# My penis is crooked to the right
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [March 30, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061 "2001-03-30T03:05:38Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@DippityDoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DippityDoo)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/1 "2001-03-30T03:05:38Z")
Eutychuss’s Brad Pitt Penis thread made me think about mine. So I went into the bathroom looked at the sucker and sure enough it goes to the right and it curves upwards. Damn I must be a freak. Oh well at least I don’t have a girlfriend that makes fun of it anymore. Oh yeah I forgot that would be because I don’t have a girlfriend. Damn am I that bad? I mean honest ladies? I’m not completely hideous only mildly at best. All the boils on my face dissappeared and the wart treatment is working nicely. I guess I never was boyfriend material…
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### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/2 "2001-03-30T03:11:56Z")
The mighty Criswell predicts that you are right-handed!
Appropriate name; Lou Reed told _Creem Magazine_ in 1974 that his preferred lubricant was DippityDoo.
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### Author:  [@Ad\_Noctum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ad_Noctum)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/3 "2001-03-30T03:33:29Z")
\<======= curves up
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### Author:  [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/4 "2001-03-30T03:38:43Z")
Nah. it’s normal. **Spiral** , now that’s strange (please, no photos)
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### Author:  [@muffinman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muffinman)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/5 "2001-03-30T05:41:06Z")
I hook a tad bit to the left.
My best friend hooks a tad bit to the right (so he claims… haven’t seen it to verify).
We have an inside joke that we are mirror images of one another.
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### Author:  [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/6 "2001-03-30T07:42:29Z")
It is a medical syndrome known as Peyronies Disease.
Here is a link… [http://www.123plasticsurgery.com/drwhitehead/](http://www.123plasticsurgery.com/drwhitehead/)
It is very common.
O
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### Author:  [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/7 "2001-03-30T15:04:43Z")
I refer you to the Flying Dutchman, Tesco Vee, who contends that “Real Men Hang To the Right.”
Being a right-handed liberal, I must disagree.
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### Author:  [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/8 "2001-03-30T16:03:18Z")
I always thought it matched whatever handedness you were. Mine leans to the left.
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### Author:  [@bafaa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bafaa)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/9 "2001-03-30T21:05:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Oicu812 \*
> \*\*It is a medical syndrome known as Peyronies Disease.
>
> Here is a link… [http://www.123plasticsurgery.com/drwhitehead/](http://www.123plasticsurgery.com/drwhitehead/)
>
> It is very common.
>
> O \*\*
Just because it’s curved doesn’t mean you have Peyronies Disease.
From this site:
> **[WebMD - Better information. Better health.](https://www.webmd.com)**
>
> The leading source for trustworthy and timely health and medical news and information. Providing credible health information, supportive community, and educational services by blending award-winning expertise in content, community services, expert...
\*Many men have some degree of penile angulation…
…If you have a mildly curved penis that has always been that way, you’re simply normal and don’t need treatment. \*
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### Author:  [@Paul\_The\_Younger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_The_Younger)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/10 "2001-03-30T21:30:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Oicu812 \*
> \*\*It is a medical syndrome known as Peyronies Disease.
>
> Here is a link… [http://www.123plasticsurgery.com/drwhitehead/](http://www.123plasticsurgery.com/drwhitehead/)
>
> It is very common.
>
> O \*\*
My first thought was "This is friggin’ nuts! Why does every little idiosyncracy have to be defined in terms of a disease?!? “[Doc] That man’s johnson hangs to the right…there must be something we in the medical establishment can do to help him feel like a NORMAL person.[/Doc]” What bullshit.
So I tried the link above, but it didn’t work. Then I searched out Peyronies Disease and found [this article](http://my.webmd.com/content/article/1680.50132). AH HA! What you (and I) have, my friend, is NOT Peyronies Disease, so put down the alcohol and ampicillin. Unless of course you have what the author describes as the hallmark of the disease, “a plaque or hard spot along the shaft of the penis.” (Basically scar tissue. WARNING…MEN…There are graphic case studies in the article of how scar tissue on the penis might occur. BEFORE you read them, make sure you have an appropriately large enough space on the floor next to your chair for curling up in the fetal position. You have been warned – OUCH).
I’d like to know what the plastic surgeon’s take on this is, but I’m guessing he’d want your three grand to true it all up, disease or not. Sounds like the cure (the “Nesbit Procedure”) may be as bad or worse than the disease. ("So, Doc, you’re gonna CUT SOME WEDGES out of the other side, so that it’s as short as the curved side?!? ::sound of squeeling tires:: )
I’m guessing you’re just like me, it turns a bit to the right, and it doesn’t care, so I don’t care. Works every bit as good as a straight one, and maybe better. For those who have Peyronies, they have my deep sympathy. But it scares me when doctors suggest that something “different” is “wrong”, and therefore needs to be “corrected”.
BTW, I am right-handed, but to blow away your theory **xizor** , I usually wax with my left hand. Maybe it has to do with whether you live north or south of the equator? Any Aussies in the crowd?
Paul
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### Author:  [@eirroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eirroc)
#### Post date: [March 30, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/11 "2001-03-30T22:29:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _originally posted by Ad noctum_
> **\<======= curves up**
Think yourself lucky **Ad noctum** apparently thats _ooohhhh_ for a woman (no I dont know by experience 😉
> [@](#):
>
> _originally posted by Paul the younger_
> **BTW, I am right-handed, but to blow away your theory xizor, I usually wax with my left hand. Maybe it has to do with whether you live north or south of the equator? Any Aussies in the crowd?**
Thats not so it feels like someone else then? 😉
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### Author:  [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/12 "2001-03-31T00:33:53Z")
So, **DippityDoo** …
How YOU doin’? 😉
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### Author:  [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/13 "2001-03-31T00:54:34Z")
You know, most of us women don’t care if it curves a bit. 😉
Hell, from my point of view(involuntary chastity…for too long), one could be 2 inches long, 1/2 inch wide, and it would look _fan-freaking-tastic_ to me.
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### Author:  [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/14 "2001-03-31T01:12:36Z")
Wait a minute. You guys can’t vary the curve at will?
Huh.
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### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/15 "2001-03-31T01:18:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by manhattan \*
> **You guys can’t vary the curve at will?**
No. Gets too hard for that.
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### Author:  [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/16 "2001-03-31T01:43:50Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by dropzone \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by manhattan \*
> > **You guys can’t vary the curve at will?**
>
> No. Gets too hard for that. \*\*
Even steel bends if you get it hot enough…
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### Author:  [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/17 "2001-03-31T02:24:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by manhattan \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by dropzone \*
> > \*\*
> >
> > > [@](#):
> > >
> > > \*Originally posted by manhattan \*
> > > **You guys can’t vary the curve at will?**
> >
> > No. Gets too hard for that. \*\*
>
> Even steel bends if you get it hot enough… \*\*
Hope you’re with a redhead.
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### Author:  [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/18 "2001-03-31T11:48:24Z")
Dear guys (Doo, Muffin, Muffin’s friend)
Hope the following is not Too Much Information, but as a gay man who has seen thousands of penises very close up, it really is very common, doesn’t interfere with the way things work, and is a turn-on to many.
Because “manliness” is such a Big Deal and “queerness” so scary, many men just don’t see enough dicks in their lives to understand the wide variety of shapes sizes etc. Try looking closely at people’s ears - ooh what a weird assortment **they** come in!
**Lsura** put it very well, I thought.
Redboss
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### Author:  [@Potter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Potter)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/19 "2001-03-31T13:50:39Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Redboss \*
> **as a gay man who has seen thousands of penises very close up**
Thousands? _Really_?? As a gay man who hasn’t, I am currently unsure whether to be impressed, envious, or just . .
[sup]ewww[/sup]
Mine is the only straight thing about me.
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### Author:  [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-crooked-to-the-right/60061/20 "2001-03-31T16:59:45Z")
And of course Cecil Adams addressed this issue in a column:
[Is it Possible to Straighten or Lengthen the Penis?](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mrisingson.html)
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