# My penis is fine the way it is, thanks **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 27, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918 "2003-02-27T17:16:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/1 "2003-02-27T17:16:39Z")
I’d just like to say, to all those out there who are so concerned about the size of my penis: I’m fine with it, really. I know your products would all “add inches to my lenght and girth,” but I’m quite comfortable with what I have. It fits nicely in my shorts and doesn’t get in the way when I’m working. If some of you saw me in the showers after high school gym or track practice, you may have misguided memories which are fueling your concern. See, I’m what they call a “grower.” Trust me, you never saw it at full extension. My girlfriend has never complained; in fact none of my old girlfriends ever complained either, so I figure they must have been satisfied with what I brought to the party. Please understand, it’s not that I have anything against you or your products, or what they do, I just don’t feel I need them. I’m also concerned, I must admit, that I might not use them properly and end up with a battering ram that won’t fit in my car, let alone my lady. Besides, which one do I choose? They’re all herbal, and guarantee at least 2 more inches, some even promise more than that. If I try different ones to see which is best, I could end up having a sausage that wouldn’t fit in a bun. So, no. Thanks for the e-mails of concern but I’m going to pass. You can take me off your mailing lists, and substitute somebody else. I’m sure there are plenty of people you’re worried about, and I don’t want to take any of your time away from helping those less fortunate than myself. B’bye. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/2 "2003-02-27T17:48:10Z")
Heck, I get those emails and I’m female! Thanks for nothing guys! ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/3 "2003-02-27T17:52:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by photopat \* > \*\* > So, no. Thanks for the e-mails of concern but I’m going to pass. You can take me off your mailing lists, and substitute somebody else. I’m sure there are plenty of people you’re worried about, and I don’t want to take any of your time away from helping those less fortunate than myself. > > B’bye. \*\* So we can update our data base properly…you’d still like to be able to “Cum in quarts and quarts all over teen lesbo sluts”…correct? ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/4 "2003-02-27T18:07:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > \*\*So we can update our data base properly…you’d still like to be able to “Cum in quarts and quarts all over teen lesbo sluts”…correct? \*\* Got that covered too (so to speak) but thanks for asking. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/5 "2003-02-27T18:11:13Z")
_Whew_ I’ll let the rest of the **Photopat’s** Penis Society know you’re O.K. We were worried. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/6 "2003-02-27T18:48:11Z")
I tried one of those doctors. I went to him and said I wanted an 8-inch penis. After examining me, he left the room to consult with his colleagues. When he returned, he said “Yes, that’s no problem - we can remove 3 inches.”😃 sorry about that… ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/7 "2003-02-27T19:06:48Z")
So, did you get to keep the stuff they trimmed off, like in a jar on the mantel or something, or did they just dispose of it? ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/8 "2003-02-27T19:13:51Z")
My favorite racist joke: Q: What’s white and eleven inches long? A: Nothing. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/9 "2003-02-27T19:28:30Z")
Why are women such bad judges of distance? [hold hands 3 inches apart] Because they’re constantly told that _this_ is 8 inches. ---
**Author:** ![Will\_Repair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a698b9/32.png) [@Will\_Repair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Will_Repair)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/10 "2003-02-27T19:49:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*Heck, I get those emails and I’m female! Thanks for nothing guys! \*\* If you’re getting nothing then perhaps you’d best answer the ads for your gift list. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/11 "2003-02-27T23:15:09Z")
If you want your dick as big as a pipe, I could forward you this email that I got. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/12 "2003-02-28T00:25:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by photopat \* > \*\*My girlfriend has never complained; in fact none of my old girlfriends ever complained either, \*\* That’s not exactly true. The other day as I was pleasuring your girlfriend she did mention she did mention that she felt your relationship with her was lacking a certain… well… depth, so to speak. > [@](#): > > so I figure they must have been satisfied with what I brought to the party. Just because she doesn’t complain doesn’t mean the hostess is happy that you bought cocktail weiners to the pot luck. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/13 "2003-02-28T01:37:54Z")
Uhm, Scylla…that wasn’t my girlfriend…that was her brother.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/14 "2003-02-28T01:51:24Z")
Whatever. My penis is big enough for **me** to have an orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/15 "2003-02-28T02:15:21Z")
yep not only do i get that spam, i get the lesbian porn (which i know isn’t actually aimed at real lesbians) and offers to consolidate my debt and get a degree…i don’t have any debt and i’m in college. i think i’m on the wrong lists… ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/16 "2003-02-28T03:29:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by photopat \* > \*\*Uhm, Scylla…that wasn’t my girlfriend…that was her brother.😃 \*\* I **was** gonna say something about your girlfriend’s hairy chest, but I guess that explains it. It still doesn’t tell me why **he** was complaining about the size of your penis, though. [sub]didn’t think I was gonna be able to come back from that one, didja?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![bludaycious\_babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bludaycious\_babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bludaycious_babe)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/17 "2003-02-28T04:50:22Z")
wow… Scylla… harshness. Keep up the good work! ;D ---
**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/18 "2003-02-28T05:06:17Z")
I defiantly emailed one of those spammers back with a scanned polaroid of my penis. I got an offer for the “extra strength” version back…☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ashkicker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ashkicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashkicker)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/19 "2003-02-28T05:08:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by roadkiller \* > \*\*If you want your dick as big as a pipe, I could forward you this email that I got. \*\* Damn now that is tempting and I don’t even have a dick, but I sure as hell like to see that.😃 don’t even think about it ---
**Author:** ![bludaycious\_babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bludaycious\_babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bludaycious_babe)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918/20 "2003-02-28T05:11:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by syncrolecyne \* > \*\*I defiantly emailed one of those spammers back with a scanned polaroid of my penis. > > I got an offer for the “extra strength” version back…☹ \*\* Damn, **syncrolecyne** what a boost for your ego huh? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is-fine-the-way-it-is-thanks/157918.md?page=2)