# My nineteen-year-old son went to the beach and while he was gone I moved away **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538 "2004-07-23T16:54:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Shaolinrabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Shaolinrabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shaolinrabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/81 "2004-07-24T04:02:55Z")
> [@RingOfFire](#): > > So which was it? Did you sneak away or did he know? šŸ˜• You must be kidding šŸ˜‰ > [@](#): > > The date of my move was up in the air when he made plans to go to the beach. This means that he made plans to go to the beach at some indefinite time in the past. > [@](#): > > When he drove away, he knew that Iā€™d be gone when he came back. This means that at the present time, he was aware of the move. These two concepts put together would state that at someindefinite time in the past, when the date of the move had not been set, her son made plans to go to the beach. At the present time, or rather in the slight past, she set the date for the move, and because it conflicted with teh previously made plans to go to the beach, her son was aware of the move, but went anyways. He therefore knew when he left for the beach, that his Mom would be moved when he got back. ---
**Author:** ![Anita\_Vacation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Anita\_Vacation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anita_Vacation)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/82 "2004-07-24T04:16:37Z")
> [@leafrog](#): > > And didnā€™t we hear the story of Kyleā€™s trip to climb Kilamanjaro last year? **leafrog** , youā€™re so sweet to remember that! Yes he climbed with my seventysomething-year-old mother. He was seventeen at the time. My heart is warmed, and my faith in SDMB has been renewed. I left my office at 5:15 and after seeing how humorless this thread had become Iā€™m now cheered to find that many people did find amusement in my OP. I want to state a number of things for the record: -The original OP was written in a style that I hoped would be amusing to anyone who has teenagers in the house. I never thought that a reader would have to have inside information to enjoy the joke. Letā€™s look at it again: > [@Anita Vacation](#): > > No, really! When he came home, the house was empty except for his clothes and bed. I didnā€™t tell him my new address; I swear, Iā€™m not making this up! > > It can be done, folks. This is the stuff of legend, and Iā€™m proud to say I pulled it off! šŸ†’ -I was trying to be as obvious as possible and still retain some humor. ā€œNo, really!ā€ ā€œI swear, Iā€™m not making this up!ā€ ā€œIt can be done, folks.ā€ ā€œThis is the stuff of legendā€ Come on now, if I had dumped my kid, if he was a ā€œa pedophile drug addictā€ or even just ā€œan unforgivable fuck-upā€, would I have posted that kind of OP? I donā€™t think you need the back-story to recognize that a mother in that kind of trouble would have posted in the Pit to vent, or in IMHO to get some advice. Iā€™m sorry that a few people didnā€™t get the joke. **Shaolinrabbit** , you are wise beyond your years, or behind your ears, either way: Thank you for your post. Also my thanks go to everyone who chimed in that my humor wasnā€™t so obscure as to be lost completely. Anyone else who dreams of having the house to themselves can email me for pointers. Iā€™m going to see if I can get this thread closed now. ---
**Author:** ![Shaolinrabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Shaolinrabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shaolinrabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/83 "2004-07-24T04:44:05Z")
> [@Anita Vacation](#): > > **Shaolinrabbit** , you are wise beyond your years, or behind your ears, either way: Thank you for your post. šŸ˜ƒ Iā€™m no Wittgenstein, but Iā€™m going to compensate by learning to surf. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/84 "2004-07-24T06:01:33Z")
Right after I graduated from High School, my parents sold our house, and moved away. The contract to sell had about a ninety day lag time, and since I had a job in the area, and did not plan to leave for school, I told my parents I would rather stay in the old house, until I moved to college. They said fine, but I had to be out by the last day of August, because a cleaning crew would show up and throw out anything that was still in the house, bright and early on September the first. I lived there all summer. No parties and I didnā€™t mention it to my friends. Until . . . August 31st. I was at a friends house, he asked if I wanted to do something, and I said I needed to go home and change clothes. I suggested he drive. He agreed, and we picked up a friend along the way. I walked into the house, with them, and called out, ā€œMom?ā€ They were aghast. Especially when they saw the note my mom had left, giving the date the cleaners would come. (I had left it in place.) It was such a great gag! No one had noticed that all my clothes and personal stuff were packed up in the car, ready to leave the next day for school. Nothing in my room but a bed, some sheets, and lamp. I said, ā€œOh well, fuck the bed.ā€ Picked up the lamp, and walked out. My friends were so pissed when I told them I had been living in the empty house for the two and a half months. Tris ---
**Author:** ![pyrrthon1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@pyrrthon1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pyrrthon1)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/85 "2004-07-24T06:54:01Z")
> [@John Carter of Mars](#): > > If you know itā€™s a joke, why did you find it necessary to make a snarky remark? Because sometimes (almost always) jokes bespeak true feelings. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/86 "2004-07-24T07:05:36Z")
**Anita** , you think youā€™re slick? I went to boot camp and my parents sold the house, and moved on me. šŸ˜ƒ (Well, I did get an change of address form, but it floored my CC when he was ranting about ā€˜you canā€™t go homeā€™ and I started smirking.) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/87 "2004-07-24T11:02:14Z")
This happened to someone I knew in college. He went home after the spring semester to discover that his parents had moved without telling him. He went to his grandmotherā€™s place to get the address and she refused to tell him until he mowed the lawn. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/88 "2004-07-24T13:52:08Z")
> [@pyrrthon1](#): > > Because sometimes (almost always) jokes bespeak true feelings. Even if that were true, who are you to say what the true feelings are and interpret them? Anita is one of my best friends and I know both her and her son. I can tell you for certain that the ā€œtrue feelingsā€ here are that she found it humorous that her situation (moving while her son was out of town, and he hadnā€™t seen the new place yet, though he knew she had bought it and knew she was moving that day) could be stated in a way that sounded like the clichĆ© of the parents running off without letting the kids know. This sort of humor is common around here and I have no idea why it seems to have backfired on this particular occasion. To me itā€™s similar to things like the time I told everyone that Iā€™d gotten into Anitaā€™s pants and slept in her bed the night before. I stated it like that, and it was the absolute, literal truth. See, Iā€™d spent the night at her house and slept in her guest room (she owns the bed, so itā€™s her bed) and Iā€™d borrowed a pair of her pants to wear, so I was in her pants. But it was much funnier to word it in a way that made it sound like something else. Of course, the full explanation was forthcoming, as it was in this case. The need for so many to read something sinister into things, rather than picking up on cues (smileys and so on, and the reactions of the people who knowher) is very disturbing. What ever happened to the benefit of the doubt? ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/89 "2004-07-24T14:33:54Z")
I donā€™t know **Anita** , but I got the gag. I just donā€™t think someone who did this in a bad way (and apparently that does happen), would have posted it so cheerily on a message board ā€“ so I assumed that there was a backstory and deduced more-or-less what the backstory was. But then, I have an 18 year old son. Believe me, if youā€™re raising teenagers, you _gotta_ have a sense of humor. For example, some of you know that my son is going to summer school to graduate early (heā€™ll be graduating next month, during what would have been the summer between his junior and senior years) and enlisting the Navy ā€“ I started a couple of threads about it during the winter. Yet, when speaking to people I often joke about how ā€œwe took him down to the recruiters and signed him up.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/90 "2004-07-24T14:34:55Z")
Dammit! If some kind Mod would fix my coding, Iā€™d really appreciate it! ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/91 "2004-07-24T15:20:02Z")
> [@pyrrthon1](#): > > Because sometimes (almost always) jokes bespeak true feelings. Sometimes, definitely, but definitely not almost always. A lot of jokes are funny because theyā€™re the opposite of the truth. For example, I will frequently makes jokes with my husband like, ā€œNo, I donā€™t remember that conversation. You must have been talking to your girlfriend about that.ā€ I donā€™t for one second think that he would actually cheat on me, and thatā€™s why itā€™s funny. ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/92 "2004-07-24T16:05:16Z")
> [@Geobabe](#): > > Sometimes, definitely, but definitely not almost always. A lot of jokes are funny because theyā€™re the opposite of the truth. For example, I will frequently makes jokes with my husband like, ā€œNo, I donā€™t remember that conversation. You must have been talking to your girlfriend about that.ā€ I donā€™t for one second think that he would actually cheat on me, and thatā€™s why itā€™s funny. I do this too. Even leaving messages for him now and then at work when a new person answers his office phone for him to call his girlfriend on her cel. Charmingly enough he always knows just who to call. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Anita\_Vacation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Anita\_Vacation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anita_Vacation)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/93 "2004-07-24T17:07:32Z")
> [@pyrrthon1](#): > > Because sometimes (almost always) jokes bespeak true feelings. Absolutely; there is a little truth in all role playing. In this case, the truth is that Iā€™m in heaven living on my own again for the first time in twenty years! The fact that I moved out while he was out of town was icing on the cake. He made the decision to move in with friends a while back, and since then, he has treated my suggestions with disdain and has turn his nose up at my offers to help him. He is a confident teenager who thinks he knows what to expect when he gets out on his own, and for all I know, he might _actually know_ how hard itā€™s going to be. After all, the friend who he has moved in with is a year older and is living on his own, working two jobs to pay the rent. Kyleā€™s not blind. He has just decided that he doesnā€™t want his mom for a roommate anymore. I wish him luck, and have left the door open if he wants to live with me and go to college. > [@Jess](#): > > I donā€™t know **Anita** But we _have met_: At RTFireflyā€™s going away cookout for the Bluesclan! ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/94 "2004-07-24T19:30:29Z")
> [@](#): > > But we _have met_: At RTFireflyā€™s going away cookout for the Bluesclan! Well, yes, I should have specified. I _meant_ that, while weā€™ve met, I donā€™t know you as a mom, or know anything about your relationship with your boy ā€“ we didnā€™t talk about our kids when we met. But I was just in a hurry to get on to my own story, so I used an abbreviated version. Really. Red-faced Jess (who really does remember meeting you know that you reminded her šŸ˜ƒ ) ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/95 "2004-07-24T20:57:36Z")
I read the OP, got the humor and laughed. It surprises me sometimes when these things take a turn like this one did. _Of course_ you didnā€™t abandon your child! _Of course_ there had to be backstory here. Please donā€™t let the snark put you off telling funnies in the future! I enjoy them. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/96 "2004-07-24T21:11:24Z")
Too many humor-impaired people in this thread. I suspected it was a joke from start, just the wording did it. I remember when I was a kids my momā€™s favorite threat used to be ā€œsomeday youā€™ll come back from school and wonā€™t find me hereā€. Funny thing is now I think that we actually deserved it. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/97 "2004-07-24T23:58:48Z")
Iā€™m not a parent, I donā€™t know **Anita** , and I donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever seen one of her posts before. And I _still_ got that it was a joke right off that bat. I meanā€¦ how can you _not_? šŸ˜• ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/98 "2004-07-25T00:41:59Z")
Being a college student who is living with my parents for the summer, before I return to school in the fall, the idea of my parents shipping out on me one day sounds kind of like everybodyā€™s nightmare and fantasy all rolled into one. I still rely on my parents for financial support for what my job and my scholarships canā€™t pay for, but I love feeling independent by living in a city 100 miles away from them during the school year and operating on my own for the most part. Very liberating. I really enjoyed **Triskadecamus** ā€™s story, too. Thanks for sharing! ---
**Author:** ![Caprese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Caprese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caprese)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/99 "2004-07-25T00:46:21Z")
As the mother of a 21 year old college student home for the summer, and also as an ex-college student, I agree with **Searching For Truthā€™s** fantasy/nightmare opinion. I dunno, didnā€™t think it was that funny at first, but then began giggling. When soon school rolls back around, Iā€™ll miss the kid, but neither the laundry nor the dirty dishes. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538/100 "2004-07-25T05:31:10Z")
Everyone here comes from a different family. Some of you are reacting with horror; had this happend in your family, it might well \*have \* been horrible. I am from a family where this kind of thing needs to happen. Coming from such a family, I can more readily imagine a situation in which Iā€™d cheer Anita on for her actions; those of you with different experiences should acknowledge those differences rather than slam her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nineteen-year-old-son-went-to-the-beach-and-while-he-was-gone-i-moved-away/256538.md?page=6)