# My penis is **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275 "2005-12-19T09:00:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/41 "2005-12-19T20:51:53Z")
> [@JustAnotherGeek](#): > > **tdn** , that needs to be your new sig line! That’s HI-lar-ious! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/42 "2005-12-19T20:52:17Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Geez…what is it about boys and their dicks? You’d think that there was nothing else out in the world more interesting than their schlongs. > > I reckon that the male preoccupation with willies is just good ol’ Freudian penis envy. > > 😛 She’s envious. I’m just interested. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/43 "2005-12-19T20:52:38Z")
My penis … ``` ... is detachable. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/44 "2005-12-19T21:31:11Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I suppose if I’m really honest, I use mine as a sort of car substitute. Sweet. ---
**Author:** ![roshia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6bbea6/32.png) [@roshia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roshia)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/45 "2005-12-19T21:33:04Z")
My penis is masturbating like a motherfuck. Which is impressive, when you consider that I’m female. ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/46 "2005-12-19T21:41:08Z")
My penis is all about privacy, according to [Google](http://www.googlism.com/index.htm?ism=my+penis&type=1). ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/47 "2005-12-19T22:33:05Z")
My penis can be only measured in infinity and has prevented several blackholes from forming near our solar system and is worshipped as a minor god in many parts of Papua New Guinea. Among the !kung tribe it is often referred to the “All Seeing Eye”. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/48 "2005-12-19T22:41:37Z")
Did you know that mankind has only visited my penis once? In 1960? For 20 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/49 "2005-12-19T23:04:13Z")
My penis is expanding at the speed of light into every permutation of the metaverse. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/50 "2005-12-19T23:18:41Z")
My penis is a bigger dick than the current administration. And, amazingly enough, it’s Republican. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/51 "2005-12-19T23:26:55Z")
My penis has been known to level down-town Tokyo when angry. Also I once used it to reach the moon by pointing it at the ground and masturbating. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/52 "2005-12-20T04:18:28Z")
Einstein correctly postulated that the curvature of space-time is responsible for making my penis bump into the back of my head. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/53 "2005-12-20T05:09:25Z")
Due to the protests of several concerned parents, any meme that involved my penis’ accomplishments has been summarily changed from “ **Superdude** ’s penis to **Chuck Norris**.” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/54 "2005-12-20T10:50:26Z")
The Q continuum were obliged to change the gravitational constant of the universe in the vicinity of my penis to prevent it from undergoing spontaneous collapse. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/55 "2005-12-20T11:26:06Z")
My penis is adapted to silent running. My penis was the only true victor of the Spanish Civil War. My penis lives in a yellow submarine. mm ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/56 "2005-12-20T15:21:45Z")
My penis is a Weapon of Mass Insemination. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/57 "2005-12-20T16:31:03Z")
> [@mamboman](#): > > My penis is adapted to silent running. My penis was the only true victor of the Spanish Civil War. My penis lives in a yellow submarine. …yellow submarine, yellow submarine. My penis is so big it was once used for transatlantic passenger service. If my penis were an independent republic (_see_ **People’s Republic of My Penis** ), it would have a gross domestic product slightly larger than that of Estonia. My penis is so versatile I trimmed my own Christmas tree from across the room using only Post-it Notes, glitter and rubber cement (brush in cap container). ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/58 "2005-12-20T17:06:21Z")
…at home, attached to that guy I married. And they’d **both** better be behaving themselves! ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/59 "2005-12-20T18:16:01Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > …yellow submarine, yellow submarine. > > My penis is so big it was once used for transatlantic passenger service. > If my penis were an independent republic (_see_ **People’s Republic of My Penis** ), it would have a gross domestic product slightly larger than that of Estonia. So a bit more than $19,230,000,000, then? Just curious. ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/60 "2005-12-20T18:17:44Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Also I once used it to reach the moon by pointing it at the ground and masturbating. I take it you are a grower, not a shower 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275.md?page=4)