# My penis fell asleep **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 14, 2005, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488 "2005-07-14T10:11:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/21 "2005-07-14T18:41:38Z")
You guys are all missing the point of this whole thread, which is this: > [@KGS](#): > > \ I snuggled up to enjoy a documentary on the history of traffic safety films, \ Either that or the history of The Police. It could go either way at this point. ---
**Author:** ![LuckiestGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@LuckiestGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LuckiestGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/22 "2005-07-14T18:56:03Z")
So let me understand this. If your penis goes to sleep, do you have to be careful nothing (wink wink) happens when you shake it and rub it to wake it up… **OR** Do you consider something happening a benefit to the whole situation? **Either way** How do you convince your other half you were only trying to wake it up when they walk in and catch you in the act? This thread has brough up far too many questions, I think. My Blog _[Don’t laugh so hard, it may be funny but it’s also my life](http://luckiestguy.blogspot.com/)_ Lucky ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/23 "2005-07-14T19:00:26Z")
Peter’s piper picked a nap for pooped out peckers If piper’s peter pinkled pee in passing How much pee would Peter’s pecker pass? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/24 "2005-07-14T20:57:13Z")
"Dear Penthouse: > [@QuickSilver](#): > > I’m a male with a crotch, an elbow and a couch and you’re not going to believe what happened to my penis…" ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/25 "2005-07-14T23:24:43Z")
The best part about my penis falling asleep in the afternoon is that it’s up all night! ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/26 "2005-07-14T23:33:00Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > It is really **Richard Johnson and a Load of Bollocks.** Never mind that! What about the pistols (at sunrise)? Anyway, KGS, I first read your title as “My Penis Fell Off”. So consider that things could be worse. ---
**Author:** ![HelloKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecccb3/32.png) [@HelloKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKitty)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/27 "2005-07-14T23:38:46Z")
The whole time I was reading this thread (and trying to conceal my giggles) the song **Detachable Penis** was running thru my music brain. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/28 "2005-07-14T23:44:54Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Bought a new couch today, so I spent quite awhile experimenting with potential ass-grooves and molding my body into the most comfortable positions. I dunno, maybe it was the booze and the weed talking (or maybe not talking enough) but as I snuggled up to enjoy a documentary on the history of traffic safety films, I failed to notice that a good deal of my upper body weight was being supported by my elbow, which was in turn pinned against my crotch. > > Eventually I sat up and, as we males need to do every few hours, began to “adjust myself in a manly fashion”, and suddenly realized – Hey! Whose cock and balls are these in my pants? I touch them, but I don’t feel myself being touched! > > Yup. Mr. Happy and his two faithful cohorts were numb to the world, cold and limp as gooseflesh. For a split second I considered performing The Stranger, until I realized I had gotten it backwards. Then…the pins and needles began. Oh, ow. Ow. Owie owie OW OW OW!!! You know how it is when the blood begins to flow back into a hand or foot that has fallen asleep? Now imagine that feeling in a body part which is _designed_ to intensify sensation…especially as it is filling with blood. Ow. Ow ow. > > Had to walk around a bit until everything went back to a sense of normalcy. I’m pleased to announce that The One-Eyed Wonder Weasel is doing fine, but I don’t believe he’ll be performing any push-ups and hoop-jumps for a little while, at least for tonight. I think your little buddy needs a good massage. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/29 "2005-07-14T23:46:50Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > This happened to me all the time when I used to exercise on a stationary bike. Not the best feeling in the world. A top urologist said that this(constant pressure on the groin while bike riding) can result in impotence in later years! :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/30 "2005-07-14T23:49:16Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > All I can imagine is that he was doing the breakdance [handspin](http://www.zwickau.de/zfiles/jugendclubs/point/pics/Point%202%20003.jpg) on his new couch. Breakdancing can result in [testicular torsion](http://www.scrotalsafetycommission.com/) ! :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/31 "2005-07-14T23:51:21Z")
I can help. Put your penis up close to the monitor. Okay, ready? WAKE UP PENIS! WAKE UP PENIS! WAKE UP! ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/32 "2005-07-14T23:57:58Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Peter’s piper picked a nap for pooped out peckers > If piper’s peter pinkled pee in passing > How much pee would Peter’s pecker pass? BTW - Did you have to pee before your peepee woke up? I know if my pecker ain’t awake in the morning, I’m liable to pee on my toes rather than the toilet tank. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Ruckinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@Ruckinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruckinge)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/33 "2005-07-15T09:02:41Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Yup. Mr. Happy and his two faithful cohorts were numb to the world, cold and limp as gooseflesh. **For a split second I considered performing The Stranger** , until I realized I had gotten it backwards. Then…the pins and needles began. That’s good enough thank you. Nice. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/34 "2005-07-15T13:53:59Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > \ sorry 😛 > Then…the pins and needles began. Oh, ow. Ow. Owie owie OW OW OW!!! You know how it is when the blood begins to flow back into a hand or foot that has fallen asleep? Now imagine that feeling in a body part which is _designed_ to intensify sensation…especially as it is filling with blood. Ow. Ow ow. > > Had to walk around a bit until everything went back to a sense of normalcy. I’m pleased to announce that The One-Eyed Wonder Weasel is doing fine, but I don’t believe he’ll be performing any push-ups and hoop-jumps for a little while, at least for tonight. Maybe I’ve picked the wrong thread to Fight Ignorance in … but when something “falls asleep” it is the NERVE that is being pinched, squeezed or otherwise imparied, not the blood flow. I mean, if your blood flow is cut off, the tissue will die! It’s not the blood returning to your veins that causes pins and needles, it’s the feeling coming back into the nerve! [Citie poo](http://kidshealth.org/kid/talk/qa/foot_asleep.html) ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/35 "2005-07-15T14:29:00Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > This is why I’d never buy a used couch. For some reason, my brain kept seeing this as “This is why I’d never buy a used _crotch_”. Nevermind me… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/36 "2005-07-15T15:50:57Z")
> [@Ellen Cherry](#): > > … but when something “falls asleep” it is the NERVE that is being pinched, squeezed or otherwise imparied, not the blood flow. \ It’s not the blood returning to your veins that causes pins and needles, it’s the feeling coming back into the nerve! It’s not every day that one get’s to hear **Ellen Cherry** talking about the nerve of someone’s penis. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/37 "2005-07-15T15:59:41Z")
Well, **lieu** … :dubious: Wait a minute … :eek: Good heavens :smack: Lawsy mercy :o You goob. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/38 "2005-07-15T18:09:07Z")
I don’t know for sure if my penis has ever fallen asleep, but it _has_ been known to reach over and slap the snooze button in the morning. [sub]Remind me to never again use the phrases “my penis” and “has been” in the same sentance.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/39 "2005-07-15T21:37:07Z")
Mine used to fall asleep once in awhile. Now it just seems to be in a coma most of the time. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488/40 "2005-07-16T05:02:52Z")
> [@Ruckinge](#): > > That’s good enough thank you. > > Nice. 😛 Heheh…I was waiting for someone to notice that! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-fell-asleep/312488.md?page=1)