# My niece has been raped **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 26, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632 "2009-05-26T00:47:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/121 "2009-05-27T18:58:23Z")
If any of this is even real (which I doubt), you fucked up going public on a message board with this. See, if you’re going to do something along these lines, you need to keep it secret both before and after the fact. That means you do it by yourself and you never, ever discuss it with anybody. You clearly are not the type of person who should even consider this kind of activity. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/122 "2009-05-27T20:01:19Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Highly doubtful in this case. The person doing the suing would have to prove the allegation wasn’t true and that the accuser KNEW it wasn’t true. The plaintiff would also be subject to deposition and questioning under oath, as would all his co-rapo buddies. Actually, no. Truth is a _defense_ against the tort. So the person being sued, the defendant, has to prove the allegation he made about the plaintiff _is_ true. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/123 "2009-05-28T07:55:08Z")
> [@SnugTheJoiner](#): > > This is unfathomable to me. There was a time when people would stand up and fight for their children, to the death if necessary. Now it’s easier to pay a stranger to pretend to be their child’s friend and listen while she cries. > > I have not seen my niece’s self-righteous douchebag father for many years–I don’t even know where he lives, and no one’s telling me–but I ever meet him in the flesh again, things will not go well for him. > > I fucking hate this world sometimes. first make sure you have the entire story, I am not saying at all that your niece is lying or anything like that but you may not have all the facts > [@TV\_time](#): > > My suggestion is follow him. Find out when he is alone. Jump him and cut his balls off. > > Excuse me for not being sufficently pedantic to join the discussion on definitions of “violated”. good lord man get it right already you find some people who know some people who know a guy who will follow him and cut his balls off, sheesh ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/124 "2009-05-28T10:42:49Z")
I had some shit typed out but thought better of it. Please just call the police. Whatever happens after that is not on you. Call them. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/125 "2009-05-28T13:13:28Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Actually, no. Truth is a _defense_ against the tort. So the person being sued, the defendant, has to prove the allegation he made about the plaintiff _is_ true. No, I think you’re wrong on this. It’s a defense if the person believes it to be true. There has to be malice. Plus the OP has not named anybody. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/126 "2009-05-28T13:22:16Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > No, I think you’re wrong on this. It’s a defense if the person believes it to be true. There has to be malice. I don’t think you’re going to win an argument with an actual lawyer on this one. For whatever it’s worth, though, I think you’re wrong, and also that the malice part applies only to cases involving public figures. > [@](#): > > Plus the OP has not named anybody. Technically I think you don’t have to _name_ anyone - it can still be libel if the person is identifiable. Which is probably not the case, and nobody’s going to sue anyone based on a post on this message board, but what the hell, online, everybody’s a lawyer. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/127 "2009-05-28T13:29:01Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I don’t think you’re going to win an argument with an actual lawyer on this one. For whatever it’s worth, though, I think you’re wrong, and also that the malice part applies only to cases involving public figures. You have a greater duty to ensure that your statements about a private citizen on a matter not of public interest are correct. In other words, you can be a hell of a lot more carefree about what you say about someone in the public eye. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/128 "2009-05-28T13:35:35Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > No, I think you’re wrong on this. It’s a defense if the person believes it to be true. There has to be malice. At common law, falsity was presumed. So truth was an affirmative defense. Some states changed the rule and made falsity part of the plaintiff’s case. The First Amendment cases have modified the rules further in cases where the the plaintiff is a public figure (in which case the plaintiff must show “actual malice,” which isn’t the same as real malice) and in matters of public concern, at least with respect to media defendants,\* even a private individual must prove falsity. [http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=475&invol=767#776](http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=475&invol=767#776) - And probably non-media defendants too. [Internet and Online Law - Kent D. Stuckey - Google Books](http://books.google.com/books?id=Ju_QqmLDzmoC&pg=PT192&lpg=PT192&dq=first+amendment+non-media+defendant&source=bl&ots=5iDlK9br2t&sig=9G3sQQAG9b38Ebizbl9RuRzJ7mQ&hl=en&ei=_5EeSsDYJJ24tAP1kYWOCQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2) (noting lower courts apply \*Hepps \*to non-media defendants.) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/129 "2009-05-28T14:08:03Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > No, I think you’re wrong on this. It’s a defense if the person believes it to be true. There has to be malice. > > Plus the OP has not named anybody. Wait, what? I can call you a rapist all I like, and if you want to make something of it you have to: - prove you are _not_ a rapist - no obligation on me to prove that you are, and - prove that I do _not believe_ you are a rapist (by whatever means I don’t quite know) otherwise I’m in the clear either by justification or by honest belief? I can see one or two problems here. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/130 "2009-05-28T14:25:35Z")
Since this is living on, I’ll throw in another worthless opinion. Why is the girl’s father the only one deserving of spit in the face? I think her mother (the OP’s sister IIRC) is just as deserving. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/131 "2009-05-28T14:40:42Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Wait, what? I can call you a rapist all I like, and if you want to make something of it you have to: > > - prove you are _not_ a rapist - no obligation on me to prove that you are, and > - prove that I do _not believe_ you are a rapist (by whatever means I don’t quite know) > > otherwise I’m in the clear either by justification or by honest belief? I can see one or two problems here. > [@](#): > > the plaintiff in such an action must prove that the defamatory publication “was made with `actual malice’ - that is, with knowledge that it was false or with reckless disregard of whether it was false or not.” > > * * * > > These cases are clear that reckless conduct is not measured by whether a reasonably prudent man would have published, or would have investigated before publishing. There must be sufficient evidence to permit the conclusion that the defendant in fact entertained serious doubts as to the truth of his publication. Publishing with such doubts shows reckless disregard for truth or falsity and demonstrates actual malice. [http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=US&vol=390&invol=727](http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=US&vol=390&invol=727) But that’s a standard for defamation cases brought by public figures. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/132 "2009-05-28T16:05:25Z")
> [@SnugTheJoiner](#): > > I know very little about the rapist except his name and address and the fact that he is (unfortunately) a member of the U.S. armed forces. > [@SnugTheJoiner](#): > > She will not tell me the rapists’ names. So do you know who raped her or don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/133 "2009-05-28T23:35:39Z")
If you’re only in contact with your sister (the mother), then I, too, would couch the conversation with “How would you respond if the guy walked up and punched your daughter in the face, then let his buddies each take a punch?” She deserves a real ass-chewing like only a family member can give. The dad _deserves_ a punch to the face. I would hope you could find a way to talk to your niece, tell her that you are behind her and _her_ decision, but let her know that if she wants to go forward to the police you stand by that. ---
**Author:** ![Blake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@Blake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blake)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/134 "2009-05-29T00:40:56Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > No, I think you’re wrong on this. It’s a defense if the person believes it to be true. There has to be malice. How is telling someone’s boss that they are a rapist in order to get them fired _not_malicious? > [@](#): > > Plus the OP has not named anybody. Uh, yeah he has. He has walked up to the person’s boss and named them specifically as a rapist. IANAL, and I certainly wouldn’t be engagingi n such behaviour wihtour along talk with a lawyer first. ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/135 "2009-05-29T08:10:57Z")
> [@](#): > > then I, too, would couch the conversation with “How would you respond if the guy walked up and punched your daughter in the face, then let his buddies each take a punch?” Precisley! It boggles the mind that anyone who would press charges against someone for committing phsycial assault would not press charges if there was sexual assault going on. The only difference is that they used a dick for a weapon instead of their fists. Sexual assault has as much to do with real honest to god loving caring sex, as a frying pan used as a weapon in a domestic dispute has to do with cooking. Just wish people understood that! ---
**Author:** ![jakesteele](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed8c4c/32.png) [@jakesteele](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jakesteele)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/136 "2009-05-29T17:11:17Z")
If you want to get down and dirty there are some extreme measures you can try. First off, if he’s an acquaintance your niece should ask around to her friends and see if she can find other girls he’s done this to and see if she can get them to come forward and file charges. Also, there are probably other men who know this guy that don’t approve of what he did and maybe you could get some of them to come forth. The more the better. Now, if you really want to get down and dirty, see if you can hire two or three bigass, leather, gay guys to rape him. If he has children, make an anonymous call to the Child Protective Services accusing him of child abuse. Then do it a couple of months later and so forth. The CPS, by law, have to investigate every claim. They will clear him, but they will have a paper trail on file on him and will always consider him a person of interest. Start writing on all the bathroom walls in town, especially his main watering hole, something to this effect: Bottom bitch looking for dominate top into S&M. I need someone to fuck me and to hurt me. signed: Bob Smith 364-7789 (his name and number, of course. If you can catch him passed out at a party you can pull his pants and boxers down around his ankles and use lipstick to paint his mouth bright red and then write on his forehead: Anybody’s Bitch. These are very radical approaches and could potentially get you into big trouble with the law, but even then his actions would be made public at you trial as to motive. Also, there are books you can buy that are all about the many ways you can get revenge on someone. But remember, revenge is a dish best served cold. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/137 "2009-05-29T17:16:17Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > Precisley! It boggles the mind that anyone who would press charges against someone for committing phsycial assault would not press charges if there was sexual assault going on. The only difference is that they used a dick for a weapon instead of their fists. Sexual assault has as much to do with real honest to god loving caring sex, as a frying pan used as a weapon in a domestic dispute has to do with cooking. Just wish people understood that! As I wrote upthread: It’s very sweet that you think this way. But I know of an uncomfortable number of men–American men uner 50–who consider the rape of a female family member largely as an offense against the men she’s related to. And, if you think about it, that assumption is built into the word _rape_. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/138 "2009-05-29T18:29:09Z")
> [@jakesteele](#): > > But remember, revenge is a dish best served cold. It’s very cold… in space. Not that it’s relevant but any chance to quote Khan! ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/139 "2009-05-29T18:36:06Z")
I am very suspicious of this discussion. I hope (and believe) it didn’t happen the way the OP described. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632/140 "2009-05-29T21:05:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by SnugTheJoiner > I know very little about the rapist except his name and address and the fact that he is (unfortunately) a member of the U.S. armed forces. > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by SnugTheJoiner > She will not tell me the rapists’ names. > [@HelloNinja](#): > > So do you know who raped her or don’t you? Oooo, good catch. Although, he \*may \*mean the others who were invited to participate by the first rapist. I think the ‘she’ he is referring to is the sister, not the niece. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-has-been-raped/497632.md?page=8)