# My OCD flatmate makes me check his car's windows **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2016, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875 "2016-04-11T10:38:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/81 "2016-07-09T10:25:29Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Well I can satisfy his need for a few hours or a day at the time after doing something that takes about a minute And then this happens: > [@JohnClay](#): > > He made me clean a lot of his area and do weeding for the flat inspection and I disliked doing that much more than the windows. Learn to say, “No.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/82 "2016-07-09T10:57:44Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > It would be hard for me to make the windows open… Not really. Depending on the age of the vehicle there is either a switch on the armrest and the key fob or cranks on the inside of the doors. Not at all complicated, like turning on the AC. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/83 "2016-07-09T23:35:16Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Not really. Depending on the age of the vehicle there is either a switch on the armrest and the key fob or cranks on the inside of the doors. Not at all complicated, like turning on the AC. When we come down from the house to check the windows the car is locked… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/84 "2016-07-09T23:39:12Z")
BTW if any windows were open (I think they were once) it would make him want to check even more thoroughly or regularly that they’re closed. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2016, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/85 "2016-07-10T03:10:47Z")
Well when he asks me to buy him beer I am able to say no and often when he asks me to come with him to the bakery and buy him a pie or a sausage roll I say no. ---
**Author:** ![Common\_Tater](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/common_tater/32/13846_2.png) [@Common\_Tater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Common_Tater)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2016, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/86 "2016-07-10T03:56:37Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > You ever consider putting all his windows down, just to fuck with him? LOL ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2016, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/87 "2016-07-10T04:04:34Z")
Well the back of his hands are back to normal so he hasn’t been washing his hands much lately. The problem before was that he had to clean up his pig sty for the inspection and he is worried about hygiene (he usually puts on gloves when cleaning, etc) ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2016, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/88 "2016-07-13T06:22:35Z")
My wife was talking about her visit to a psychologist for her anxiety. The flatmate has been getting her to check the radiator overflow everyday. The psychologist said she should say that she only wants to check it twice a week at the most. Last night she and the flatmate got into a big argument about a favour he wanted - he tells her to come downstairs but doesn’t say why. She asked why and he got annoyed with her attitude and they argued about each other’s attitude, etc, and she left the house. I’ll see if she is able to cut the overflow checking to two days a week. It might involve a big argument. After arguments she often says sorry and gives in. The psychologist asked if the flatmate tells the doctor (we all see every 4 weeks) about his OCD and she said that he doesn’t mention it. He hasn’t even told the doctor his wife is 7 months pregnant! I can’t remember why he doesn’t want to tell the doctor about that. Maybe he doesn’t want the doctor sticking his nose into it. (the wife doesn’t see our doctor, just the 3 of us who are on an anti-psychotic called clozapine/clozaril/clopine) ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2016, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/89 "2016-07-13T09:21:26Z")
Hmmm ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/90 "2016-07-16T02:38:08Z")
I was talking to my flatmate and said that the “overflow” (for the radiator) didn’t need to be checked every day and he said that he only checks it every three days. Then he asked me to check it today. He said it is only 3 minutes of my time. He drove down the road because he said where he normally parks it isn’t level. He put in the water and asked me to verify that there was enough water in it. Then he asked me to check the cap/lid for the water section. I touched it and said it was on properly. Then he asked me again but I didn’t want to check it again but he got me to anyway. Then he got me to check it a third and a fourth time. After that he asked if it was “one billion percent” checked. I said it was. At least he doesn’t want a trillion percent certainty… when we got home he got me to do the “windies” again. His pregnant wife is probably having a caesarian in a couple hours. She’s been in faraway hospital for a week or two (due to pregnancy complications) but he hasn’t visited her yet. But he’ll probably visit her tomorrow, going down for the day with her father and his newish wife. Also though he has OCD (and schizophrenia) his car is really dirty inside and out. Though we get him to wash my wife’s nice car for $15. Also today during the grocery shopping he bought 2 six packs of soap… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/91 "2016-07-16T02:46:48Z")
He just got me to come downstairs and asked “is that empty?” (his little plastic container he puts his ashes from smoking in) “It is definitely empty?” He’s worried the house will burn down from it because he was leaving the house. Also when we’re at the shops going back into the car he shows me the soles of his shoes and asks me if they’re on fire. He’s worried that ashes from his self-rolled cigarettes might cause his shoes to catch on fire. On the other hand his T-shirts and bed sheets have a lot of holes in them from ash falling on them. (also he has hardly any teeth due to them being rotted away and removed and he has permanent stains on his fingers from smoking) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/92 "2016-07-16T02:52:10Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Also though he has OCD (and schizophrenia) his car is really dirty inside and out. Though we get him to wash my wife’s nice car for $15. Also today during the grocery shopping he bought 2 six packs of soap… It’s a myth that OCD means one is always super-ultra neat and obsessed with germs. Not everyone with OCD is obsessed with germs. And fucking learn to say no, or quit bitching about it. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/93 "2016-07-16T03:21:07Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > It’s a myth that OCD means one is always super-ultra neat and obsessed with germs. Not everyone with OCD is obsessed with germs. He is obsessed with germs but messy. He gets upset if we put things on the wrong surface (related to germs). If cutlery falls on the floor he throws it in the bin. He gets me to take out the rubbish. > [@](#): > > And fucking learn to say no, or quit bitching about it. Well when talking about the lid/cap or checking the front door I do tell him I’ve done it already - sometimes I tell him twice… but I don’t feel like having an argument about it. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/94 "2016-07-16T03:29:30Z")
My flatmate got back home and got me to check the windies again. He said that his uncle is going now and he feels like doing a dance. He had argued with that uncle and said to me he can f\*\*\* off and that he is an asshole. His uncle and aunty were looking after my niece. (like all of the non-adopted siblings of my wife, the niece’s mother has a mental illness so her grandmother looks after her - but was overseas before). Though checking the windows is weird, I’d rather not become an enemy of my flatmate. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/95 "2016-07-16T03:42:08Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > > [@Guinastasia](#): > > > > And fucking learn to say no, or quit bitching about it. > > Well when talking about the lid/cap or checking the front door I do tell him I’ve done it already - sometimes I tell him twice… but I don’t feel like having an argument about it. You replied to **Guinastasia** ’s post in a somewhat lucid manor, which seems to imply that you read & comprehended it. Now, try following that _wonderful_ advice…please! Numerous people in _this_ thread have told you of a wonderfully appropriate, short (two letters, one syllable) response - **No**. This is a message board, not a blog (something else it’s been recommended that you start…_multiple_ times.) ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/96 "2016-07-16T04:01:54Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > …This is a message board, not a blog (something else it’s been recommended that you start…_multiple_ times.) I have already started a blog… though not on this topic. No one has ever commented on my blog since the first entry. I like getting feedback on this weird situation I’m in. I often end up following the advice I get on these forums… eventually. e.g. I did break up with my wife for a while after receiving overwhelming advice here to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/97 "2016-07-16T04:34:16Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > He just got me to come downstairs and asked “is that empty?” (his little plastic container he puts his ashes from smoking in) “It is definitely empty?” He’s worried the house will burn down from it because he was leaving the house. > Also when we’re at the shops going back into the car he shows me the soles of his shoes and asks me if they’re on fire. He’s worried that ashes from his self-rolled cigarettes might cause his shoes to catch on fire. On the other hand his T-shirts and bed sheets have a lot of holes in them from ash falling on them. (also he has hardly any teeth due to them being rotted away and removed and he has permanent stains on his fingers from smoking) And soon a newborn baby will come into this situation as well as a post-partum, first-time mom who’s had a major surgery and will be on restrictions physically, is that accurate? ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/98 "2016-07-16T04:38:19Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > My flatmate got back home and got me to check the windies again. He said that his uncle is going now and he feels like doing a dance. He had argued with that uncle and said to me he can f\*\*\* off and that he is an asshole. His uncle and aunty were looking after my niece. (like all of the non-adopted siblings of my wife, the niece’s mother has a mental illness so her grandmother looks after her - but was overseas before). My cat’s breath smells like cat food. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/99 "2016-07-16T04:55:25Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > And soon a newborn baby will come into this situation as well as a post-partum, first-time mom who’s had a major surgery and will be on restrictions physically, is that accurate? The issues were high blood pressure, low weight of the baby and only about 50% of the nutrients/blood coming to the baby. I heard my flatmate being worried when his wife recently said that she was eating cheese and crackers. Perhaps he was responsible for her getting huge including her arms and legs. I’m not sure exactly what operation she had about a week ago but now it is the caesarian. I think only her new obesity and blood pressure problems are the only physical restrictions. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875/100 "2016-07-16T05:37:31Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > …and that he is an asshole. Asshole? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ocd-flatmate-makes-me-check-his-cars-windows/751875.md?page=6)