# My neighbor just mowed my lawn. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 25, 2002, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485 "2002-04-25T02:41:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![neisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4bbf92/32.png) [@neisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neisha)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/21 "2002-04-25T07:27:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LordVor \* > \*\*WTF? Why would somebody think that they can mow the lawn in front of _my_ house without asking me if I minded? > > It’s not like it needed it that badly, I do cut the stuff every other weekend (it hasn’t quite woken up yet from it’s winter dormancy). Granted, I don’t over-fertilize it to the point where it is unearthly green like the neighbor does, but it’s still not a _bad_ lawn. > > If he didn’t cut it shorter than I wanted it, I probably wouldn’t say anything. But how the fuck are you supposed to politely say “Could you please never mow my lawn again?” > > -lv \*\* Tell him that \ ***next time** \* you don’t want it as short or you won’t let him do it any more. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/22 "2002-04-25T07:39:44Z")
Wait until he’s just fallen asleep, then mow his lawn. If that doesn’t communicate the message, plant a bunch of trees in his yard when he’s not home. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/23 "2002-04-25T09:44:37Z")
It’s a slippery slope; one morning you will wake up to find him shagging your wife and wearing your clothes (although possibly not at the same time), mark my words. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/24 "2002-04-25T09:55:01Z")
Her lawn needed trimming. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/25 "2002-04-25T10:08:21Z")
This is a tuffy, since NDN did something ostensibly nice, but with a nasty undercurrent of “you’re not doing it right.” You could always say hi, shake his hand, look him in the eye and say “Don’t mow my lawn again.” and leave it right there. If you try to be too nice about it he may not get the idea that you were offended. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/26 "2002-04-25T10:18:47Z")
There is a wider issue here - what is the etiquette for asking someone who has done something nice to not do it again? I’m sure most of us run into this problem regularly. I’ve been on both ends of it - I used to always do the **kabbess’** laundry until she had to point out to me that I’m not very good at laundry and was shrinking her clothes (hey - not _my_ fault if they make women’s clothes out of strange materials that can only be washed by moonlight or something. Give me plain ol’ cotton, man.) It’s a tricky issue. I don’t like telling people not to do stuff at the best of times - when they’re feeling good about helping you it becomes even harder. pan ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/27 "2002-04-25T10:21:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cazzle \* > \*\*That bastard! > Wait until he’s outside. Walk out, look around in disbelief, scream “Nooooo!” and fall to your knees, sobbing. > \*\* Then pick up one of the blades of cut grass, cup it in your hands, and sob “ **Timmy!** Speak to me, Timmy! Don’t leave me, Timmy!”. Odds are that not only will your neighbor never come onto your lawn again, but will put up a fence. I’ve been guilty on occasion of shovelling snow from the sidewalk in front of a neighbor’s house without asking, but mowing someone’s lawn without asking is a bit bizarre. Bury some bits of metal piping in the lawn with a short length sticking out, then see if he mows your lawn more than once. ---
**Author:** ![Racer1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@Racer1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Racer1)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/28 "2002-04-25T10:52:00Z")
Hmm… Since it was the first time he has done it, I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was just trying to be nice. Rather than saying anything to discourage him from doing it again, perhaps you could just drop a hint by leaving a chair on the lawn or some kind of ornament he’d have to move? If he did it again, you could just thank him but tell him not to bother in future as you’re not sure what you’re going to do with the lawn yet. (I.e. you could be planning a flowerbed for all he knows). You wouldn’t have to do anything, but I doubt he’d go back there after you’d told him (albeit nicely) not to. Alternatively, you could stick up a barbed wire fence, buy some attack dogs, and spend everyday patrolling your lawn armed to the teeth with Uzi’s while periodically stopping, staring over at him and make the slitting your throat action. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/29 "2002-04-25T10:55:58Z")
You know you have to confront the guy. There probably isn’t an easy way to do it. Ask him why he thinks he is entitled to mow your lawn and then just tell him that its your lawn and you will mow it when you think it needs mowing. On the other hand, I once had a neighbor who was very proud of his snowblower. At just a hint of snow, he would be outside, blowing out every driveway and sidewalk in sight. That guy could have mowed my lawn twice a week and I wouldn’t have said a word. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/30 "2002-04-25T14:45:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Speaking as someone who was recently 16 years old, I kind of resent that. I’m sorry if you resent it, **matt** , but you of all people should know how most 16 year olds are. Hint: they ain’t all like you. ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/31 "2002-04-25T15:01:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cull \* > \*\*Why do you care about your lawn? Are you afraid what all the other suburbanite SUV-driving patio-grilling two-car-garage-cleaning middle aged yuppy wastes of life you live with are going to think? If that’s not it, maybe your life just doesn’t have enough hatred in it, and you’re just plodding through your life looking for people and things to hate. You have my sympathy. \*\* Heh heh. Uh… **yeah** , Cull, that’s _exactly_ it! :rolleyes: Dork. Question, though…does “Teach” know that you’re playing on the internet during Algebra class? ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/32 "2002-04-25T15:10:47Z")
> [@](#): > > If he did it again, you could just thank him but tell him not to bother in future as you’re not sure what you’re going to do with the lawn yet. (I.e. you could be planning a flowerbed for all he knows). You wouldn’t have to do anything, but I doubt he’d go back there after you’d told him (albeit nicely) not to. I like Racer1’s suggestion here. I agree that his doing that was a little bizarre, but unless you can be sure of whether it was a) “non-lawmowing lazy ass neighbor- I’m gonna show him!” or b) “It’s a beautiful day-I’m not up to much-as long as I’m out here, lemme be a good Samaritan and mow Lordvor’s yard. He will be so sruprised and pleased, and this weekend, he’ll have a few more hours to play with his kids/dog/self. I love being a nice guy!” It would probably be best to assume it was -B-. I’d hate to think of the guy’s feelings getting hurt. Just telling him that you’re going to try something new with the lawn, though, keeps the peace, doesn’t offend him, and keeps him out. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/33 "2002-04-25T15:18:58Z")
I like **jr8**'s idea of the metal pipes. Or, just nestle a few rocks in the grass. Hell, just booby-trap your whole yard and then watch the show. I had a neighbor a few years ago who would mow our lawn, but my roommates and I were greatful, we were renting a house while in college and didn’t have a lawn mower. Our neighbor would just take 10 more minutes and do ours. It doesn’t sound like this is your experience, but is it possible he is trying to be nice? Have you been sick recently, had any reason he might think he is doing you a favor, is he an older, kindly gentleman who tips his hat and has been watching Oprah, practicing random acts of kindness and senseless beauty? Is he paying it forward? No? Then tell him to leave you the fuck alone. I would never mow the lawn of someone who had a “Danger! Landmines!” sign in their yard. No, siree. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/34 "2002-04-25T15:27:17Z")
First off, I would suggest the polite approach. If you get confrontational, you are going to be the one who everyone in your neighborhood thinks is the asshole\*. “Bob mowed LordVor’s lawn and LordVor jumped all over him for it. What a jerk. See if I ever do him a favor.” See? Of course, if you don’t care, go for it. Whether Bob had unpleasant motives or was just trying to be nice, he will be able to play up the nice angle and come out smelling like roses. I would suggest, “While I appreciate you doing such a nice thing for me, I would feel more comfortable if I mowed my own lawn.” When he comes back with, “I was just trying to do something nice for you,” you can say, “Oh, yeah, I understand completely and I’m quite thankful. It’s just one of my things.” Put all the blame on yourself and he likely won’t even remember to be offended the next day. I don’t like people doing things for me, because I feel like they then have leverage over me. I wouldn’t want someone mowing my lawn, because I’d feel that when they wanted help cleaning their gutters/repainting their house, I’d be obligated to help. \*I don’t think LordVor is an asshole. I’m just telling you what everyone who hears the story from Bob is going to think. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/35 "2002-04-25T15:37:05Z")
**matt\_mcl** sdaid: > [@](#): > > It strikes me as a large, uncomfortable object into which labour, money, and scorn from one’s neighbours is poured. Wow. You don’t even own a lawn, and yet you’ve gotten right to the heart of what a lawn is. I’m impressed. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/36 "2002-04-25T15:41:07Z")
Jeez, guys. Not every person doing something ostensibly nice has an evil motive to do it. As noted above, the safest (not to mention most sensible) assumption is that the guy was just trying to be a good neighbor. (Maybe we’re so unused to that these days that we don’t recognize it when we see it?) So IMO the question is how to tactfully ask the guy not to do it again. My two cents: Thank him sincerely for mowing the lawn, but then regretfully give him a reason you must ask him not to do it in the future. The suggestion that you like to keep the grass a little longer to keep down weeds is a good one. Or you could admit, with a smile, that seeing him out there doing your work just makes you feel guilty, which you’d prefer not to feel. Or say that you don’t feel comfortable taking a favor from someone when you know you won’t have time to pay it back. There are several friendly ways to ask someone not to repeat a favor, so long as you preface the request with an acknowledgement that it _was_ a favor and that the person’s intentions were good. You don’t want to make the guy feel bad; you just don’t want him to do it again. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/37 "2002-04-25T15:42:22Z")
So, basically, what THROATSHOT said. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/38 "2002-04-25T15:42:30Z")
Also, lawns are in no way uncomfortable. You try lying out on concrete or gravel and seeing how far you get. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/39 "2002-04-25T15:48:47Z")
> [@](#): > > I like jr8 's idea of the metal pipes. Or, just nestle a few rocks in the grass. Hell, just booby-trap your whole yard and then watch the show. I don’t think this was meant to be taken seriously, but on the off chance it was – this is a Very Very Bad Idea. Don’t do it. ---
**Author:** ![Robb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Robb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robb)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485/40 "2002-04-25T16:01:55Z")
To begin with, after NDN cuts **rsa** ’s lawn, please send him over to mine - the weeds could use a good trim. I think you need to work on a tactful way to ask “What were you thinking?” and then somehow explain your lawn mowing strategy. You should probably do it sooner, rather than later as your neighbor might be sitting in his house resenting your hippie long hair grass. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbor-just-mowed-my-lawn/105485.md?page=3)