# My, my, my! Clarence is trying to upgrade his look. New teeth are first on the agendas **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 20, 2021, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693 "2021-06-20T17:23:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2021, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693/1 "2021-06-20T17:23:53Z")
Bad, bad, bad. For starters. Son-of-a-wrek gotta ahold of a bunch of crab legs. So he takes my card and goes and buys them. And then he invited a bunch of his loser friends to my house for a party. Whoo hoo! I do like the crab legs, though. Mr.Wrekk has been fishing with his Buddy, who we’ll call Billy. Billy badass. Billy stinko drunk. Billy ten foot tall and bullet proof. He brings Billy to the crab boil. Whoo hoo! Party is on the deck. I’m steady trying to keep kids from getting killed and dogs are safe. Of course, the Siamese are in the beams. The crabs were great. Gallons of beer was drank (drunk?) The party ended kinda early, thank you Jesus. Billy badass passed out. Somehow they got him to the couch. And he slept over. We’re up early around here. And he continued to snore. The lil’wrekker made Mimosas this morning. So this crazy bunch were kinda high at 9:30, (how did I get in a family like this?) Billy struggled to his feet and got to the bathroom. When he came out Lil’wrekker handed him a Mimosa He drank some, jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Uh oh. I don’t think he needed ‘hair of the dog’ He NEEDED his teeth. Uh oh, you might say. I know I did. I told Big Wrek this was his problem. Happy Father’s day. I thought surely he puked them up in the bathroom. BigWrek, btw had a hangover as well, checked the bathroom. No AWOL teeth. He bribed the grandkids to look for them. No luck. Billy big britches gummed his way thru breakfast. So I’m gonna walk the dogs. We’re geared up to go. All dogs on alert. I decided to glance under the deck and see how bad Clarence’s hangover was. And what do you suppose Clarence has in his lair? A nice pricey set of upper dentures. That 'possum ain’t right! ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2021, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693/2 "2021-06-20T18:29:46Z")
Waaaay too funny, Beck!! I think I’d be tempted to let Billy Badass worry about his pricey dentures for a few days before I’d tell him they were found. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2021, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693/3 "2021-06-20T18:58:48Z")
Oh, hell no. I told Big W where they were. He said, and I quote…“that goddamn 'possum is getting on my last nerve, he ain’t right”(in a rude manner, I believe) It’s not like Clarence took them out of Billy’s mouth. He found them. When I got home, Blathering\* Billy was gone. And Clarence was asleep by the burn barrel. All is well in the animal kingdom I call home. 😏 (\*I’m trying to use more descriptive words) ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2021, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693/4 "2021-06-20T19:08:39Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I’m trying to use more descriptive words) Beck, if you use more descriptive words I’ll end up laughing so hard I’ll leave a wet spot on the couch. _that could be a problem in the animal asylum_ that is my house-I have only one Siamese and no beams-could end up being a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2021, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693/5 "2021-06-20T19:10:01Z")
I forgot to mention my big Sister is on her way here. All the way from Austin, Texas. Dragging her Pearl-light beer and her disgusting Poodle. None of her kids would babysit it. I really don’t blame them. The party just never ends. 😬 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2021, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693/6 "2021-06-21T03:30:45Z")
Big Sis got here. She is currently working on her second 6pk of Pearl-light. She seems to be in a light hearted mood. Thank you, Jesus. I now owe you 2 this weekend. Thank god Big Sis has all her own teeth. She was not impressed by Clarence. Til I told her of the missing teeth ordeal. More later… ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2021, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693/7 "2021-06-21T06:28:44Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > She is currently working on her second 6pk of Pearl-light. You miss-represent. That is the back end of a Twelve Pack. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2021, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693/8 "2021-06-22T16:05:37Z")
I was expecting to read, “Clarence smiled at me. Strange-strange-strange! Something was REALLY not right! Then I yelled to Ol’ Wrek that I found the missing teeth. Clarence retreated to under the steps and pouted the rest of the day.” ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2021, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693/9 "2021-06-22T16:13:00Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > My, my, my! Joe Kenda fan? [https://scontent-iad3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.18169-9/11350657\_783248155122928\_1626723426450765218\_n.jpg?\_nc\_cat=106&ccb=1-3&\_nc\_sid=9267fe&\_nc\_ohc=jpn9HypWU9YAX\_yBvz0&\_nc\_ht=scontent-iad3-2.xx&oh=0c24ce06b0b5bedb30516a251d8bbc7f&oe=60D69882](https://scontent-iad3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.18169-9/11350657_783248155122928_1626723426450765218_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=9267fe&_nc_ohc=jpn9HypWU9YAX_yBvz0&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-2.xx&oh=0c24ce06b0b5bedb30516a251d8bbc7f&oe=60D69882) ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2021, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-my-my-clarence-is-trying-to-upgrade-his-look-new-teeth-are-first-on-the-agendas/944693/10 "2021-06-23T03:34:48Z")
Becks, the fun never stops, does it? Especially if you know how to look at it right. Glad you are blessed with a sense of humor because seeing Clarence with those teeth is absolutely classic good humor.