# My penis is **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275 "2005-12-19T09:00:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/21 "2005-12-19T15:42:12Z")
My penis brought the downfall of Atlantis. My penis slumbers beneath the waves. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/22 "2005-12-19T15:43:22Z")
My penis is so big, it doesn’t return my phone calls. My penis is so big, it had a revolution. It’s now the People’s Republic of My Penis. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/23 "2005-12-19T15:48:19Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Geez…what is it about boys and their dicks? You’d think that there was nothing else out in the world more interesting than their schlongs. > > I reckon that the male preoccupation with willies is just good ol’ Freudian penis envy. > > 😛 Yeah? Yeah? Seen many stage shows lately called _The Penis Monologues_? :rolleyes: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/24 "2005-12-19T16:08:40Z")
Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/25 "2005-12-19T16:21:16Z")
> [@picker](#): > > My penis > > is awesome. And by awesome i mean totally sweet. I heard one time he totally uppercut some guy with it just because the guy opened a window. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/26 "2005-12-19T16:22:25Z")
Mine has it’s own zip code. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/27 "2005-12-19T16:28:15Z")
My penis is so big it has its own penis. …and my penis’s penis is larger than your penis. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/28 "2005-12-19T16:37:45Z")
My penis ensues. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/29 "2005-12-19T16:53:16Z")
This is an amusing thread. To hear all you guys brag is funny. Me, I’ll just sit here and grin, while I stir the coals of the fire… ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/30 "2005-12-19T17:04:14Z")
That snow penis? That was a scale model of mine, except there wasn’t a large enough snowfall to do it actual size. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/31 "2005-12-19T17:07:34Z")
> [@Happy Lendervedder](#): > > My penis speaks to me in tongues. > > My penis has a tongue. :eek: So…uh…how \*you \*doin’? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/32 "2005-12-19T17:16:54Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > So…uh…how \*you \*doin’? 😃 Damn damn damn! This is _exactly_ what I wanted to post. ☹ I get **Happy** (and little **Happy** ) when **WhyNot** ’s finished! ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/33 "2005-12-19T17:32:53Z")
My penis is…missing! :eek: Oh, wait. I’m a girl. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/34 "2005-12-19T17:36:12Z")
[Death to Smoochy] **Randolph** : Didn’t she tell you of the love we once had. Passionate yet tender, old-fashioned yet experimental. **Sheldon** : Randolph, you have lost your mind. **Randolph** : Oh, enlighten the lad, Nora. You were such a hot little brood mare, does the bridle still fit? **Sheldon** : Hey, watch your mouth mister! **Nora** : What experiments? I’ve had firmer handshakes, ya drunk. **Randolph** : Please, it’s small, but it’s fierce! [/Death to Smoochy] ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/35 "2005-12-19T18:50:26Z")
My penis lives the life of a mild daily mannered computer tech’s organ while fighting sexual injustice as the caped cod piece at night. You’d never recognize it without its glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/36 "2005-12-19T18:59:30Z")
. . . so small that as it approaches the speed of light, its mass does not appreciably increase. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/37 "2005-12-19T19:08:35Z")
My penis is the reincarnation of Hermann Göring. Sometimes this is cool because it’s able to discuss art and castles and the Alps and stuff and that can be really interesting, but it just won’t shut up about how many planes it shot down in World War I. I’ll tell it “Yeah, then you bombed the hell out of innocent people in London didn’t you? And who was it who… oh, I don’t know, couldn’t get more than two planes in the air to stop the Allied invasions? Yeah… oh what, did I hurt your feelings, you’re going in your shell now?”, but then later I’ll see a really gorgeous blonde guy and he’ll come out and give the Nazi salute. It was awkward at first but we’ve come to learn how to share the same body. We figured if those drama queens on REAL WORLD could share a space so could we, and it could be worse. A friend of mine has a penis that’s the reincarnation of Amelia Earhart. Everytime he tries to have sex he ends up going down. ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Wind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Broken\_Wind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Wind)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/38 "2005-12-19T19:14:31Z")
…hanging to the left. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/39 "2005-12-19T19:14:51Z")
My penis is the voice of sanity and reason, but my testicles are nuts. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/40 "2005-12-19T20:43:06Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > My penis is the voice of sanity and reason, but my testicles are nuts. **tdn** , that needs to be your new sig line! That’s HI-lar-ious! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275.md?page=3)