# My patient with rabies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 22, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196 "2013-07-22T15:05:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/21 "2013-07-22T16:20:21Z")
I had a patient sent from an Urgent Care to the ER for “a swollen epiglottis” which is potentially an airway catastrophe. I wondered out loud how an urgent care would make such a diagnosis. Turns out the patient had a swollen uvula. Not quite the same level of sphincter tone with that one. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/22 "2013-07-22T16:30:28Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > … where did that nurse get registered, WalMart’s bridal section? ROFLMAO, no shit. > [@QuickSilver](#): > > Phrenologist, Nephrologist… same damn thing. LOL ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/23 "2013-07-22T16:40:28Z")
My wife’s uvula becomes moist and swollen at times. Is this dangerous? ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/24 "2013-07-22T17:25:33Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > How is rabbys made? They need to do way with instain aminals who foam at the mouht… ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/25 "2013-07-22T17:35:15Z")
> [@pendgwen](#): > > Darn, I was all ready for a great story about how a prison inmate contracted rabies. But I was suspicious as soon as the nurse said you got the patient back from the ER. I’ve never seen a case of actual rabies but I can’t imagine it would be appropriate to discharge them back to prison. Hell, I was thinking “They cut off a prisoner’s head and sent it to the state lab?! Bagel-dog penis ain’t shit now!” ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/26 "2013-07-22T17:44:33Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > They need to do way with instain aminals who foam at the mouht… True story: I sometimes take my dog Simone to the local off-leash dog park.\* Simone is 35 pounds – almost median weight for a female pit bull – but most people consider her pretty small for the breed, perhaps due to inflated expectations. When she gets overstimulated, she sometimes gets drooly. One hot summer day she was excited to meet other dogs and had quite a bit of drool built up when she started running a bit. After a few minutes of huffing and puffing in the heat, she’d blown a lot of bubbles into her spit. I was trying to catch up to her to wipe her muzzle when she wandered past a group of new arrivals to the park. One woman was talking a streak to her friend, glanced down, and the conversation went something like this: “So Gladys blah blah blah…OH MY GOD, IS THAT A RABID PIT BULL?” “Yes, I brought a _rabid pit bull_ to the dog park,” I said, smiling. \*In the interest of full disclosure, I’m told that it’s a bad idea to bring your pit bull – even a very dog-friendly pit – to an off-leash park, because “if anything happens you’ll get the blame.” But I’d already been taking her for a while before I read that, and it’s one of the highlights of her existence. She’s not big, she’s well-behaved, and pretty introverted. I don’t text or phone while I’m there, but stay with her and make sure everyone is interacting smoothly. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/27 "2013-07-22T18:22:24Z")
> [@Qadgop](#): > > RN: Dr, we just got a patient back from the ER. There he was diagnosed with rabies. They want him started on treatment immediately! What the hell, outpatient therapy should be just fine for a rabid patient. His cellmate might have other ideas though. > [@Qadgop](#): > > I should note that english is not this RN’s native language. It’s apparently not the native language of a whole bunch of health care workers, judging from the requisition forms and dictated reports I see. A recurring theme is being sent “centennial” lymph nodes, which one would assume are removed every hundred years, but are actually [something quite different.](http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/detection/sentinel-node-biopsy) > [@Sailboat](#): > > I don’t text or phone while I’m there Good, that’s worse than bringing a rabid pit bull. ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/28 "2013-07-22T18:55:07Z")
Scabies, Rabies, Mickey Rooney Sugar Babies. Paging Doctor Ducca! ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/29 "2013-07-22T19:36:10Z")
My wife, as a new RN, accidentally charted that a patient “pumped his penis” instead of “bumped his penis”. She caught hell about that one for quite a while. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/30 "2013-07-22T19:42:10Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > My wife’s uvula becomes moist and swollen at times. > > Is this dangerous? If she finds out you posted on the web, it is. Be careful. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/31 "2013-07-22T19:44:24Z")
I got a phone call that the patient I sent to her doctor 'cause she hadn’t pooped in a week (and she’d cancelled her last two appointments, so that was mostly just an excuse to get her in there) had received an emergency colostomy. Holy crap! I panicked a little as visions of my license being yanked for delaying sending her for treatment of an obviously serious bowel obstruction danced through my head. No, no, just a _colonoscopy_. Liiiiiiitle bit different! (She pooped plenty the next day, lemme tell ya.) ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/32 "2013-07-22T19:47:07Z")
Isn’t rabies always 100% fatal after symptoms appear? I was wondering why they were starting him on anything, unless it was to make him comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/33 "2013-07-22T19:47:10Z")
> [@JerrySTL](#): > > My wife, as a new RN, accidentally charted that a patient “pumped his penis” instead of “bumped his penis”. She caught hell about that one for quite a while. I want to know what that guy bumped his penis into that required a doctor visit. ---
**Author:** ![user\_hostile](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/user_hostile/32/474_2.png) [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/34 "2013-07-22T19:47:53Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > My wife’s uvula becomes moist and swollen at times. > > Is this dangerous? [In a nutshell, her uvula is on the fritz.](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75vuvula.phtml) ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/35 "2013-07-22T19:49:34Z")
> [@Skara\_Brae](#): > > Isn’t rabies always 100% fatal after symptoms appear? I was wondering why they were starting him on anything, unless it was to make him comfortable. Almost always, but there have been rare cases of people recovering. There’s also [this](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milwaukee_protocol), which in addition to being an interesting medical experiment sounds like a bad 1970’s conspiracy thriller. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/36 "2013-07-22T19:50:52Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > I want to know what that guy bumped his penis into that required a doctor visit. Well, there’s a number of possibilities… - A Bugatti Veyron - Whitey Bulger - ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/37 "2013-07-22T20:11:22Z")
“No, Doc, I said the prisoner has labia so going back to the cell block would be a bad idea.” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/38 "2013-07-22T20:36:22Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > Bibliophage, coprophage, what’s the difference? They are both just phages that people go through… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/39 "2013-07-22T20:39:06Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > Bibliophage, coprophage, what’s the difference? With Dan Brown books, none. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196/40 "2013-07-22T20:55:48Z")
Too bad for him. “Mad Dog” is a cooler prison nickname than the Dick Tracian “Bug Bite.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-patient-with-rabies/664196.md?page=3)