# My new computer is fuxx0r3d. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 17, 2003, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490 "2003-12-17T07:08:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/1 "2003-12-17T07:08:05Z")
So here I am, happily slaying demons and shit on US West in Diablo II, when my wife casts Summon Husband so I can put away my ridiculous heap of T-shirts. I exit the game I’m in but leave the program running so I can go back to it quicker. Later, I go back and see the mysterious message that lsass.exe was unable to start, so I try to reboot and nothing happens. I hit the soft power switch and still nothing happens, so now I’m thinking “What the fuck?” So I hard boot, attempt to start in safe mode, same thing, so now I’m getting worried. I shut down, get on the laptop to research online, and conclude that some Windows files got corrupted, so I put in the XP disk and try to repair the system. Now it says my disk is corrupt and it can’t fix it. “Arrrgghhhfuckingpieceofshitmotherfucker!!!” says I. Then the real fun begins. FDISK. FDISK is your friend. Well, it’s a harsh sort of friend, the kind that burns down the villiage to save it, but my villiage has become Tristram after the Hero sticks Diablo’s Soulstone in his head. But even after FDISK scours clean the foulness and Win XP Setup attempts to create a new partition, yet more unholy beasts reveal themselves, chanting the cryptic message “STOP: 0x00000050 PAGE\_FAULT\_IN\_NONPAGED\_AREA,” leading me to exclaim, “What in Trogdor’s name is this bullshitfuckingshit?!” So I find [a page on Microsoft.com](http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=http://support.microsoft.com:80/support/kb/articles/q171/0/03.asp&NoWebContent=1) that says I probably have some busted memory somewhere, and to disable all of it, even the cache, and reenable bit by bit. Well, my BIOS doesn’t want to disable any cache, but I did turn off the fast boot option, which was skipping some autodiag stuff. And lo and behold, rather than 1024 MB of RAM, I had about 237. Two-hundred-fucking-thirty-fucking-seven. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/2 "2003-12-17T07:10:23Z")
So you say ‘new computer’, does that mean the good news is it’s still under warranty? ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/3 "2003-12-17T07:11:01Z")
Stupid browser, I wasn’t finished. Bastard. Well anyway, the moral of the story is, make sure your memory test runs on boot so your hard drive doesn’t get fuxx0r3d because some program got corrupted by some deviant RAM and overwrote some shit it wasn’t supposed to. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/4 "2003-12-17T07:16:12Z")
Danalan: No, I built it myself. I got the memory at CompUSA because it was actually a little cheaper than at Frys, but it may bite me in the ass because they have a policy of no refunds unless they overcharge you for installation at the store. Rest assured I am going to give the manager over there an earful if I can’t get a refund. Next time I’m fuckin’ going to Fry’s; they don’t know jack, but at least you can actually return crap. ---
**Author:** ![SubliminaLiar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@SubliminaLiar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SubliminaLiar)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/5 "2003-12-17T07:35:49Z")
Using leet-speak (like ‘fuxx0r3d’…) will corrupt your disk, much like it has corrupted our language; I thought everyone knew this by now. _Yeah okay, it doesn’t really… I’m just sayin’_ Err, anyway: sorry to hear of yer misfortune~~ hopefully you get it all squared away, and can return to the slaying of Demons soon 🆒 And on previewing, I see Fry’s mentioned; decent prices but (as you said) they don’t know much, & they do allow returns. Only problem with the returns is the amount of returned merchandise that goes back on the shelves, only to bought & then returned again… and again… BUT I too still shop there (carefully). :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/6 "2003-12-17T08:49:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sturmhauke \* > > So here I am, happily slaying demons and shit on US West in Diablo II, when my wife casts Summon Husband so I can put away my ridiculous heap of T-shirts. I exit the game I’m in but leave the program running so I can go back to it quicker. > > Later, I go back and see the mysterious message that lsass.exe was unable to start, so I try to reboot and nothing happens. I hit the soft power switch and still nothing happens, so now I’m thinking “What the fuck?” So I hard boot, attempt to start in safe mode, same thing, so now I’m getting worried. I shut down, get on the laptop to research online, and conclude that some Windows files got corrupted, so I put in the XP disk and try to repair the system. Now it says my disk is corrupt and it can’t fix it. “Arrrgghhhfuckingpieceofshitmotherfucker!!!” says I. > > Then the real fun begins. FDISK. FDISK is your friend. Well, it’s a harsh sort of friend, the kind that burns down the villiage to save it, but my villiage has become Tristram after the Hero sticks Diablo’s Soulstone in his head. But even after FDISK scours clean the foulness and Win XP Setup attempts to create a new partition, yet more unholy beasts reveal themselves, chanting the cryptic message “STOP: 0x00000050 PAGE\_FAULT\_IN\_NONPAGED\_AREA,” leading me to exclaim, “What in Trogdor’s name is this bullshitfuckingshit?!” So I find [a page on Microsoft.com](http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=http://support.microsoft.com:80/support/kb/articles/q171/0/03.asp&NoWebContent=1) that says I probably have some busted memory somewhere, and to disable all of it, even the cache, and reenable bit by bit. Well, my BIOS doesn’t want to disable any cache, but I did turn off the fast boot option, which was skipping some autodiag stuff. And lo and behold, rather than 1024 MB of RAM, I had about 237. Two-hundred-fucking-thirty-fucking-seven. The fuck are you talking about? Just a suggestion, you and **spingears** should find a [middle ground](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=229746) and petition the Mods for a new Forum. _To all non-1337, imagine the OP as one about a washing machine:_\*[ul]Observe. My confabulator, whilst pressing bubbles of soapy surfactant through my mostly polyester bits of thready detachable outer coating, has developed a palsy and its washtub is stalled. Instead of seeking the advice of Maytag officials, I have instead endeavored to reach into its mechanism with a butterknife and remove its primal urges. It no longer cleans my clothes, but its noise is remarkably less objectionable.[/ul]😕 1337 = leet, or eLITE: People who think they’re mad haxxors. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/7 "2003-12-17T12:12:00Z")
I just built a new copmuter myself, and went through 3 videocards until I realized I had bad ram. Frustrating stuff. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/8 "2003-12-17T15:45:06Z")
Always. Always. Always buy your memory from [Crucial.com](http://Crucial.com). It’s not more expensive, and it’s _worth it._ ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/9 "2003-12-17T19:14:54Z")
Crucial is good, and I’ve also had good ‘luck’ with Kingston on all the machines I admin at work. Haven’t had a bad stick of RAM in 2 years. ---
**Author:** ![dietrologia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@dietrologia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dietrologia)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/10 "2003-12-17T19:21:31Z")
That lsass.exe error is a motherfucker. Do a search on it and see all the grief it’s caused and how there’s really no solution to it save a reformat. Expect to see this error again and again even after you do. For some reason, Windows XP doesn’t like certain hardware configurations – compaq and other manufacturers have issued patches for it. On my home built rig, I’d get the lsass.exe within hours after reformating. Eventually had to drop back to 98se and everything’s been cool ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/11 "2003-12-17T19:28:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by E-Sabbath \* > \*\*Always. Always. Always buy your memory from [Crucial.com](http://Crucial.com). It’s not more expensive, and it’s _worth it._ \*\* How’s that, do they test it all before shipping? Or are you just referring to return policy? Either way, thanks, I’ll keep them in mind next time I buy memory. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/12 "2003-12-17T19:38:40Z")
lsass is supposed to rear its evil head if the computer gets interrupted during any type of installation process. For me, this seemed to include hanging while searching for a device. In my inexpert but experienced experience, it requires a complete wipe and reinstall. What else can be said? It’s obviously a bullshit bug that no one has seen fit the patch. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/13 "2003-12-17T20:12:06Z")
Higher quality RAM, to start with, tested before it ships, _and_ a good return policy. All of it. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/14 "2003-12-17T20:19:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. B \* > **The fuck are you talking about? Just a suggestion, you and spingears should find a [middle ground](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=229746) and petition the Mods for a new Forum.** Your lack of computer knowledge is not my concern. \*\* > [@](#): > > 1337 = leet, or eLITE: People who think they’re mad haxxors. \*\* But I _am_ //@|\> |-|@xx0r, mad I tell you! Wheeee! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/15 "2003-12-17T20:22:05Z")
😛 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/16 "2003-12-17T20:43:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by E-Sabbath \* > \*\*Always. Always. Always buy your memory from [Crucial.com](http://Crucial.com). It’s not more expensive, and it’s _worth it._ \*\* I’ll stick with R&D Dynamics, Inc. That’s my brother’s company and he’s been in the business since '87. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/17 "2003-12-17T21:06:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dietrologia \* > **That lsass.exe error is a motherfucker.** Indeed. I read 20 different websites on it, and they said 40 different things. \*\* > [@](#): > > On my home built rig, I’d get the lsass.exe within hours after reformating. Eventually had to drop back to 98se and everything’s been cool ever since. \*\* I don’t think Win 98 would like my 3.2 GHz processor or my 500 GB hard drive. I have an ATA card to make the hard drive work, but I’ve heard that Win 98 won’t go faster than 2 GHz. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/18 "2003-12-17T21:12:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by E-Sabbath \* > \*\*Always. Always. Always buy your memory from [Crucial.com](http://Crucial.com). It’s not more expensive, and it’s _worth it._ \*\* Fuckin’ A. Crucial is the good stuff. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/19 "2003-12-18T00:38:46Z")
**Mr B.** , he didn’t use any words that any semi computer-literate person hasn’t at least heard, especially if they have had problems in the past. Except for in the thread title. I beg all of you not to use leet any more. Please? Pretty please? ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490/20 "2003-12-18T03:10:46Z")
I agree, Crucial is a top-notch memory brand, but I happen to prefer Corsair myself. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-new-computer-is-fuxx0r3d/219490.md?page=2)