# My penis burns... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2000, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111 "2000-11-21T11:47:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/1 "2000-11-21T11:47:28Z")
OK, I crushed some dried capsicum peppers into a batch of chili about 2 hours ago. I washed my hands afterward with soap, and actually washed my hands again about 15 minutes ago after I peeled an orange. I just went to the bathroom to pee, and hot-diggity! my little member is feeling a bit burned now. Is there anything that removes pepper oil from your hands? Warmfully yours- -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/2 "2000-11-21T12:34:58Z")
a guess- alcohol? The old like dissolves like theory - organic solvent dissolves organic oil ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/3 "2000-11-21T12:54:53Z")
Supposedly if you beat an egg and add some parsley to it and then scrub your hands with it, that should help. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/4 "2000-11-21T13:02:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanadianSue \* > \*\*Supposedly if you beat an egg and add some parsley to it and then scrub your hands with it, that should help. \*\* Could I then cook it up and make Huevos Rancheros? šŸ˜‰ -T ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/5 "2000-11-21T23:42:15Z")
I hear if you use vegetable oil it will replace the capsacin on your skin. ā€“Tim ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/6 "2000-11-21T23:44:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homer \* > \*\*I hear if you use vegetable oil it will replace the capsacin on your skin. > > ā€“Tim \*\* Apply heavily in a vigorous rubbing motion. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/7 "2000-11-21T23:46:43Z")
Thatā€™s funnyā€¦my penis just turns black and starts smoking. It never actually burns. šŸ™‚ But seriouslyā€¦to get ANY oil (from pepper oil to auto grease) of your skin is a chore. Step 1 is to use VERY HOT water, so hot you can hardly stand it. When the oil is heated it gets more viscous, and easier to wash off. Step 2 is to use Lava soap or the equivalent. Step 2 is to also use a toothbrush or scouring pad to get under your nails. Do all three, and you will get damne near anything off your hands. But it might take a little extra scrub time. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/8 "2000-11-21T23:49:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Do all three, and you will get damne near anything off your hands Yes, including that pesky skinā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/9 "2000-11-21T23:51:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > \*\*When the oil is heated it gets more viscous \*\* Less viscous. More vicious. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Dean\_Tyler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@Jack\_Dean\_Tyler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Dean_Tyler)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/10 "2000-11-22T03:50:14Z")
Milk upon your penis will neutralize the problem. ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/11 "2000-11-22T04:06:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > \*\*But seriouslyā€¦to get ANY oil (from pepper oil to auto grease) of your skin is a chore. Step 1 is to use VERY HOT water, so hot you can hardly stand it. When the oil is heated it gets more viscous, and easier to wash off. Step 2 is to use Lava soap or the equivalent. Step 2 is to also use a toothbrush or scouring pad to get under your nails. Do all three, and you will get damne near anything off your hands. But it might take a little extra scrub time. > \*\* Good grief! I was almost to the end of the Step 2 before I realized that you were talking about getting the oil off your hands. Iā€™m not even a guy and I was pretty much cringing through the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/12 "2000-11-22T04:09:19Z")
As a theatre electrician, you learn to wash well and often. After the first time you encounter fiberglass insulation you learn to handle the ā€œahemā€ problem with a minimum of contact. šŸ˜› I feel you pain. But be glad that you have to deal with it for only a few hours, rather than a few weeks! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/13 "2000-11-22T04:57:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Dean Tyler \* > \*\*Milk upon your penis will neutralize the problem. \*\* Well, if anyone should know, itā€™s Jack Dean Tyler. Good luck with that, Tomcat. Dobrou noc. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/14 "2000-11-22T05:01:07Z")
[hijack] Given that this is JDTā€™s first MPSIMS post, I can only assume he does a search every day for threads with the word ā€œpenisā€ in the title. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/15 "2000-11-22T05:46:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Whammo \* > \*\*Less viscous. \*\* Excuse me. THATā€™S what I meant to say. Less viscous is when it gets thinner, making it easier to scrub away. I canā€™t believe **Jack Dean Tyler** posted here! Weā€™re going to have to start calling him ā€œMr. Penisā€. ---
**Author:** ![Meephead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b782af/32.png) [@Meephead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meephead)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/16 "2000-11-22T06:01:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Dean Tyler \* > \*\*Milk upon your penis will neutralize the problem. \*\* Interestingā€¦ Milking it will make it stop burning? Then a dirty magazine, some lotion and a towel would help? Milk this thread for all it is worth! ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/17 "2000-11-22T11:04:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Meephead \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jack Dean Tyler \* > > \*\*Milk upon your penis will neutralize the problem. \*\* > > Interestingā€¦ Milking it will make it stop burning? > > Then a dirty magazine, some lotion and a towel would help? > > Milk this thread for all it is worth! \*\* Whatever your penis ingests, donā€™t, and I mean, DONā€™T, brush with toothpaste. Take heed of Spoofe BO Diddlyā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/18 "2000-11-22T12:44:30Z")
Well, donā€™t flame me for my agreement, but milk is a good neutralizer of heat from chilis. Youā€™ve probably noticed that if you drink milk after eating something spicy, it cools things off. Similarly, Iā€™ve found that antacids, like Maalox and milk of magnesia, applied to my hands after handling jalapenos, are very helpful. And as long as weā€™re being graphic, you have probably noticed the ā€œmorning afterā€ phenomenon of a burning butt the day after eating super spicy food. When no oneā€™s watching, try applying a little Maalox to your nether regions afterwards. Cools things right down. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/19 "2000-11-22T17:38:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > I canā€™t believe **Jack Dean Tyler** posted here! Weā€™re going to have to start calling him ā€œMr. Penisā€. > \*\* I totally agree. When I think of dick, I think of JDT. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111/20 "2000-11-22T18:25:36Z")
Hereā€™s an old folk remedy that may help. Mix together: 12 oz. red cider vinegar 8 tbsp. baking soda 1 tsp. dried yeast 1 carrot, grated 1 aspirin, crushed 1 bottle Tabasco sauce (a little hair of the dog) 1 pound of cake and pastry flour Apply quickly by splooshing the entire bowlful on yor member. Should get your mind of the peppers. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-burns/42111.md?page=2)