# My penis has been named. I need to get to the bottom of the choice of name. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 13, 2003, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235 "2003-10-13T19:07:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/21 "2003-10-14T02:43:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JimSox5 \* > \*\*So what do you call it for long? 😃 > > [sub]The bad jokes just never stop, do they?[/sub] \*\* **JimSox5** , you probably shouldn’t ask. It could be a mouthful. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/22 "2003-10-14T02:51:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\ ***JimSox5** , you probably shouldn’t ask. It could be a mouthful. > 😉 \*\* **Skip** , you about made me fall out of my chair. I did bump my head on my desk, though, so that counts for something. ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/23 "2003-10-14T03:06:14Z")
Maybe he had named two previous lovers peni, Alvin and Theodore? ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/24 "2003-10-14T03:06:14Z")
Maybe he had named two previous lovers peni, Alvin and Theodore? ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/25 "2003-10-14T06:51:58Z")
After Simon Jones, who acted the part of Arthur Dent in HHGTTG. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/26 "2003-10-14T10:38:35Z")
Simon’s had a busy weekend and needs a rest. He’s a little miffed; he’s not used to having his hair cut quite so short. What will his buddies at the gym say? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/27 "2003-10-14T12:04:57Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally Posted by scott evil:_ > Simon’s had a busy weekend and needs a rest. He’s a little miffed; he’s not used to having his hair cut quite so short. What will his buddies at the gym say? And this weeks **TMI** statement goes to… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/28 "2003-10-14T12:06:05Z")
Err… that should read: And this weeks award for the most **TMI** statement goes to… ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/29 "2003-10-14T13:54:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scott evil \* > \*\ ***Otto** , I do have a couple of pics of Simon I could send you. > > You’ll see. You’ll want to watch **EvilCam®** even more. \*\* ::whine:: _I_ participated in this thread before **Otto**. Why does he get pictures of Simon and not me? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/30 "2003-10-14T14:33:31Z")
For future reference: Any Doper male who wishes to send me pictures of his Simon does not need to wait for my consent. I have my email public here for a _reason_, people! **scott evil** , this means you! > [@](#): > > And Jer is quite religious. Yes, I have no doubt he spends hours at a time on his knees… ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/31 "2003-10-14T15:07:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scott evil \* > \*\* What will his buddies at the gym say? \*\* your penis talks to other penis’ at the gym?? :eek: You may want to consider naming _his._ ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/32 "2003-10-14T16:31:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > **your penis talks to other penis’ at the gym?? > :eek:** Maybe Simon can get a [movie of his own…](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075830/) ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/33 "2003-10-14T17:12:42Z")
Okay, I was going to make a mediocre joke about “Simonized” the old dry cleaning trademark, so I googled simonize. I stumbled accross [this](http://www.newstribune.com/stories/081503/spo_0815030019.asp) apt headline. The innuendo is eveywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/34 "2003-10-14T17:57:59Z")
Since your appendage has been dubbed “Simon”, here are some suggested names for Jeremy’s dangly: -Schuster (since most of their work is between the covers) -Garfunkle (may not bode well for your partnership) -Leroy (I dunno, “Simon and Leroy” just has a nice ring to it) ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/35 "2003-10-15T00:56:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doctor Jackson \* > \*\* > -Garfunkle (may not bode well for your partnership) \*\* Wouldn’t work. He doesn’t have a 'fro surrounding it, and it doesn’t think it can paint. He does, however, have an 8-gauge PA with three beads. Ferdinand the bull? In any case, Simon’s new hairdo got quite a few double-takes at the gym this evening. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/36 "2003-10-15T01:22:46Z")
And yet my mailbox remains empty. \ ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/37 "2003-10-15T01:44:27Z")
Clearly Jeremy knows my stepbrother Simon, he is a dick. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/38 "2003-10-15T20:33:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JimSox5 \* > \*\*So what do you call it for long? 😃 \*\* Since you asked … “Mighty Randy Chuckletrousers.” Hey, **Skip** warned you that you might not want to know. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/39 "2003-10-16T10:49:08Z")
**Otto** , check your email. This time I’m not teasing. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235/40 "2003-10-16T13:40:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*::whine:: > > _I_ participated in this thread before **Otto**. Why does he get pictures of Simon and not me? \*\* AHEM 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-has-been-named-i-need-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-the-choice-of-name/207235.md?page=3)