# My Papa Bear is gone. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2019, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073 "2019-11-06T12:33:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2019, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/41 "2019-11-06T21:05:15Z")
My sincerest condolences. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2019, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/42 "2019-11-06T21:08:22Z")
I’m so sorry for you. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2019, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/43 "2019-11-06T22:03:36Z")
I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2019, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/44 "2019-11-06T22:21:57Z")
So sorry for your loss Janis. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2019, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/45 "2019-11-06T22:37:34Z")
My sincere condolences. Please make sure you have someone close for now. A family member, a friend, a pastor. Everyone needs support in a time like this. Our prayers go out to you. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2019, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/46 "2019-11-06T22:50:29Z")
I’m glad your parents are there to help. A long, long hug of support to you on your sudden loss, Janis. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2019, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/47 "2019-11-06T23:31:52Z")
I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2019, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/48 "2019-11-06T23:42:54Z")
My sincere condolences. Hugs. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/49 "2019-11-07T00:03:53Z")
(((((janis))))) ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/50 "2019-11-07T00:38:01Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/51 "2019-11-07T00:39:14Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/52 "2019-11-07T00:40:30Z")
Very sorry for your loss. I lost my wife eight years ago, you are in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/53 "2019-11-07T00:43:43Z")
My husband died in 2017. My condolences and sympathies, from one widow to another. I wish I could be there for you in person, but there are many people here willing to listen at any time of day or night. I am so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/54 "2019-11-07T00:46:48Z")
I am so sorry. Condolences. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/55 "2019-11-07T00:53:07Z")
> [@janis\_and\_c0](#): > > Thank you all so much for your kind words. So many people, including you, have reached out and that and God is the only thing making life even halfway tolerable right now. Am not alone. My folks came in the middle of the night and I am at their house. Again THANK YOU all so much. I am so, so sorry. I hope your folks are a comfort to you. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/56 "2019-11-07T01:30:49Z")
I’m so, so sorry, janis. My husband died a year ago. I think there’s a particular pain to widowhood that can’t really be understood by those who haven’t experienced it. The loss of an anchor, a partner, someone you anticipated doing things with in the future that now feels really big and uncertain. All I can say is that the platitude is right. With time, the pain will ease. Well, no, that’s not exactly right. The pain stays just as painful, but the times you experience it get further and further apart. Hang in there. PM me if you need to talk. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/57 "2019-11-07T01:36:01Z")
I’m so very sorry to hear this. What a nightmare for you to be thrust into. I send you my most sincere condolences. May you find peace. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/58 "2019-11-07T01:51:48Z")
So very sorry to hear this. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/59 "2019-11-07T02:01:43Z")
Oh no, I’m so very sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2019, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073/60 "2019-11-07T02:27:01Z")
It’s going to hurt, a lot. But accepting that that is to be expected is in a sense reassuring. My advice: Try to keep with your usual routine as much as possible- you’ll find yourself craving what normalcy is to be had. Grief is enormously stressful- get help with relaxation techniques, especially if you start feeling chest pains. Don’t be ashamed to howl like a banshee at times. When I lost my wife, it helped beyond measure that I took up daily correspondence with my brother, someone I could describe what I was going through to. Try to find someone you can talk to about it, via email if not in person. A two-person house becomes terribly silent and empty when it becomes a one-person house. If you have to move out/move in with someone do so; otherwise be aware it will take some time to adjust. DON’T make any radical decisions during the grieving process; wait to get back on a somewhat even keel first. Been there Lumpy [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-papa-bear-is-gone/843073.md?page=4)