# My mum is dying **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 19, 2015, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087 "2015-10-19T01:17:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/1 "2015-10-19T01:17:23Z")
So, I just got the word that Mum is in palliative care with pancreatic cancer. This happened very fast. I don’t have a blog or anything so I’m documenting this here: take it or leave it. My Mum (and dad: 2006) brought us from Northern Ireland, via our birthplace of Scotland, to Canada in 1968. My mum loved Canada. She couldn’t believe how hot the summers were, and how cold the winters were, but she embraced every season. My parents took up golf and curling here, which really isn’t surprising for Scottish folks. They embraced Canada with open arms and loved the country. Absolutely no regrets from leaving Scotland or Northern Ireland. My mum wasn’t an extraordinary mother. No, she was quite typical. We walked to school and walked home for lunch. Mum was there with grilled cheese, tomato soup and The Flintstones were on TV. It was perfect 1970s Leave it to Beaver mediocrity. I left home at 22 years old, and although my relationship with my parents was fantastic, I never looked back. I saw them a couple of times a year and that was it. So, now she’s going to die and I won’t have any parents anymore. I’m sad for that. When my dad died in 2006 he stipulated that he didn’t want any service. We had him cremated and spread his ashes along his favorite walking path. I think we’ll do something similar for Mum. She’s a really cool old broad and I’ll miss her dearly. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/2 "2015-10-19T02:04:43Z")
I am sorry for what you will endure. I hope her passing is peaceful. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/3 "2015-10-19T02:23:30Z")
Sorry to hear you’re facing this. Wishing strength to you, and good days to your mum. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/4 "2015-10-19T02:28:47Z")
So sorry to hear this. My condolences and best wishes to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/5 "2015-10-19T02:59:21Z")
So sorry to hear this **Leaffan**. Will be thinking of you. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/6 "2015-10-19T03:10:09Z")
I’m sorry. That orphan feeling is hard, even if you’re an adult when it happens. She sounds like a lovely lady. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/7 "2015-10-19T03:34:15Z")
I’m very sorry to hear this, Leaffan, and I wish you the very best in dealing with this. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/8 "2015-10-19T03:53:28Z")
The only thing worse than a parent’s death is a child’s death. In the great progression toward that cliff called ‘death’, as long as a parent is alive, you are not yet ‘up’ - there is one ahead of you. When the last parent dies, you’re the one facing the cliff - no more buffer generation, _You’re_ ‘Next!’. Deepest sorrow for you. May her passing be as gentle and painless as possible. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/9 "2015-10-19T04:27:39Z")
I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/10 "2015-10-19T05:20:13Z")
I just went through this with my dad. So, when I say I understand how you feel, I mean it. ---
**Author:** ![Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/les_espaces_du_sommeil/32/308_2.png) [@Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Les_Espaces_Du_Sommeil)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/11 "2015-10-19T09:10:42Z")
I’m sorry to hear that. > [@Leaffan](#): > > My mum wasn’t an extraordinary mother. No, she was quite typical. We walked to school and walked home for lunch. Mum was there with grilled cheese, tomato soup and The Flintstones were on TV. It was perfect 1970s Leave it to Beaver mediocrity. My parents are still alive but we haven’t been on speaking terms for years. However, I had a great childhood and what you describe above could apply to me, except it was “perfect 1980s mediocrity”. I do realize that a lot of people around the world can only dream of such “mediocrity”. We were lucky. My thoughts are with you. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/12 "2015-10-19T09:24:13Z")
Yes, my condolences as well. I hope her remaining time is as comfortable as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Heckity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Heckity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heckity)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/13 "2015-10-19T09:37:50Z")
Another Canadian with grilled cheese, tomato soup and the Flinstones for lunch and the stay-at-home Mother giving comfort and safety. My thoughts are with you **Leaffan**. ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/14 "2015-10-19T16:02:52Z")
My condolences to you Leaffan and all that love her. I hope her last days are peaceful. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/15 "2015-10-19T17:35:57Z")
I’m so sorry, **Leaf**. Will you be able to go see her? ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/16 "2015-10-19T17:39:26Z")
My condolences, Leaffan. My parents are still both living (and my Mum’s a cool old broad also), but my wife lost her father a while ago and her mother just a couple of years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/17 "2015-10-19T18:11:54Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I’m so sorry, **Leaf**. Will you be able to go see her? Yeah, I sure hope so. I plan on going down in the next week or so. She’s 440 miles away. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/18 "2015-10-19T18:22:17Z")
Sorry to hear that, **Leaffan**. I offer my condolences. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/19 "2015-10-19T18:26:42Z")
I’m so sorry to hear this, **Leaffan**. Wishing her peace in her final time here. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087/20 "2015-10-19T18:28:12Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Yeah, I sure hope so. I plan on going down in the next week or so. She’s 440 miles away. I hope you’ll have a safe trip. (( **Leaffan** )) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-mum-is-dying/735087.md?page=2)