# My only hope is that after I die....
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 4, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926 "2009-07-04T21:13:45Z")
**Posts on this page:** 11
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@ready29003](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ready29003)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/1 "2009-07-04T21:13:45Z")
…someone notices I have died within at least 4 years of my body laying decomposing in my apartment.
> **[Woman, 85, lay dead in her flat for FIVE YEARS before anyone noticed](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1197314/Woman-85-lay-dead-flat-years-noticed-missing.html)**
>
> Isabella Purves' body was only found after a downstairs neighbour noticed water dripping through the ceiling of her tenement flat and reported it to the local council.
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### Author:  [@adventures.in.solitude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adventures.in.solitude)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/2 "2009-07-04T22:09:50Z")
Hmm. How did the mail courier not notice a stack of letters (behind what I’m assuming was just a drop box in her doorway if the police had to push through it)? That and the florist who had the shop below her saw the elderly woman about four times a week… noticed her having boots and a rucksack… but didn’t notice not seeing the woman for 5 years? Eeek. If I were in that position… I think at the very least I would start asking around. I’m also wondering how they gathered upon the 5 year period… based on the letters? Well what if… yeah I’m just going to stop… now my head is just spinning with crazy and cruel “what-if” scenarios… buwahaha.
I have to laugh though… I always tell my mother that she’s _too_ nosy…
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### Author:  [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/3 "2009-07-05T03:49:12Z")
> [@adventures.in.solitude](#):
>
> Hmm. How did the mail courier not notice a stack of letters (behind what I’m assuming was just a drop box in her doorway if the police had to push through it)?
She didn’t havea mial box, just a slit in her door. Half of her hallway could be filled up with junk mail before the mailman would notice anything.
I’m sorry to say, but this happens quite often in Western Europe. Pensions are paid directly into accounts, and most bills are paid by automatic debit. So unpaid bills are not a give-away for such a death.
I think of such loneliness as the flip side of our individual (economic) freedom not to deal with people if we don’t want to. It is easier to become really lonely here in western Europe then it is in the USA.
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### Author:  [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/4 "2009-07-05T04:07:03Z")
> [@Maastricht](#):
>
> I’m sorry to say, but this happens quite often in Western Europe. Pensions are paid directly into accounts, and most bills are paid by automatic debit. So unpaid bills are not a give-away for such a death.
What about things like property taxes?
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### Author:  [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/5 "2009-07-05T04:29:42Z")
I hope she died suddenly from a heart ailment and it’s not something like she fell, broke her hip, then slowly died. ☹
It is true as one of the commenters on the site said that maybe she was a loner by choice and didn’t _want_ other people bugging her, but I think it is more likely that she just happened to outlive everyone else and didn’t intend to be a loner.
I think people who don’t have kids should plan ahead and try to find a younger person who is willing to check up on them regularly as they get older if the childless person winds up outliving their siblings/friends/etc. Working in the medical field, it is not uncommon to see elderly patients who have outlived their family and friends but don’t have kids. That becomes problematic if the person is too sick to be able to speak up about their medical history and their wishes about treatment. In such cases, it would be very helpful if they had someone, even the child of an old friend, who could speak up on the person’s behalf.
I see it as the flip side of how people with kids usually make plans for who will watch over their kids if the parents die…except that in the case of an elderly person who has no younger relatives, it’s not a case of “IF” but “WHEN” you’re going to need help.
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### Author:  [@adventures.in.solitude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adventures.in.solitude)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/6 "2009-07-05T05:04:52Z")
> [@Maastricht](#):
>
> She didn’t havea mial box, just a slit in her door. Half of her hallway could be filled up with junk mail before the mailman would notice anything.
>
> I’m sorry to say, but this happens quite often in Western Europe. Pensions are paid directly into accounts, and most bills are paid by automatic debit. So unpaid bills are not a give-away for such a death.
>
> I think of such loneliness as the flip side of our individual (economic) freedom not to deal with people if we don’t want to. It is easier to become really lonely here in western Europe then it is in the USA.
> [@adventures.in.solitude](#):
>
> Hmm. How did the mail courier not notice a stack of letters (behind what I’m assuming was just a drop box in her doorway if the police had to push through it)?
quoting myself… ridiculous… yes **maastricht** … I was aware of no “mial box”… sorry… I intended to say slit in doorway rather than drop box… drop slit? whatever… it was poorly stated it… many apologies. But I still contend that I bet I would notice 5 years worth of mail on the other side of the door… from the 'slit in doorway’s. I think I’m just being a pest now… but deal with it.
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### Author:  [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/7 "2009-07-05T05:30:03Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#):
>
> What about things like property taxes?
Those, too. In general, people can choose to pay almost everything by automatic debit. And for many elderly folks, either their kids or a social worker will have arranged for everything to be paid automatically, to prevent for instance heating or the telephone to be shut off due to forgetfullness of the elderly person.
Once set up, the whole system runs automatically, even while somebody is dead.
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### Author:  [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/8 "2009-07-05T05:34:45Z")
Forget the slit in the wall mail slot and the auto-bill pay. Those apartments look like they are pretty close together. How did anyone not notice the _smell_ as her body was decaying? They must have really, really good ventilation there.
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### Author:  [@adventures.in.solitude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adventures.in.solitude)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/9 "2009-07-05T09:03:09Z")
Well put.
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### Author:  [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/10 "2009-07-05T14:47:17Z")
It is Scotland. But I can’t fathom the people who were neighbours not even wondering.
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### Author:  [@Giltathriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giltathriel)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-only-hope-is-that-after-i-die/501926/11 "2009-07-05T22:06:04Z")
Wow. This is my new worst nightmare. I can only hope that she was intentionally a loner.