# My online friend died. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 20, 2007, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-online-friend-died/427152 "2007-11-20T03:50:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-online-friend-died/427152/21 "2007-11-20T20:16:01Z")
Ah, yes. The death of an on-line friend is oddly painful. I don’t mean oddly in the sense that it shouldn’t be painful, but usually the person is far away, and your only connection is online or by phone. Maybe you’ve never met them, or even talked to their family at all. So you’re just…out there…grieving alone. I can think of 5-6 people I’ve known online who have passed away, and while I wasn’t _especially_ close to any of them, the lack of ritual (attending the funeral/wake, offering your condolences to the family) made it harder to deal with in some way. ---
**Author:** ![abbeytxs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@abbeytxs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abbeytxs)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-online-friend-died/427152/22 "2007-11-20T21:36:30Z")
Again, thank you all for your thoughts and sympathies. I think “odd” is the best word to describe how it feels. I have a real life friend who has a job that allows him to call anywhere and get information that the general public can’t have. He made some calls for me and I now know the circumstances of my friend’s death. Sadly, they were what I most feared. However, knowing does help a lot. To all those who have been here before, my deepest and most profound sympathies. To anyone who might be in this position in the future, again my sympathies and you are welcome to come talk about it anytime. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-online-friend-died/427152/23 "2007-11-21T05:12:57Z")
My sympathies also. I came to know a fellow local historian over the past year who lived in Australia but originally came from my home suburb over here. Brilliant fellow and a wonderful writer – and I never met him, only contacted him by email. Very sad when his daughter contacted me to say he’d died. I felt very, very upset for quite a while after I read her email. But I’m glad I did know him and of him, even if only for so brief a time. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-online-friend-died/427152/24 "2007-11-21T05:34:27Z")
[QUOTE=abbeytxs] I have a real life friend who has a job that allows him to call anywhere and get information that the general public can’t have. He made some calls for me and I now know the circumstances of my friend’s death. Sadly, they were what I most feared. However, knowing does help a lot. [/QUOTE] Consider my curiosity piqued… What happened to him that you “most feared”? ---
**Author:** ![abbeytxs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@abbeytxs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abbeytxs)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-online-friend-died/427152/25 "2007-11-21T08:53:03Z")
[QUOTE=Ruby] Consider my curiosity piqued… What happened to him that you “most feared”? [/QUOTE] He took his own life. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-online-friend-died/427152/26 "2007-11-21T15:16:55Z")
I’m so sorry, Abbey. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-online-friend-died/427152/27 "2007-11-21T17:24:15Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2007, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-online-friend-died/427152/28 "2007-11-22T02:40:55Z")
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. Two of my immediate family members have committed suicide and I know that you’re left with more questions than answers. His friendship was real. Your pain is real. I’m so sorry. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-online-friend-died/427152.md?page=1)