# My OCD flatmate makes me check his car's windows **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2016, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875 "2016-04-11T10:38:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/61 "2016-07-08T11:07:14Z")
Tonight I asked my flatmate why there was blood on the back of his hands. He said it was from washing his hands too much. That’s the first time I’ve heard of him compulsively washing his hands. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/62 "2016-07-08T13:56:54Z")
“No” is an extremely useful word, learning to use it (repeatedly if necessary) can improve your life immensely. ---
**Author:** ![OffByOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/45deac/32.png) [@OffByOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OffByOne)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/63 "2016-07-08T14:37:25Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > How much do you charge to check the windows? Hint: it isn’t enough. Raise your rates every time he asks. That way, you get to find out how much it is worth to him: 1. State your rate. 2. Raise your rate. 3. Profit. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/64 "2016-07-08T15:19:06Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Well it’s been getting worse. Sometimes I have to do the routine a few times a day. And he makes me tap on each window (alternating from front to back door windows) more times. I don’t want to get in a big argument with him so I can’t stop checking his windows. God, you’re a pathetic doormat. Why do you even post here about this? You’re not going to do what needs to be done. NO! It’s a good word. Learn it. Live it. Love it! If that doesn’t work, if he contunes his insane demands on you, you can progress through “hell, no”, “Fuck no!” and “get the fuck out of here, you dumb fuck!”. Use as required. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/65 "2016-07-08T15:54:08Z")
Your post was way out of line for MPSIMS. Calling John Clay a “pathetic doormat” is unacceptable and insults like that should be reserved for the Pit. > [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > God, you’re a pathetic doormat. Why do you even post here about this? You’re not going to do what needs to be done. > > NO! It’s a good word. Learn it. Live it. Love it! > > If that doesn’t work, if he contunes his insane demands on you, you can progress through “hell, no”, “Fuck no!” and “get the fuck out of here, you dumb fuck!”. Use as required. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/66 "2016-07-08T16:35:18Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Your post was way out of line for MPSIMS. Calling John Clay a “pathetic doormat” is unacceptable and insults like that should be reserved for the Pit. I’m sorry. I forgot which forum I was in. Mea cupla. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/67 "2016-07-08T17:15:41Z")
At least give the fellow some validation by occasionally finding something when you check the windows. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/68 "2016-07-08T17:30:40Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I don’t want to get in a big argument with him so I can’t stop checking his windows. In that case, what is your reason for posting about this? Are you hoping that one of us will come up with a way - one that won’t start an argument with your flatmate - for you to get out of this chore? Or did you just want to get some frustration off your chest (that’s OK, too). As several others have already mentioned, if you just want to get out of checking the windows, you’re going to have to say “No” and accept that you and your flatmate will argue over this for a while. You mentioned that your flatmate has been asking you to check the windows more frequently lately, and that he’s been washing his hands until they bleed. That suggests that his illness is getting worse. Does he have a caseworker or some other trusted professional who you could tell? That person might be able to persuade him to see a doctor to be re-evaluated and determine if he needs adjustments to medication (or to start taking medication)/lifestyle/etc. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/69 "2016-07-08T17:31:03Z")
I say John Clay learns mime and tells his flatmate he can’t get out of the box to go check the windows. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/70 "2016-07-08T17:36:57Z")
Unless it is a Nissan Cube. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/71 "2016-07-08T23:58:10Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > In that case, what is your reason for posting about this? Are you hoping that one of us will come up with a way - one that won’t start an argument with your flatmate - for you to get out of this chore? Or did you just want to get some frustration off your chest (that’s OK, too). Just to get a bit of frustration off of my chest. > [@](#): > > As several others have already mentioned, if you just want to get out of checking the windows, you’re going to have to say “No” and accept that you and your flatmate will argue over this for a while. I’ve already tried that before. He basically says that he needs me to do it and that it isn’t hard for me to do. > [@](#): > > You mentioned that your flatmate has been asking you to check the windows more frequently lately, and that he’s been washing his hands until they bleed. That suggests that his illness is getting worse. Does he have a caseworker or some other trusted professional who you could tell? That person might be able to persuade him to see a doctor to be re-evaluated and determine if he needs adjustments to medication (or to start taking medication)/lifestyle/etc. Like me he sees a doctor every 4 weeks. I don’t think he likes to talk about OCD with the doctor. He is on medication for schizophrenia (he hears voices a lot). He is often difficult to talk to once he’s made up his mind about something. He often says I’m a “good man” though which I like. He made me clean a lot of his area and do weeding for the flat inspection and I disliked doing that much more than the windows. But his excuse was that his unwell pregnant wife is in hospital so he needs extra help. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/72 "2016-07-09T00:20:56Z")
Maybe the main reason I post about this is because I think it is an unusual situation. I wonder what people that might see us checking the windows think. His wife will give birth soon. I wonder if the window checking will continue when the child gets old enough to know what’s going on. Maybe the child might develop some weird habits from watching his father. > [@Muffin](#): > > At least give the fellow some validation by occasionally finding something when you check the windows. Well the purpose is to see if the windows are open. It would be hard for me to make the windows open… ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/73 "2016-07-09T01:42:09Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I’ve already tried that before. He basically says that he needs me to do it and that it isn’t hard for me to do. If it isn’t hard for you, it isn’t hard for him. NO! Lather, rinse repeat, until it takes. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/74 "2016-07-09T02:44:32Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I’ve already tried that before. He basically says that he needs me to do it and that it isn’t hard for me to do. Clearly you didn’t. Say ‘no’ initially, keep repeating the word every time he tries to argue, and you will be done checking windows. MANIPULATORS HATE THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/75 "2016-07-09T04:59:48Z")
[What would Nancy do?](http://psmu-01.atmocdn.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/1261/2015/05/just-say-no-nancy-reagan.png) [What would a chill-ass lemur say?](http://creatememe.chucklesnetwork.com/memes/130806/bro-just-say-no/) ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/76 "2016-07-09T07:17:33Z")
John’s been a member of this board for many years now, and as a community we’ve either tried to encourage him in his quest for mental health, or derided his attempts in various ways. THIS thread though has me scratching my chin as to whether John is REALLY sincere, or whether he’s yanking our collective chains. I’m tending towards the latter, especially when he resurrects an otherwise dying thread to add more scintillating stuff to pique our interest. YMMV of course, so have at it Dopers. Slog yer’ guts out. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![12mgdaily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/f08c70/32.png) [@12mgdaily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/12mgdaily)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/77 "2016-07-09T08:27:51Z")
I used to have a job where I worked with patients who had various mental, emotional problems. People with OCD generally don’t trust anyone but themselves to do things a particular way they want them done. Your flatmate may have OCD, but I tend to think this sounds more like another emotional disorder. I know of one disorder where an individual constantly asks loved ones, friends and neighbors to do things for them. These requests are a bit strange and out of the ordinary. These people tend to go to extremes when trying to find out if their request was followed through. I wouldn’t be surprised if your flatmate spies on you to see if you check the window. Their requests are never ending. You will never be able to satisfy his need. He expects everyone he knows to do little favors for him… constantly. He needs mental health professionals to work with him. So for your own sanity, get a voice and learn how to say the word “No”. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/78 "2016-07-09T09:17:56Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > …THIS thread though has me scratching my chin as to whether John is REALLY sincere, or whether he’s yanking our collective chains. > > I’m tending towards the latter, especially when he resurrects an otherwise dying thread to add more scintillating stuff to pique our interest… As far as I can remember I have NEVER lied on a messageboard. Though maybe sometimes I am a bit TOO honest. (I assume that “yanking your chain” means I’m not being honest). It is true there have been some scintillating new developments… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/79 "2016-07-09T09:49:03Z")
This just happened… “help me with the windows…” “if your child was 10 years old, would you still get me to help you with the windows?” “no because my wife would no longer be pregnant. She would be able to help me with the windows” So things are looking up… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/80 "2016-07-09T09:54:06Z")
> [@12mgdaily](#): > > I used to have a job where I worked with patients who had various mental, emotional problems. People with OCD generally don’t trust anyone but themselves to do things a particular way they want them done. If OCD people trusted themselves why do they do things like wash their hands too much? > [@](#): > > Your flatmate may have OCD, but I tend to think this sounds more like another emotional disorder. I know of one disorder where an individual constantly asks loved ones, friends and neighbors to do things for them. These requests are a bit strange and out of the ordinary. These people tend to go to extremes when trying to find out if their request was followed through. I wouldn’t be surprised if your flatmate spies on you to see if you check the window. Actually he always has to be present. If I start to tap the windows when he isn’t ready he says “wait!”. After I’ve done it a few times he says “ok”. > [@](#): > > Their requests are never ending. You will never be able to satisfy his need. He expects everyone he knows to do little favors for him… constantly. He needs mental health professionals to work with him. So for your own sanity, get a voice and learn how to say the word “No”. Well I can satisfy his need for a few hours or a day at the time after doing something that takes about a minute [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875.md?page=5)