# My oldest sprung an announcement on me. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2019, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010 "2019-12-17T23:34:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/41 "2019-12-19T21:05:12Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > I’ll make it easy for you: > > 1. Target stores carry Christmas gifts and decorations this time of year. > 2. Oldest lives near my alma mater, Northern Illinois University. > 3. Against the better judgement of anybody but an NIU Kiddie Ed major (they were cute but oh so very dumb), a local preschool bussed its students to the local Target to see the sights. > 4. Their antics amused my daughter, but not enough for her to want one. Wow. I thought I grew up in a boring place (most boring town in the most boring state), but it was never so boring that you’d take a group of preschoolers to Target to “see the sights”. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/42 "2019-12-19T21:20:50Z")
You’ve seen the DeKalb corncob signs? When I was in school DeKalb’s population doubled when school was in session. I assume Target’s clientele is split between college kids, townies, and farmers. Boring. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/43 "2019-12-20T04:31:16Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > “Target has opened up a preschool in their store.” Yes, I know that the latter doesn’t make a lot of sense. Hey, it’s 2019, _anything_ is possible.😃 ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/44 "2019-12-20T06:31:12Z")
First of all, I understood the Target sentence almost immediately. It’s a little like one of those tee shirts that say, “Some people say I have ADD, but they don’t under–look, a squirrel!” But the meaning was pretty obvious. Also, pre-schools often take kids on “how the world works” field trips like going to Target. And who knows? Maybe they were supposed to sing carols there or something. Second, I went to NIU, too! One summer I worked at Woolco, which I’m sure is long gone. Maybe it got replaced by Target. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/45 "2019-12-20T16:42:35Z")
I got the Target thing after a while. It was the OP I cogitated on for a while with no luck. > [@dropzone](#): > > Out of the clear blue she said, “I just want you to know that S. (her roommate) and I aren’t lovers. She pays half the rent and I’m a free babysitter for her son.” > > To the limited extent that I had given it any thought I had suspected that since Oldest had been engaged to a guy and there were questions regarding the paternity of the kid. You gotta work harder to shock me. F’rinstance, they met in college when S. was a tall, skinny guy named Rob. One day a piece of mail arrived addressed to Oldest and someone named S. I asked Wife who S. was. “Oh, that’s Rob.” > > I replied, “I guess that explains her Jeep.” She’s since sold it because it’s hard to wrangle a car seat in and out of a Wrangler. Looks like I wasn’t the only one: > [@Joey\_P](#): > > I’m thoroughly confused. > > ETA I’ve read it a few more times. I understand it even less now than before. So I was relieved when **dropzone** came back and explained. It was nagging at me. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/46 "2019-12-20T17:58:19Z")
Okay, but why is a Wrangler unsuited for a car seat? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/47 "2019-12-20T18:08:51Z")
Everything is hard in a Jeep. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/48 "2019-12-20T18:39:31Z")
With Oldest and her twin sisters I managed to cram two car seats and Oldest into the back seat of a two door Dodge Colt, so I can imagine what S. was going through. Overloaded like that I still got 48 mpg highway. Less while bombing around the Loop playing dodge 'em with CTA buses. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/49 "2019-12-20T19:43:08Z")
The third sentence of the OP was the most muddled to me. As it stands, it is a sentence fragment. “To the limited extent that I had given it any thought I had suspected that since Oldest had been engaged to a guy and there were questions regarding the paternity of the kid.” To become a complete sentence, it needs some extra punctuation: “To the limited extent that I had given it any thought I had suspected that\*\*,\*\* since Oldest had been engaged to a guy and there were questions regarding the paternity of the kid.” (You could add a second comma: “To the limited extent that I had given it any thought\*\*,\*\* I had suspected that\*\*,\*\* since Oldest had been engaged to a guy and there were questions regarding the paternity of the kid.” but that one is optional, unlike the first example, without which the meaning of the statment is changed and the sentence is broken.) ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/50 "2019-12-20T20:00:56Z")
Yeah, it’s obviously wrong. I’ve been trying to reduce my commas, but that was a comma too far. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/51 "2019-12-20T21:15:45Z")
Yeah, Baby! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2019, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/52 "2019-12-20T23:10:44Z")
I tried charting this thread; it didn’t help. But I have enjoyed the time spent on it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Slowchris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Slowchris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slowchris)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/53 "2019-12-21T00:03:51Z")
I tried understanding this thread. Neither wine or ice cream helped. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/54 "2019-12-21T00:55:14Z")
> [@Slowchris](#): > > I tried understanding this thread. Neither wine or ice cream helped. Conjunction Junction, what’s your function? They need to agree: either/or versus neither/nor. Wine should help. Just wait for me to fall off the wagon again and you will see just how incoherent I can get. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/55 "2019-12-21T01:06:04Z")
> [@nelliebly](#): > > First of all, I understood the Target sentence almost immediately. It’s a little like one of those tee shirts that say, “Some people say I have ADD, but they don’t under–look, a squirrel!” But the meaning was pretty obvious. Also, pre-schools often take kids on “how the world works” field trips like going to Target. And who knows? Maybe they were supposed to sing carols there or something. > > Second, I went to NIU, too! One summer I worked at Woolco, which I’m sure is long gone. Maybe it got replaced by Target. I’m with you, **nelliebly**. I agree with the OP that people are trying to misunderstand. However, I think he enjoys it. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/56 "2019-12-21T01:22:01Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Conjunction Junction, what’s your function? They need to agree: either/or versus neither/nor. > > Wine should help. Just wait for me to fall off the wagon again and you will see just how incoherent I can get. As someone that is definitely OFF the wagon, I suggest staying on it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/57 "2019-12-21T01:52:47Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Wine should help. Just wait for me to fall off the wagon again and you will see just how incoherent I can get. No need to wait. Going through prior threads of yours I can find examples of threads that were apparently started when you were off the wagon. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/58 "2019-12-21T03:45:50Z")
You stalking me, bro? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/59 "2019-12-21T12:55:29Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > The giveaway that Middle’s fiance couldn’t possibly be gay or straight is because he’s a trainspotter who tries to take her to the train museum for her birthday, and no anorak has ever gotten laid by anyone. I take the deepest offense (offence?) at this statement. I’m no trainspotter but only because it is not a big thing in the US. I _have_ been on a lot of trips to take pix of trains which is a bigger deal here. I _did_ take my girlfriend to a train museum because while no railfan, she did find trains fascinating.\* I’ve never owned an anorak and the only one I’ve worn was the one the Navy lent me when they insisted I go to Iceland. Despite all that, I had direct knowledge that said museum-going girlfriend was, in fact, quite female and mumble other as well, plus a wife for a time. \*One time I took her along with my railfanning group and she started gathering artifacts like burst air hoses with the gladhand still attached, and stray tie plates. When she’d accumulated about twenty pounds one of the group quipped, “Starting your own railroad with cast-off bits?” ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2019, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010/60 "2019-12-21T13:10:49Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > […] > Oh, it you are new to the internet, “IDK” or in this case “Idk” means “I don’t know.” And I know that she was entertained because her biological clock is ticking, but I’m not telling her that because having a kid now would fuck up her long-term plans. I am not really understanding anything at all, but it is entertaining and intriguing. I am a foreigner, so there must a an unsurmountable barrier there somewhere, but as you are trying to explain acronyms, could you elucidate those three please: OP ETA nm That would be very ice, thank you in advance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-oldest-sprung-an-announcement-on-me/845010.md?page=4)