# My paperclips are horny **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 16, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510 "2002-10-16T14:08:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/1 "2002-10-16T14:08:10Z")
I don’t get it. What is it with these things? Why are they so oversexed? Every time I reach into the box and pull out one lousy paperclip, it’s attached to another paperclip. I feel so dirty! Like I’m interrupting some ancient ritual. Maybe they’re entitled to their privacy. Maybe they think they’ve earned it, coming through the Great Paperclip Factory as they did. Maybe, forged from the finest metals, they bond like no other can bond. Maybe I’m the pervert for interrupting their coitus. Oh, I feel so filthy! I even stopped to watch, but they wouldn’t continue with me watching. How ungrateful! What, they’re shy? And sometimes I’ll reach in and pull out a whole slew of them! They’re all attached, one to the other, like a gleaming silvery daisy chain. Other times they’ll be attached, but all haphazardly. An extravagant orgy. I figured if I left them in the box, they’d be happy and would continue their making of merry. And I peeked in later, and lo and behold, there appeared to be more paperclips than when I last looked. _Have they no shame?_ Little kids can look into these boxes of horny paperclips! What would they think? **Paperclips, think of the children!** ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/2 "2002-10-16T14:59:57Z")
What about staples? They’re all _stuck_ together! Eewww… At least my container of push pins is decent. Or they stop when I look. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/3 "2002-10-16T18:17:26Z")
Oh, that’s nothing. Take a look at rubber bands sometime. Those positions just aren’t natural. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/4 "2002-10-16T19:47:49Z")
[Triangular binder clips](http://tubes.ominix.com/art/a/office/old-binder-clip.jpg) now THESE things are obscene. I’ve got a modern-art style sculpture of these on my desk. It looks like chinese acrobats, each one has one of their clips stuck IN one of the others, then another one clamping down on their extra lever. _shudders_ It’s like a menage-a-trois on top of my monitor! Just USING them feels obscene, the way they spread wide open… Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2002, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/5 "2002-10-16T20:53:29Z")
Must be a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllll slooow day at work. ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/6 "2002-10-17T01:29:59Z")
Very long day, I’d asume. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/7 "2002-10-17T02:33:55Z")
Paperclips? Bah. Pure as the driven snow when compared with coat hangers. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/8 "2002-10-17T02:39:11Z")
Them’s their parents. ---
**Author:** ![Forbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@Forbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forbin)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/9 "2002-10-17T04:10:24Z")
That’s nothing. I’m a cabinetmaker, and I have these fasteners that screw. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/10 "2002-10-17T07:24:03Z")
My paperclips reside atop my desk so I can watch them do their thing all day. I could not relegate them to a box inside my desk so I found a powerful speaker magnet for them to cling to. Some of their positions can be quite artistic, especially when the other metallic paper retaining devices join in and on occasion the odd stick pin or two will join the orgy. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/11 "2002-10-17T13:19:24Z")
An odd stick pin or two? That’s practically bestiality. Now, if you tell me the snub-nosed thumbtack is being shunned for his obvious physical deformity… ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/12 "2002-10-17T14:14:44Z")
Thanks for making me laugh.It took me ten minutes before I could somewhat calm down enough to make a reply. I was laughing so hard that one of my cats came in and nipped my nose. I guess she thought there was a bird or mouse or something in there from my raucous giggling. IDBB ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/13 "2002-10-17T14:16:40Z")
Thanks for making me laugh.It took me ten minutes before I could somewhat calm down enough to make a reply. I was laughing so hard that one of my cats came in and nipped my nose. I guess she thought there was a bird or mouse or something in there from my raucous giggling. IDBB:D ---
**Author:** ![booklover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@booklover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booklover)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/14 "2002-10-17T15:58:04Z")
What’s really embarassing is when you bring a box of them to a meeting and need to separate them in front of everyone there–it’s a giant peep show. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/15 "2002-10-17T16:04:07Z")
Dan, there are no stub nosed thumbtacks in my office. There’s no prejudice involved, I simply think the stub nosed tacks feel they are too good to hang with the other implements or that they feel an overwhelming sense of inadequacy when they try to compare themselves with the others. ---
**Author:** ![tritone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@tritone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tritone)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-paperclips-are-horny/132510/16 "2002-10-17T16:15:26Z")
Oh, lordy, what about my tape flags? You know they’re all stuck end-to-end in that little black box-thingy… and here’s the really dodgy thing - _they never seem to run out!_ I think we need to start a new lobby group: CLIPS (Curb the Licentious and Immoral Perversions of Stationery). **dantheman** , if you’ll be president, **Feynn** can be treasurer, and I’ll be secretary… but only if the organisation pays for my office supplies. 😃