# My OCD flatmate makes me check his car's windows **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2016, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875 "2016-04-11T10:38:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/41 "2016-04-12T19:53:38Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > How is your butt? Is your butt raw? You should have your OCD flatmate check your butt for you. OP is in Australia so [this link is very relevant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpC1vAlBULg) and may explain the rawness. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/42 "2016-04-12T21:37:45Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > …You said he “hears voices”. That’s not a symptom of OCD. That’s a symptom of more severe mental illness. The type that really, really needs professional help. If he’s not getting it, then all 4 (yes, 4) of you are letting this guy down… He has schizophrenia as well but I just mentioned OCD because that is related to the car windows. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/43 "2016-04-12T21:49:57Z")
If you don’t want to check his windows but feel compelled to comply with is compulsion to have someone check his windows, the least you should do is line up some funding to pay your wife to check his windows on your behalf for his behalf. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/44 "2016-04-13T04:05:21Z")
As noted by others hearing voices is getting into serious mental illness territory well beyond just OCD. I’m a large , strong guy but there is no way on God’s Green Earth I would be sleeping and vulnerable in the same house with someone who is hearing voices if they take it into their head to listen to what the voices are telling them to do. If this is a for real post he needs professional help ASAP not someone enabling his dysfunction. I think you are being oblivious to the risk involved in this. People mentally ill enough to be hearing voices are a physical risk. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/45 "2016-04-13T04:41:38Z")
> [@astro](#): > > As noted by others hearing voices is getting into serious mental illness territory well beyond just OCD. I’m a large , strong guy but there is no way on God’s Green Earth I would be sleeping and vulnerable in the same house with someone who is hearing voices if they take it into their head to listen to what the voices are telling them to do. If this is a for real post he needs professional help ASAP not someone enabling his dysfunction. > > I think you are being oblivious to the risk involved in this. People mentally ill enough to be hearing voices are a physical risk. While I think that the OP should fix his living situation ASAP, this sounds like spreading urban legends about schizophrenia to me. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/46 "2016-04-13T05:35:00Z")
Hey, John Clay, Just a question: Is this a regular apartment or some sort of half-way house for people with mental disorders? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/47 "2016-04-13T05:37:58Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > My flatmate has OCD and asks me to check his car’s windows 2-3 times each to see if they’re wound up by getting me to touch them with my finger. He says his wife and the other flatmate no longer will do it. His wife’s friend refused to do it too. I said I was watching TV but he said to do it. I haven’t tried putting my foot down too firmly. In the past he’s said I’m a “good man”. For the time being giving up a minute of my time every now and then is ok even though it might not be good for his OCD. Tell him you’ve licked them each time you do it. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/48 "2016-04-13T06:02:10Z")
Windows are up. But the battery is leaking. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/49 "2016-04-13T06:36:57Z")
Well I tried to tell him that checking his windows would encourage his OCD. He said that if it was a problem he would be asking me 5 times a day and he only asks me once. I said that other people don’t do it. He said that my wife is too lazy and his wife is pregnant and is scared of getting stung by a bee again. He said twice that if it was a problem he would be asking 5 times a day. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/50 "2016-04-13T06:46:48Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Hey, John Clay, Just a question: Is this a regular apartment or some sort of half-way house for people with mental disorders? Well three of the four of us have mental illnesses (my wife has schizophrenia and anxiety - the brother’s wife is paid to be his carer [he has OCD and schizophrenia] - I have schizoaffective disorder) and four of their sisters have mental illnesses. They also have an adopted brother who is a millionaire. I used to live in public housing for a while but if I wanted a public housing flat with my wife it would have only been one bedroom. Now I’m paying less rent and we are sharing a four bedroom two-storey house. Before that I was living in a place for people with mental illnesses that had nurses on stand-by. Because of that I got public housing much quicker than normal. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/51 "2016-04-13T09:44:31Z")
If you don’t want to do this activity, I suggest you do what his wife and your wife do, and just say ‘no’. See how easy that was? But, then, you haven’t actually said anything about not wanting to continue to be his window checker so, well, just carry on and enjoy it. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/52 "2016-04-13T10:12:21Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > If you don’t want to do this activity, I suggest you do what his wife and your wife do, and just say ‘no’. See how easy that was? > > But, then, you haven’t actually said anything about not wanting to continue to be his window checker so, well, just carry on and enjoy it. In post 49 I mentioned how I tried to get out of doing it though I didn’t just say “no”. It doesn’t annoy me much though… it just feels silly trying to convince him that I checked them properly by touching it multiple times. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/53 "2016-04-13T10:43:37Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > They also have an adopted brother who is a millionaire Wait, what? You can adopt a millionaire? Is this just available in Australia, or can anyone do it? Hook a brother up, man. I have so much love to share. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/54 "2016-04-13T11:06:56Z")
Tried to get out the of it? But haven’t tried saying ‘no’? Which has clearly worked for the other two flat mates? Colour us not surprised! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/55 "2016-04-13T11:16:44Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Well three of the four of us have mental illnesses (my wife has schizophrenia and anxiety - the brother’s wife is paid to be his carer [he has OCD and schizophrenia] - I have schizoaffective disorder) and four of their sisters have mental illnesses. They also have an adopted brother who is a millionaire. I used to live in public housing for a while but if I wanted a public housing flat with my wife it would have only been one bedroom. Now I’m paying less rent and we are sharing a four bedroom two-storey house. Before that I was living in a place for people with mental illnesses that had nurses on stand-by. Because of that I got public housing much quicker than normal. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how civilized countries handle disabling mental health issues in the public at large. Rather than the US method of simply encouraging them to live in cardboard boxes someplace other than my town. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/56 "2016-04-13T17:02:19Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > the brother’s wife is paid to be his carer [he has OCD and schizophrenia] I don’t think it counts if she’s getting paid. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/57 "2016-07-08T05:02:31Z")
Well it’s been getting worse. Sometimes I have to do the routine a few times a day. And he makes me tap on each window (alternating from front to back door windows) more times. I don’t want to get in a big argument with him so I can’t stop checking his windows. He sometimes has a weird idea of what is inappropriate though. We were cleaning up for a flat inspection and he planned on getting takeaway for dinner. Some relatives were visiting to drop off some soup. I asked him if he had told them that he plans on getting take away. He said to not tell them because it would “hurt their feelings” (since they would assume he’d be eating the soup for dinner). ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/58 "2016-07-08T05:46:00Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > He sometimes has a weird idea of what is inappropriate though. We were cleaning up for a flat inspection and he planned on getting takeaway for dinner. Some relatives were visiting to drop off some soup. I asked him if he had told them that he plans on getting take away. He said to not tell them because it would “hurt their feelings” (since they would assume he’d be eating the soup for dinner). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all. Some people would indeed full hurt or at least put out if they were told, “no thanks, I’m going out for dinner.” I mean, can’t he just put the soup in the fridge and eat it later? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/59 "2016-07-08T05:46:25Z")
I’ll just let the Johnny if Christmas past do the talking here. > [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > In all seriousness, you are feeding a sickness. You are contributing to a person’s illness. > > **You are making your flatmate more sick and you need to stop. You are hurting him. You are not being a good friend. Stop doing what you are doing. You are not helping him. Stop doing what you are doing. Stop doing what you are doing.** ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/60 "2016-07-08T06:19:04Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all. Some people would indeed full hurt or at least put out if they were told, “no thanks, I’m going out for dinner.” I mean, can’t he just put the soup in the fridge and eat it later? Yes he put it in the fridge for later. I just think it is dishonest giving them the impression that he was going to eat it for his dinner. I thought saying something like “thanks for the soup. I’ll have it for lunch tomorrow because I’ve got plans to go out for takeaway tonight.” I think it is similar to how my mum keeps giving my wife bananas but my wife never eats them and won’t tell her that she doesn’t eat them. They just end up going off and then being thrown away. BTW the people who might have their feelings hurt have an adult son who used to have porn lying around when they visited him and now they don’t have any TV reception because their worried their son might be tempted to watch shows with nudity or sex. They could handle someone saying they already have plans for dinner. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875.md?page=4)