still have covid. Tomorrow I REST. Because the next two days will be killers. I will create some small, easy accomplishments, as you suggest. Thanks…I should be able to sleep now. \<_ThelmaLou crawls in from the ledge…_\> ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2023, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/318 "2023-09-04T02:16:26Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > How am I going to be able to do this all alone? I feel dizzy and clammy and just sick with anxiety…take care of everything…make sure the cats are safe and okay…get the house cleared of junk…I feel sad, stressed, and overwhelmed…it’s too much You’ve been doing just fine. You’ve got a plan for the cats, and it’s an entirely sensible plan that will work. You’ve got the movers to clear the house, and a plan for the leftovers. You’ll have help at the new place. > [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Tomorrow I REST. Yes indeed. You have done what you needed to do before Tuesday – and done it ahead of schedule. You will do what you need to do on Tuesday and Wednesday; and yes you know how and yes you can do it and Thursday you’ll be safe home with Tikva on your lap and EC angling to get there too. Tomorrow you rest. (Also Thursday!) ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2023, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/319 "2023-09-04T02:23:00Z")
I am reminded of a quote from Starship Troopers (the novel, not the movie, whatever -that- was): > Happiness consists in getting enough sleep. Just that, nothing more. All the wealthy, unhappy people you’ve ever met take sleeping pills; Mobile Infantrymen don’t need them. Give a cap trooper a bunk and time to sack out in it, and he’s as happy as a worm in an apple—asleep. You’ve been ill, deprived of sleep, and worked to the bone. Get enough _restful_ sleep and things will still be busy and tough, but you’ll remember you are ready for this! Sleep the sleep of the just and may the cats choose to let you sleep in! 🤞 ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2023, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672/320 "2023-09-04T02:47:06Z")
@thorny_locust and @ParallelLines, too. I really appreciate the encouraging words. Sometimes I look at the stuff I have to do (and have had to do over the years) on my own and it boggles my own mind… Somehow it happens. Yes, y’all. What you’re saying is true. One foot in front of the other. Plans are in place. It will all unfold as planned for. Sleep! Gots to have me some! ETA: here’s something - just took my temperature and it was 98.7. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-move-to-the-retirement-facility-if-joining-the-thread-late-at-least-skim-the-first-few-posts/988672.md?page=17)