# My name is not 'Google' **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 14, 2007, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425 "2007-11-14T21:28:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Mayo\_Speaks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mayo\_Speaks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayo_Speaks)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/81 "2007-11-19T18:15:58Z")
I work for a UPS Store. I have variations on this conversation pretty regularly: **SCENE** : It’s a Monday. **CUSTOMER** : I need to ship this novelty dildo to my mom. Her birthday’s tomorrow. **ME** : OK. UPS Next Day Air would get your dildo into your mother’s hands\* by 10:30am tomorrow morning for $60. **CUSTOMER** : Hmm, that’s kind of pricey. What other options are there? **ME** : UPS Ground could guarantee delivery by the end of the day on Wednesday for $15. **CUSTOMER** : Hmm. You think she’d mind if her dildo was one day late? **ME** : I don’t know, but our lives are about the choices we make. Another favorite: **CUSTOMER ON PHONE** : What time do you close? **ME** : 8 o’clock. **CUSTOMER** : [longish pause] And what time is it now? \*or wherever. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/82 "2007-11-19T19:38:47Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] I know. I can’t remember what I did yesterday but I know Jennifer Aniston has a dog named Norman. :smack: [/QUOTE] Oh, SHIT. More useless crap to crap up my brain with! :mad: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/83 "2007-11-19T19:53:57Z")
Have you recovered yet from all the [vicious attacks](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_bomb)? ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/84 "2007-11-20T19:11:09Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] Omigod! What’s it like being 28? Do you ever like, look in the mirror and go “omigod! I’m like, so _old_!” I _so_ cannot imagine being 28. That’s like, almost _30_! _ **Gross** _! [/QUOTE] I hate you so much right now. I’m rapidly approaching 28 (two months now) and I’m feeling very old. I didn’t start feeling old until my sister turned 30 in January. Why did her turning 30 make ME feel old? I’m also used to being the youngest person in whatever job I happen to have. Lately though, I’ve gone from working in cubicle farms with middle aged women, to working in retail and factories with recent high school grads. Ugh. At least I don’t have crows feet yet. And my hair has natural white highlights so the age-whites don’t show up yet. ---
**Author:** ![Will\_Repair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a698b9/32.png) [@Will\_Repair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Will_Repair)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/85 "2007-11-20T20:57:41Z")
The correct answer is always, “If you run you’ll just make it!” Instead of answering to “What time is it?” by saying, “Time to buy a watch.” I did the following. It’s Friday afternoon. “What time is it?” I look at my watch and add ten minutes. Next “What time is it?” I look at my watch and add twenty minutes. Next “What time is it?” I look at my watch and add … Finally The Pest says, “Wow, almost time to go home!.” “Er, no. It’s still two hours to quitting time.” ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/86 "2007-11-20T21:56:49Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] Either of you used [images.google.com](http://images.google.com)? 😛 [/QUOTE] Well someone had to do it so I did. Nine hits. One was a picture of the Dali Lama smiling with his arm in the air. 😕 or :eek: ( I can’ decide on which is more appropriate.) Another is of a mannequin on the side of a road and another is of Archie playing a guitar. another is sketch drawing of a figure stretching the mouth of another figure in front of it and below is a caption of, “I can always make you smile.” The other five are of gibberish. ---
**Author:** ![SomeUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@SomeUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SomeUserName)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425/87 "2007-11-21T12:26:29Z")
It still surprises me in this day and age how many people don’t “Google it” My BF who is new to the computer world, he touched his first mouse a year and a half ago, still asks me random stuff. I tell him to Google it and he is amazed over and over again what he can find on the net. He is like a little kid that found his first set encylopedias. Cool recipes, neat news sites, DIY stuff, it is all out there. Now if I can just get him to remember to ad them to his favorites he could save a lot of time then having to Google the same things and over again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-name-is-not-google/426425.md?page=4)