# My Nomination For An IgNobel **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 27, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393 "2006-06-27T20:45:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/21 "2006-06-29T03:33:08Z")
> [@Squink](#): > > Agreed, a keypad would suck in a pinch. Why not just incorporate a retinal scanner into the barrel? -Take a quick look down it, and the firing pin moves into armed position. > > :smack: my eye, MY EYE!!! I have a mental image of a pistol that requires a nuclear-launch-sequence type of procedure to fire – two keys, a few authentication codes, the whole nine yards. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/22 "2006-06-29T05:43:51Z")
> [@Steve MB](#): > > OK, so it’s either totally impractical (if you forget the weekly reset before you need the gun) or it totally fails to serve any useful purpose (if you did enter the weekly password reset, the gun can be accidentally or improperly used just as if this goofball invention had never been installed). Actually, I can see this being an effective way to keep stolen guns from being useful to the thief. You know, effective, if impractical, prohibitively expensive, practically uneforceable, and generally silly. But that is one purpose it would serve, until someone figures out a quick and dirty method to disable the password-protect on the gun. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/23 "2006-06-29T11:25:50Z")
Personally, I get far more amusement from the concept of spoofing the ammo. See, you pretty much have to let the code be the final trigger to set it off, nothing mechanical can be allowed. So… how does it know what order to fire the bullets in the clip in? What if you bombard a police station with white noise? How powerful a transmitter does Captain Midnight need before he blows all the ammo? Contrawise, why not just EMP the cops and disarm them? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/24 "2006-06-29T11:32:09Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > Actually, I can see this being an effective way to keep stolen guns from being useful to the thief. You know, effective, if impractical, prohibitively expensive, practically uneforceable, and generally silly. But that is one purpose it would serve, until someone figures out a quick and dirty method to disable the password-protect on the gun. I think this is what it’s for. I’m not saying it’s the bestest idea evar; I’m just saying that it’s not nearly so dumb as the OP describes it. YOu’re not typing the password in a “self-defense situation”: you’re typing it ahead of time. That’s the only point I’m making–and **UncleBeer** , as someone who has come into plenty of threads to correct errors in the OP (usually with a lot of cussin), you above all ought to appreciate that! Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/25 "2006-06-29T12:48:30Z")
> [@Sage Rat](#): > > Using biometrics (specifically a fingerprint) wouldn’t be terribly bad if, say, there was a mini-reader on the back of the gun. You would at least not need to worry that your kids would find the gun and accidentally shoot themselves. The computer I got in my last job came with biometrics, specifically fingerprints. It didn’t work for 5 days of the month… I’ll let y’all figure out which 5 and yes, I’m female. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/26 "2006-06-29T13:21:58Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > It didn’t work for 5 days of the month… I’ll let y’all figure out which 5 and yes, I’m female. :smack: On the plus side, now you know that it’s probably safe for you to glovelessly commit heinous crimes and misdemeanors on those days. If a setpiece scanner can’t recognize the fingers themselves, the FBI’ll never figure out who you are just from the prints. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/27 "2006-06-29T15:04:38Z")
> [@wolf\_meister](#): > > **Uncle Beer** > > Yes, but let’s make sure we add just a little bit more to that security. > Perhaps the _key_ to the gun lock could be secured in a wall safe that required password entry, fingerprint identification, retinal scans, etc. Or maybe the key could be single-use. Every time you wanna open the lock again, you gotta get a notarized approval from your local chief of police and send it off to the lock manufacturer to get a new key sent to you by certified mail - in a kevlar envelope. And you need to show an FOID card to retrieve that letter from the post office. And proof of personal liability insurance. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/28 "2006-06-29T15:06:07Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > Actually, I can see this being an effective way to keep stolen guns from being useful to the thief. You know, effective, if impractical, prohibitively expensive, practically uneforceable, and generally silly. But that is one purpose it would serve, until someone figures out a quick and dirty method to disable the password-protect on the gun. And wouldn’t do one damn thing for the 200 million plus guns already in circulation in the U.S. Guns that have a useful service life around a hundred years. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/29 "2006-06-29T15:09:05Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > IThat’s the only point I’m making–and **UncleBeer** , as someone who has come into plenty of threads to correct errors in the OP (usually with a lot of cussin), you above all ought to appreciate that! Oh, I _do_ appreciate and understand your point. I appreciate its stupidity and understand it ain’t workable. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/30 "2006-06-29T15:19:49Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > There’s already a pretty effective method for assuring your kids don’t accidently shoot themselves, or their friends. It’s called a gun lock. In fact, the gun lock, and the obvious other methods available to prevent accidental shootings of children, have been so effective, that there are less than about a dozen fatal shootings of children by children each year in the United States. Well sure, but you’re probably not including kids up to 19 years old and you’re also ignoring those who get involved in gangs and those who commit suicide. What else are you ignoring, **UncleBeer**? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/31 "2006-06-29T15:31:01Z")
[quote=What else are you ignoring, UncleBeer?] Heh. Anything and everything which doesn’t fit into my point of view so conveniently. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/32 "2006-06-29T17:38:12Z")
> [@Steve MB](#): > > I have a mental image of a pistol that requires a nuclear-launch-sequence type of procedure to fire – two keys, a few authentication codes, the whole nine yards. This is a great idea. The second key, of course, is held by the person you are going to shoot. Shooter: “C’mon, man, give me your key.” Target: “No way.” Shooter: “I really need it.” Target: “Not gonna happen.” Shooter: “Dude…” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/33 "2006-06-29T20:58:56Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > Oh, I _do_ appreciate and understand your point. I appreciate its stupidity and understand it ain’t workable. You understand the stupidity of my point? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/34 "2006-06-29T22:29:02Z")
I can see the advantage of the biometric thing, if it’s cost effective and reliable. Key _my_ fingerprints to _my_ gun. If it ain’t me, the trigger doesn’t work and the gun doesn’t fire. But what’s up with the “keyed ammunition”? The biometric thing would work great as a simple trigger lock, preventing gun operation by anyone but the owner. Keying ammunition to a single gun gets you … what? As someone said upthread, I can’t think of anything this gets you over a trigger lock. A new, improved, biometric-based trigger lock, but a trigger lock all the same. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/35 "2006-06-29T23:03:21Z")
Oh noes, now the geeks will finally have incentive to become violent… “Give me all your USB cords, or I’ll have to \ use my TI-89 with firewire Tech 9 attachment” ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/36 "2006-06-30T00:57:44Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > The biometric thing would work great as a simple trigger lock, preventing gun operation by anyone but the owner. Keying ammunition to a single gun gets you … what? As someone said upthread, I can’t think of anything this gets you over a trigger lock. A new, improved, biometric-based trigger lock, but a trigger lock all the same. The whole aproach to gun safety are very simple rules. They work if you follow them. Adding complexity and a completly new and different electronic system to a simple tool that already does exatly what it is supposed to do is an invatation to failure. Re: the biometric trigger lock. What if I have a cut on my finger? What if my hands are dirty? What if I’ve been sanding drywall all day on Saturday and I want to relax and go do some target shooting on Sunday? What if I burned my finger on the stove, campfire or cigar? What if I fell off my bike and scraped my finger? What if I have a piece of dog or cat hair on my finger? It’s all bullshit my friends. Anti-gun folks refuse to learn anything about guns and believe that anything that makes it harder, or more expensive to use a gun is a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/37 "2006-07-02T05:52:18Z")
I’m surprised no-one’s tried to develop a gun like the ones seen in the movie _Westworld_- they’ve got a heat sensor under the barrel, and if they detect body heat, the gun won’t fire. Sure, totally useless for self-defence (and hunting), but there are _plenty_ of gun owners all over the world who have never fired their gun anywhere except a shooting range, don’t feel the need to keep a gun in the house for self-defence, and don’t go hunting. Certainly, you’d think there would be a potential market- at least enough to make some prototypes… ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393/38 "2006-07-02T11:24:39Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > I can see the advantage of the biometric thing, if it’s cost effective and reliable. Key _my_ fingerprints to _my_ gun. If it ain’t me, the trigger doesn’t work and the gun doesn’t fire. Nor will it work if the batteries go dead. How many of us regularly check the batteries in things we keep stashed for emergencies? And just because they work today, doesn’t mean they won’t go flat tomorrow. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-nomination-for-an-ignobel/362393.md?page=1)