# My October Movieline Column SUCKS . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2000, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224 "2000-09-06T14:07:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/21 "2000-09-06T17:39:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*Damn. I’m embarassed to admit I just NOW got the joke in her name. > > It’s my own fault for never having watched BEWITCHED reruns after the age of seven. \*\* Call me an idiot, but… Hey! At least wait until I’m out of the room! I don’t get the joke. Endora… Endora… Nope. Don’t get it. Or is it the Moorehead thing? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/22 "2000-09-06T17:40:22Z")
[sub]I still don’t get it, but I doubt if anybody is surprised[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/23 "2000-09-06T17:46:52Z")
get what? Did I miss something? Probably. ---
**Author:** ![Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Random)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/24 "2000-09-06T18:02:51Z")
Just got it too. For those who haven’t yet, it’s a reference to the Witch of Endor. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/25 "2000-09-06T18:03:01Z")
“Endora.” Witches of Endor. “Macbeth.” Now shall I explain the joke behind “Boris Badenov?” ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/26 "2000-09-06T18:06:31Z")
Actually, hon, the Witch of Endor was from the Bible. I think you’re thinking of the Thane of Cawdor. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/27 "2000-09-06T18:09:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*…Ever since my editor died last year, it’s been getting worse and worse at Movieline. \*\* I bet the smell is getting pretty bad, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/28 "2000-09-06T18:13:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*I gotta get ahold of the folks at Entertainment Weekly and Premiere and see if they wanna steal me away. Ever since my editor died last year, it’s been getting worse and worse at Movieline. \*\* Well, Eve, I don’t think that I have ever read one of your articles until the one above (but I could be wrong), so please don’t take this comment personally. I don’t like Movieline. I’m a huge fan of movies, I really am, but Movieline doesn’t seem like a movie magazine. Every issue I get articles about what the stars are wearing or how their hair is done or some equally mundane crap. If I’m getting a movie magazine, I want to read about movies, not fashion. If you get picked up by Premeire, I _guarantee_ that I’ll read your articles. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/29 "2000-09-06T18:14:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*Actually, hon, the Witch of Endor was from the Bible. I think you’re thinking of the Thane of Cawdor. \*\* Then there’s my wicked stepmother… she’s the witch of Endust. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/30 "2000-09-06T18:41:50Z")
I used to love Movieline back in the early 90s when Joe Queenan was a regular contributor and the Hollywood Kids would run blind items of nasty gossip. I will have to pick one up to read Eve’s column. BTW, what is your column’s name? ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/31 "2000-09-06T18:54:30Z")
Eve, I love your writing. I don’t know where to pick up Movieline or I’ve have read your columns before now. Hey, any copyright rules or whatever against your publishing your REAL unvivisected column in the new Straight Dope e-zine for all of us to read? Hope so! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/32 "2000-09-06T19:17:23Z")
Ike—I guess Bill Shakespeare stole from the bible, then, 'cause the three wtiches who open “Macbeth” are the Witches of Endor. Goboy-Don’t get me started on Joe Queenan. Will the editors let ME do any full-length humor pieces, which pay ten times what I make? “No, Joe writes all our feature pieces, dear.” Bastards. Pug—I wouldn’t recommend trying to find Movieline. My articles—as printed—suck. I’m getting packages off this weekend to Premiere, Tatler, and Harper’s & Queen, and will send something off to Esquire next week. Just have to find the right asses-to-be-kissed on the mastheads. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/33 "2000-09-06T19:21:14Z")
Eve, Do you own copyright, or does movieline? I’d wager that more than a few of use would like to see the unadulterated version. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/34 "2000-09-06T19:42:08Z")
Nah, they own the copyright. Which is a shame, as the stuff I send off to them is SO much better than the pap that winds up in print. I used to review movies for them, but they had to keep censoring me. I opened my review of “The Scarlet Letter” with, “Who’d have thought it possible for Bruce Willis to marry beneath himself?” They cut that and said, “We’ll never get interviews with either of them again!” They also got a call from Oliver Stone when I said his films have the same effect on me that they had on a friend’s five-year-old: I cry for awhile, then go to sleep. Since Movieline has been getting more advertsiers, they’re afraid of offending anybody . . . ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/35 "2000-09-06T20:34:33Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Eve_ > **the over-the-top campy Agnes Moorehead as Endora (how old were you when you first got the joke in her name?)** > [@](#): > > \*By Random \* > \*\*Just got it too. For those who haven’t yet, it’s a reference to the Witch of Endor. \*\* > [@](#): > > _By Eve_ > **"Endora." Witches of Endor. "Macbeth."** > > _and…_ > > **Bill Shakespeare stole from the bible, then, 'cause the three wtiches who open “Macbeth” are the Witches of Endor.** HA! Hahahahahahahahaha!!! Whooeeee!!! Hahahahahah… Wait a second. I still don’t get it. Is it one of those jokes that isn’t funny? Should I go back and read Macbeth? Are they just evil and then she’s just evil and so she is named after them, or is it something more? I don’t mean to be a pain in the ass, but if there’s one thing I just can’t stand, it’s a joke I don’t get. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/36 "2000-09-06T20:47:00Z")
Well, it’s not really fall-down-laffing funny—the point was just that the name “Endora” was a literary allusion. I might ADD that it was a throwaway line in my column, in parantheses and all. Turned out to be a real throwaway line—they cut it, of course . . . ---
**Author:** ![Kepi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kepi/32/7251_2.png) [@Kepi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kepi)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/37 "2000-09-06T21:38:38Z")
Great. I just subscribed to Movieline only so I could read your column. Now you wanna go and leave. What could I possibly want with an Eve-free Movieline? Wait…I checked the “Bill Me Later” option on the subscription form. Suckers. I’ll just read your column for free at Barnes & Noble until you make the jump. Where thou goest, I will follow. Mully said: > [@](#): > > I’ve gotta believe that all of your troubles stem from your continued nonuse of my name. I notice a conspicuous absence of my name as well. Come on, Eve. Throw us a bone. Seriously, I love your writing. It’s a shame we don’t get to experience the real deal. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/38 "2000-09-06T22:01:22Z")
C’mon Eve, just drop in a line like “dead chipmunk” or “here’s to all my friends at the SDMB” just to let us know that you’re thinking of us. They’d never edit that out. Now, if you could work goat felching into an article, that’d rock. (btw, what biographies did you write? I’d like to increase your next royalty check.) ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/39 "2000-09-07T01:09:10Z")
Sweetie Poopie-Doo, I hate to say this, but I’m home now, and I have the Big Shakespeare in my lap, and I’m dashed if I can find any reference in MACBETH to the Witch[es] of Endor…“Dramatis Personae” lists only “Witches,” plus sundry “Apparitions,” and “Hecate.” Nothing in the text of Act I, either. {Sorry about the “Sweetie Poopie-Doo” stuff, gang. I’m just trying to soften her up. **Eve** may be small, but she’s mean.} ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224/40 "2000-09-07T05:48:45Z")
Eve, what can I say to make you feel better? 1. I buy every issue of _Movieline_ and your column is always the first thing I read. 2. I read it even before I was on this board. In fact, I was amazed when “Flora” was revealed as someone I’d heard of. 3. I’ve bought and read all of your books. In hardcover. 4. Joe Queenan’s last book sucked. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-october-movieline-column-sucks/32224.md?page=3)