# My neighbor's brightly glowing penises **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2014, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610 "2014-01-01T04:11:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/1 "2014-01-01T04:11:24Z")
I just noticed that one of my neighbors has a big bright penis in each of his front windows. They are made of Christmas lights, white for the “shaft” and red for the “head.” I’m assuming they’re supposed to be candles, but they are the most phallic candles I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/2 "2014-01-01T04:20:07Z")
Um… Congratulations? ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/3 "2014-01-01T04:30:43Z")
PICS! ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/4 "2014-01-01T04:51:48Z")
> [@usedtobe](#): > > PICS! or it didn’t happen ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/5 "2014-01-01T04:55:31Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I just noticed that one of my neighbors has a big bright penis in each of his front windows. They are made of Christmas lights, white for the “shaft” and red for the “head.” I’m assuming they’re supposed to be candles, but they are the most phallic candles I’ve ever seen. Hopefully they are meant to be penises. You know the spirit of Christmas and all that. ---
**Author:** ![randompattern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@randompattern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randompattern)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/6 "2014-01-01T05:00:08Z")
Are they circumcised? Maybe they’re Jewish.:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/7 "2014-01-01T05:08:03Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Hopefully they are meant to be penises. You know the spirit of Christmas and all that. Yule, rather than Christmas, perhaps. Herm, hum… ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/8 "2014-01-01T05:11:34Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Yule, rather than Christmas, perhaps. Herm, hum… No, we have a whole penis-celebratory holiday, but it’s in May, not December. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/9 "2014-01-01T05:13:55Z")
> [@usedtobe](#): > > PICS! No kidding. I NEED to see a picture of these infamous candles! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/10 "2014-01-01T12:14:41Z")
It’s the tradition to put a penis in the window to welcome in lonely strangers ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/11 "2014-01-01T12:21:31Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > It’s the tradition to put a penis in the window to welcome in lonely strangers “How much is that penis in the window?” ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/12 "2014-01-01T12:32:58Z")
Maybe you’re just horny? I see them everywhere when I’m horny! ---
**Author:** ![QueenOfClubs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/53a042/32.png) [@QueenOfClubs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QueenOfClubs)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/13 "2014-01-01T12:39:51Z")
> [@randompattern](#): > > Are they circumcised? Maybe they’re Jewish.:dubious: Only if there are eight of them and they have been lit since November. I think Hanukah was really early last year. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/14 "2014-01-01T12:43:24Z")
**Are they, perhaps, Japanese?** –Bosda asked, knowingly ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/15 "2014-01-01T14:22:55Z")
_choking, laughing_ ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/16 "2014-01-01T15:14:44Z")
Maybe the neighbor is just trying to make a vas deferens in the neighborhood. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/17 "2014-01-01T16:05:11Z")
The humour here has me prostate on the ground. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/18 "2014-01-01T16:10:03Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Maybe the neighbor is just trying to make a vas deferens in the neighborhood. he hasn’t the glans for it. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/19 "2014-01-01T16:14:43Z")
My neighbor erected lovely cement pillars on which to place her plants, and then when it got cold she put upside-down pots over the plants to protect them. This has been my view since about October: [![](https://i.imgur.com/c0rBap1.jpg) ](https://i.imgur.com/c0rBap1.jpg) It’s extra creepy because she’s got a husband and 2 sons. So it’s basically a little penis shrine, until her flowers bloom again. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610/20 "2014-01-01T16:18:38Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > …So it’s basically a little penis shrine, until her flowers bloom again. This could be read so many ways. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-neighbors-brightly-glowing-penises/677610.md?page=2)