# My name is not 'Google' **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 14, 2007, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425 "2007-11-14T21:28:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/61 "2007-11-15T13:13:01Z")
How do I get to Carnegie Hall? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/62 "2007-11-15T13:43:31Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] How do I get to Carnegie Hall? [/QUOTE] Practice. Ba-dum-dum. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/63 "2007-11-15T14:19:04Z")
Iā€™m 28, and not only am I the font of all office knowledge, but my wife occasionally thinks I have a near-doctoral degree level of knowledge about whatever short story she happens to be working on, which gets surreal fast: ā€œWhat do russian mobsters talk about when they play poker?ā€ ā€œHow long do you think it takes the scars from a branding iron to scab over?ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/64 "2007-11-15T14:43:00Z")
[QUOTE=shamrock227] Who wrote the book of love? [/QUOTE] Well, you just did for startersā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/65 "2007-11-15T15:06:05Z")
Why _does_ the porridge bird lay its eggs in the air? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/66 "2007-11-15T17:31:51Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] The really bad thing is that Lobsang and his co-workers work at KFC. [/QUOTE] šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![Mushbrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mushbrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mushbrain)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/67 "2007-11-15T17:53:31Z")
[QUOTE=Lobsang] My name is not ā€˜Googleā€™ [/QUOTE] His name **is**. [http://www.thelocal.se/article.php?ID=2335&date=20051020](http://www.thelocal.se/article.php?ID=2335&date=20051020) ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/68 "2007-11-15T18:37:49Z")
[QUOTE=Chrismoody] Porn. No.. Not of you. Go get me porn. [/QUOTE] > **[Red Wolf Web Design: 404](https://www.redwolf.com.au/404/)** > [@](#): > > Once upon a midnight dreary, > While I websurfed, weak and weary, > Over many a strange and spurious website of hot chicks galore, > > While I clicked my favā€™rite bookmark, > Suddenly there came a warning, > And my heart was filled with mourning, > Mourning for my dear amour. > > 'Tis not possible, I muttered, > Give me back my cheap hardcore! ā€” > Quoth the server, ā€œ404ā€. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/69 "2007-11-15T19:35:06Z")
- My name is Google Iā€™m full of facts and more Iā€™m always there for you Yes I think youā€™ve used me before If you need to know something late at night Iā€™m available, I donā€™t bite Please just ask me what you want Please just ask me what you want Please just ask me what you want \* Apologies to Suzanne Vega ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/70 "2007-11-15T20:16:48Z")
šŸ˜• My husband called me this morning to ask me the name of Mia Farrowā€™s daughter that Woody Allen was involved with. šŸ˜• Why in Godā€™s name would I know that? In his defense, though, heā€™s not used to asking me stuff like that and stumping me. (Is it Soon Ye, or something like that???) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/71 "2007-11-15T20:39:41Z")
See, he asks you because you know! Soon Yi. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/72 "2007-11-15T20:44:55Z")
Is it faster to New York than by train? ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/73 "2007-11-15T20:55:54Z")
Seriously dude, you missed out. If you _were_ named Google you could have started a website with your name on it. And you would be filthy fucking rich right now. [Lobsang.com](http://Lobsang.com) just brings up some stupid German shit. There ainā€™t no money in that. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/74 "2007-11-15T23:39:43Z")
Is the Dalai Lama right- or left-handed? This really was my last Google search. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/75 "2007-11-16T00:23:09Z")
[QUOTE=NurseCarmen] [Lobsang.com](http://Lobsang.com) just brings up some stupid German shit. There ainā€™t no money in that. [/QUOTE] Germans have been obsessed with coprophagia for some time now. Thereā€™s a niche in that. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/76 "2007-11-16T00:44:24Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] See, he asks you because you know! Soon Yi. [/QUOTE] Huh. :dubious: Now, WHY do I know? Thatā€™s what worries meā€¦why is my head full of this useless CRAP??? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/77 "2007-11-16T02:55:18Z")
Because 90% of **everything** is crap\*! \*or, more accurately, crud. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/78 "2007-11-16T05:15:16Z")
[QUOTE=vivalostwages] People I have never met in my life before constantly come up to me anywhere, any time, asking all sorts of questions. ā€œDo you think my husband would like this birthday card?ā€ ā€œDid the tailor do a good job on my pants?ā€ ā€œDo these bananas look too ripe to you?ā€ And so on. Evidently, I have both INFO and GOOGLE stamped across my forehead in neon green. [/QUOTE] Maybe youā€™re related to me. We have local cop genes or something; people will ask us for directions all the time (as well as whether the blouse theyā€™re trying on is the right size or they should try the next-bigger or to help them find a good watermelonā€¦). Iā€™ve been asked directions after having been in a foreign city for less than ten minutes and while wearing a huge backpack you could see over my head - the scary part is that I actually knew the answer. My youngest brother used to snark at our stories of people using us as the information booth, until that day he was in Madrid with a day trip to El Prado. Five minutes after leaving the train someone asked him how to reach a place and he was able to provide three possible subway routes (all correct, we checked later). Heā€™d never been in Madrid before. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/79 "2007-11-16T13:23:48Z")
[QUOTE=TroubleAgain] Huh. :dubious: Now, WHY do I know? Thatā€™s what worries meā€¦why is my head full of this useless CRAP??? [/QUOTE] Well _someone_ needs to be equipped to win Trivial Pursuit. Might as well be you. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/80 "2007-11-16T16:41:49Z")
[QUOTE=TroubleAgain] Huh. :dubious: Now, WHY do I know? Thatā€™s what worries meā€¦why is my head full of this useless CRAP??? [/QUOTE] I know. I canā€™t remember what I did yesterday but I know Jennifer Aniston has a dog named Norman. :smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425.md?page=5)