# My new boss is a dick. (long, boring) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 22, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266 "2009-08-22T01:28:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/21 "2009-08-23T00:08:23Z")
> [@hroark2112](#): > > I’d start keeping my ears open for new opportunities, especially if they’re within your bank. It’s fairly obvious that you’re not going to respect him (for good reason, don’t take that wrong!) and that he’s a tool who wants his way, even if it’s wrong. This. Your boss is correct about one thing–you’ve got to respect your manager for him to be effective. He’s confused about the order of operations here, though. Step one is for him to earn your respect, and he’s run his account with you deep into the red already, to the point where it’s hard to imagine him climbing out of that hole (even if he suddenly decides to care what you think). ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/22 "2009-08-23T00:42:49Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > . . . absent defalcation . . ., they won’t do anything. Damn straight! Crapping on the floor will definitely get noticed. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/23 "2009-08-23T02:04:24Z")
Yippie-ki-yea, Mister Defalcation. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/24 "2009-08-23T10:34:05Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > Into what? Let’s just say it doesn’t auger well. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/25 "2009-08-23T17:02:36Z")
> [@ENugent](#): > > Never mind recording and documenting - just start interviewing. This cannot end well. God yes. Like **Chimera** , never have I met someone who demanded respect and deserved it. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/26 "2009-08-23T17:27:26Z")
> [@KarlGauss](#): > > Damn straight! Crapping on the floor will definitely get noticed. Inigo Montoya: "_I do not think it means what you think it means. "_😛 ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/27 "2009-08-23T19:09:23Z")
defalcation - crapping falcons? defecation - … never mind ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/28 "2009-08-23T22:23:47Z")
**defalcation** Definition _Diversion, misapplication, misappropriation, misuse, or theft of funds by some executive or high official who is entrusted with those funds. Similar act by a lower-level employee or functionary is called embezzlement._ [http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/defalcation.html](http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/defalcation.html) ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/29 "2009-08-24T03:37:17Z")
Whoosh . . . ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/30 "2009-08-24T14:23:55Z")
> [@newcrasher](#): > > Ok muthafucka. You have been in your job a month. We have had two meetings and they have both not gone well. > > First off I work for a bank. I am in sales. I was a top loan (refi, equity lines, business lines of credit, purchase money) producer until the bottom fell out of the market…AND I only wrote good business, able to sleep at night knowing I did the right thing for people, even if it meant counseling them to save money and not borrow from me. > > After the loan market collapsed I REMAINED a top producer in our other lines of business. In all areas where we are objectively measures I am in the top 5%, somtimes in the #1 position. I do an excellent job. > > So you, fuckwit, come onto the scene from a peripheral position. You know vaguely what I do, and you are a manager and your job is to help me with MY job, or coach me if needed. > > Your first day you come to my office with your boss. I tell you about an equity line I am trying to get closed for a guy in time for him to pay college tuition for his daughter. All of the requirements are in and documented, but in our (GINORMOUS) bank’s infinite wisdom, we decided to start doing loans without hiring any underwriters. So My customer’s deal languishes on some desk without being looked at. So I give you a chance to shine in front of your boss, asking you to swing your big-manager-dick around a bit and get an underwriter to look at my deal since it is time sensitive. You proceed to lecture me at length about how I could have made this deal go smoother. Except you have never originated or processed a loan in your fucking life and you are completely talking out of your ass! Yeah I called you out on it front of your boss, but if you don’t want to look like a fool, don’t try to make me look like one. But I did learn that after working for many bosses who believed if they can make me look good, they in turn look good as well, I finally have a boss that wants to make himself look good by making me look bad…point well taken. > > My bank is merging another bank. Our loan processes are combining as well. It is very confusing. It is next to impossible to get anything approved, and it is like navigating a maze of horseshit and razorwire to make progress. The VAST majority of people in my position are still focusing on other lines of business waiting for more clarity before they start doing loans, but no not me. I am still trying to do what is right for the customer, even if it is a loan. > > But this particular gentleman, even though he has good credit and plenty of value in his house, was turned down because he has a high amount of revolving credit (AKA credit cards debt). So he tells me he is going to sue. (whatever, dude) So I send an email to my boss filling him in so he isn’t blindsided by this guy. > > He comes into my office today unannounced at 5:00 and tells me we need to call the customer. OK, no problem. He goes in another office and calls me in. When I get in there he is talking to the customer. HELLO? Don’t you want to talk to me to get some details? Find out what happened? But ok, you want to wing it. I’m cool with that. > > The call goes on for 30 minutes and I just sit there. The air condition is on WAY cool and at one point I wrap my arms around myself and rub my arms a bit. > > So he gets off the phone and says, “So do you want to tell me your side of the story?” Ummm, my side? I didn’t turn the guy down, the new guidelines did. Well the customer was pissed and embellished a few details, saying I told him he was approved, which I did nt do. He also said I didn’t return his call promptly, but his expectation was a return call within an hour, which just is ot reasonable. > > So I start to tell Mr. Boss Man what happened and he cuts me off saying that he believes the customer and doesn’t want to hear my excuses. Huh? What the…? Are you kidding me? > > He said he was concerned because this is the second customer issue I have had. MOTHERFUCKER THE FIRST ISSUE WAS ME ASKING YOU FOR HELP, NOT A CUSTOMER COMPLAINT. I FUCKING CALLED YOU! The second is a disgruntled guy who got turned down. So you know what? I am joining the ranks of the rest of your crew, and just avoiding loans. Do 'em yourself, or explain to your manager why your team is not producing. > > Then to cap it all off he says, “You must respect me, and it is innapropriate for you to yawn while I am on the phone with a customer.” I said, “I didn’t yawn.” He said “I am pretty sure you did.” I said “I shivered a little because its cold in here”. He said, “That was disrespectful.” > > Fuck off. He is trying to get rid of you. He is setting the groundwork both in his own mind and trying to undermine your confidence. Soon the written reprimands could come. By then the writing is on the wall and he is just following company policy in the process of getting rid of you. Why would he want to get rid of you? Could be several reasons. The main one is that some managers like to have people feel they owe him/her…so they like to hire their own. Someone else hired you…you probably give off a cocky attitude and he wants someone subservient. In this economy in particular he probably feels he can replace you in a snap. Also…he may already have someone in mind to replace you and so wants you gone. When you get a new boss for ANY reason…it is a very dangerous time for you. When I ever get a new boss I am nervous for about a year before I calm down. IME, the attrition rate of people under new bosses is rather high…approx 20-25%. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/31 "2009-08-24T15:22:29Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > I would say you need to be extremely careful around this man. He is in the position of having to manage people with more expertise than he has, and that is not an acceptable balance of power for any manager. > > He’s going to make your job depend on anything _but_ that expertise…ass kissing, picayune procedure, slights real or imagined. Yep. That truly sucks. I’m in a similar situation. I’ve had a new boss for about a year now. She’s telling me about all sorts of things wrong with the database/intranet site that I built and that has been in use for about six years now. She’s spent maybe five minutes looking at it. She recently took a class on SQL server, and struggled through every bit of it. She clearly has no clue what it’s all about. Yet te day after she finished, she looked at my database (for all of one minute) and decided that the entire structure needed to be changed so that she can understand it better. (I told her that that was not going to happen.) ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/32 "2009-08-24T16:16:27Z")
These stories always remind me of “The Amityville Horror.” When the voices start whispering “Get OUT! ! !” do so, and quickly. My experience with “documenting” was that HR took my complaint straight to the manager in question - in order to warn him that he had a “troublemaker” on his hands, and that he had to be more careful as it could end up costing the company money if I got any real proof. The subsequent meetings, it turned out, were being used to rate him on his ability to follow that advice. Thank goodness for the HR underling who was new enough to be appalled by what she saw and clue me in. ---
**Author:** ![Claire\_Beauchamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@Claire\_Beauchamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claire_Beauchamp)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/33 "2009-08-24T16:50:59Z")
Get Out Get Out Get Out. Srsly. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/34 "2009-08-24T17:07:00Z")
> [@KarlGauss](#): > > Whoosh . . . It can’t, be whooshes are supposedly funny. It’s more likely you just didn’t know the meaning of defalcation. Look at it this way, anyone who is stupid enough to go for such an unfunny comment in the middle of a very serious problem thread is likely not smart enough to know the meaning of words with more than 3 syllables. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/35 "2009-08-25T00:24:30Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > It can’t, be whooshes are supposedly funny. It’s more likely you just didn’t know the meaning of defalcation. Look at it this way, anyone who is stupid enough to go for such an unfunny comment in the middle of a very serious problem thread is likely not smart enough to know the meaning of words with more than 3 syllables. You got me, doc. I’m a stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/36 "2009-08-25T01:09:26Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > It can’t, be whooshes are supposedly funny. It’s more likely you just didn’t know the meaning of defalcation. Look at it this way, anyone who is stupid enough to go for such an unfunny comment in the middle of a very serious problem thread is likely not smart enough to know the meaning of words with more than 3 syllables. It was kinda funny, and regardless of whether he knew what “defalcation” meant, I think it’s a safe bet he knew it _didn’t_ involve crapping on floors. The correct term for crapping on floors, of course, is “dething”. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/37 "2009-08-25T04:01:50Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > It was kinda funny, and regardless of whether he knew what “defalcation” meant, I think it’s a safe bet he knew it _didn’t_ involve crapping on floors. This discussion is reminding me of the scene in _Moscow on the Hudson_ where Robin Williams makes his breakaway from his KGB handlers. He sidles up to a department store clerk (in Macy’s, I think) and mutters, “I defect.” The response, of course, is “Hey man, not right here - the men’s room is over there!” ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/38 "2009-08-25T08:15:26Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > It was kinda funny, and regardless of whether he knew what “defalcation” meant, I think it’s a safe bet he knew it _didn’t_ involve crapping on floors. > > The correct term for crapping on floors, of course, is “dething”. Yes, but the correct term for crapping _in threads_ is “ekering”. 😛 Yeah, KG, I know, but this was a serious thread with a serious problem with one of our posters. The joke was barely even a grin and certainly didn’t fit the tenor of the thread. But hell, you hijacked this poor dudes thread and at least one poster thought it was funny, so I guess it was worth it, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/39 "2009-08-25T23:07:01Z")
Leaving all the hysterical humour in this thread aside, your boss doesn’t like you, **newcrasher** , for whatever reasons. I think you have two options before you quit (if he doesn’t fire you first) - suck up to him like you said, asking for his advice, running everything by him, etc., and if that doesn’t work, try the mediation route, and if **that** doesn’t work, you’re done with this department. You have my sympathy; sometimes personalities just clash, and it is unfortunate that this guy is the boss of you. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266/40 "2009-08-26T03:56:19Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Yes, but the correct term for crapping _in threads_ is “ekering”. 😛 [I was accused of that once](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=364426) but it turned out the prosecutor was insane. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-boss-is-a-dick-long-boring/507266.md?page=3)