# My niece and dating. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 24, 2014, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-and-dating/708101 "2014-12-24T16:48:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 32
**Author:** ![ArztWolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@ArztWolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArztWolf)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-and-dating/708101/32 "2014-12-25T16:48:12Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > What are some positive qualities besides being “smart”? How does her intelligence manifest? > Obviously she has some major issues that are going to make finding someone she is interested in, who is also interested in her difficult, but putting those aside for a moment, what will her ideal partner see in her? Is she loyal, honest, caring? Funny, thoughtful, reliable? Insightful? Empathetic? Her disabilities are not a reason to date her, and for the right person for her, they won’t be a reason not to. > Her lack of social experience may be a better starting point than trying to find a romantic partner just yet. If her therapist is at a loss as to how to help her find friends, maybe try a different therapist. She has interests. She has a job. You haven’t mentioned her being a jerk, but even jerks usually have friends. She may need help finding them, but there are surely friends out there for her. She is like a walking encyclopedia on animals, medical issues and history. She has an EMT liscense, but can’t do the job due to her limitations. She did excellent on the written parts, but had issues with the multiple step physical tasks and the heavy lifting. She is a really good listener and does not interrupt or monologue. Sh is very loyal to the people who give her a chance and look past her issues, which is a very rare thing. Most people, around here that is, when they learn about her problems will write her off has being “stupid” or “challenged” and not want anything to do with her. Part of the problem is her interests aren’t those of the general population of this area. She is into history, science, medical things and the webcomic Girl Genius. Most of her friends have left for college/the military (the only guy she remotely clicked with, who turned out to be Bisexual, is on an aircraft carrier outside of Japan right now), and since as of right now college is not working out (it may next year, she holds out hope) she is having trouble finding people with similar interests. She is the type to take a bullet for someone, she is really lonely and can’t find anyone to even try and listen to her. She has a mild speech issue (brain moves faster then the tongue) and people take that to mean she is “retarded” and should be ignored. I know I’m rambling, but it is so hard for her right now. All the other people her age in the family have already started careers, paired up and most have had children (she doesn’t want kids). So she gets Christmas cards from other relatives showing them with their SOs and that makes her feel worse. My sister and her husband are emotionally distant people, as my sister’s illness got worse she drifted farther away from her daughter. I can’t tell her to just stop thinking about it. Her main outlet (besides volunteering) is writing Girl Genius slash fiction, mainly between Maxim and either Dimo or Oggie. Just reading one of her stories, you can tell she is in pain. --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-and-dating/708101)._