# My nipples itch. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743 "2003-07-07T11:43:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/1 "2003-07-07T11:43:20Z")
Damn poison ivy. ---
**Author:** ![1ofthegulls](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/bcef8e/32.png) [@1ofthegulls](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1ofthegulls)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/2 "2003-07-07T11:47:02Z")
Scratch them šŸ˜ƒ Did your holiday weekend have you rolling around in the poison ivy? ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/3 "2003-07-07T11:55:41Z")
Iā€™m sure you have an excellent reason for rubbing poison ivy on your nipples. I canā€™t imaginge what it might be, but Iā€™m sure you have one. Thanks for the mental image of you walking around shirtless with two pink dots of calamine lotion on your chest. ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/4 "2003-07-07T11:59:31Z")
Possible Reason #1: Someone switched your shower lotion with poison ivy? ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/5 "2003-07-07T12:06:00Z")
Iā€™m sure it was the squirrelsā€¦ they snuck in to Castle Welby in the middle of the night with two leaves of poison ivy and rubbed them on Welbyā€™s nipples! ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/6 "2003-07-07T12:13:10Z")
You know an allergic reaction to poison ivy can cause swelling and the additional aggravation of the skin cause by the subsequent itching can cause even more swellingā€¦ \*\*welby[/], is there something else you need to get off your chest? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/7 "2003-07-07T12:43:55Z")
Somehow, I didnā€™t expect to come back from vacation, only to be confronted with **welby** ā€™s nipples. Iā€™m sorry - I canā€™t deal with thisā€¦ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/8 "2003-07-07T14:01:25Z")
Aw greatā€¦ One little psychosomatic suggestion, and there I go. I may have to change bras! ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/9 "2003-07-07T14:04:57Z")
I was doing yard work, mainly copping down green living things because they offend me. I want only dead and dying things cluttering up my yard. Makes the whole place less appetizing to squirrels. It was hot, so I exposed my nipples to the air (took off my shirt) and when I was taking a load of green things that I had chopped down to the trash bin I failed to notice that some of the green stuff was poison ivy. Iā€™m terribly allergic to the stuff. Now my nipples are all swollen and itchy. I hate poison ivy. HATE IT. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/10 "2003-07-07T14:23:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by welby \* > **I was doing yard work** Yard work? Is that what weā€™re calling it these days? šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/11 "2003-07-07T15:37:05Z")
Great idea, **Welby** , darling, telling everyone you have _poison ivy_ (wink, wink), but I think **AngelicGemma** is on to us. I promise to be more gentle next time! šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/12 "2003-07-08T01:43:13Z")
Is there anybody but me out there who doesnā€™t feel the least bit sorry for this dope? Your biggest problem here, buddy, is that you just donā€™t Pay Attention. Thatā€™s how the squirrels got into your house. You are guilty of a Lack Of Vigilance. And Vigilance is what maintains our liberty. Goof. If you bring up the episode with the bats, Iā€™m going to have to slap you. Because that was completely different. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/13 "2003-07-08T03:13:12Z")
would you like a job doing weekend gardening, **welby**? ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/14 "2003-07-08T10:47:25Z")
Normally when nipples itch is cos youā€™re hornyā€¦ Or pregnant and theyā€™re growingā€¦ Have any calomine lotion? If not, work a bit of honey into oatmeal until thick - no, not for lunch - and dob on the affected area. Jewelweed extract from an herbal store is meant to relieve it overnight. More fantastic ideas from the [Poison Ivy, Oak and Sumac Information Center](http://poisonivy.aesir.com/view/cures.html). If it gets really bad you may need to see a GP. Now, pardon me whilst I go itch my nipsā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/15 "2003-07-08T11:35:20Z")
Look, **Ex** old pal, Iā€™m as vigilant as the next guy whoā€™s been working in the 90+ degree highly humid NOVA envoirnment for 5 or 6 hours. Which is to say, of course, not very. And the squirrels, as Iā€™ve pointed out before, were let into the house by my traitor of a daughter, who left her window open. The bats are hardly a different story, my ā€œvigilantā€ friend. Just so you know, my swollen, itchy nipples are now covered in calamine lotion, and Iā€™m taking an antihistamine. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/16 "2003-07-08T11:40:21Z")
Iā€™m trying to understand how you just got the poison on your nipples and nowhere else. Are they so prominent that they stuck out into the poison patch, while the rest of your chestal region remained clear? :eek: Maybe the next time you decide to work in the yard shirtless, you should consider pastiesā€¦ No, I donā€™t think that would undermine your masculinity. Seriously. Itā€™d be fine. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/17 "2003-07-08T11:44:52Z")
_Itā€™s gonna take an ocean Of calamine-a lotionā€¦_ ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/18 "2003-07-08T13:36:48Z")
My nipples explode with delight! ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/19 "2003-07-08T13:40:34Z")
Itā€™s not just on my nipples, FCM, but they are definitely the part that itch the most. Iā€™m not going to mention that Iā€™m wearing little round band-aids on my nipples to keep the chafing down, because that would be embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743/20 "2003-07-08T14:49:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by welby \* > ā€¦ Iā€™m not going to mention that Iā€™m wearing little round band-aids on my nipples to keep the chafing down, because that would be embarrassing. :eek: ::claw:: My eyes!! My eyes!! šŸ˜‰ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nipples-itch/186743.md?page=2)