# My penis is **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275 "2005-12-19T09:00:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/61 "2005-12-20T20:20:16Z")
Am I the only person in this thread who did not feel the need to embellish my answer? Jeepers, the delusions of grandeur some of you guys harbor… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/62 "2005-12-20T21:57:03Z")
It ain’t braggin’ if you can back it up. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/63 "2005-12-20T22:07:17Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > My penis … > > ``` > ... is detachable. > > ``` :eek: Kinky! ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/64 "2005-12-21T03:36:33Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > It ain’t braggin’ if you can back it up. My Penis is so big it beeps when I back up? ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/65 "2005-12-21T03:49:09Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > [Death to Smoochy] > **Randolph** : Didn’t she tell you of the love we once had. Passionate yet tender, old-fashioned yet experimental. > **Sheldon** : Randolph, you have lost your mind. > **Randolph** : Oh, enlighten the lad, Nora. You were such a hot little brood mare, does the bridle still fit? > **Sheldon** : Hey, watch your mouth mister! > **Nora** : What experiments? I’ve had firmer handshakes, ya drunk. > **Randolph** : Please, it’s small, but it’s fierce! > [/Death to Smoochy] What the hell is that? I must know. Anyway. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/66 "2005-12-21T03:52:03Z")
> [@Glassy](#): > > What the hell is that? I must know. > > Anyway. Carry on. [Death To Smoochy](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0266452/) starring Robin Williams and Edward Norton ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/67 "2005-12-21T06:24:26Z")
> [@Unintentionally Blank](#): > > My Penis is so big it beeps when I back up? For some reason, that reminds me of something that Sarah Silverman said: Adam Corolla’s penis is really big. I don’t know how big, but Jimmy [Jimmy Kimmell, her boyfriend, and Corolla’s co-host on _The Man Show_] says it feels like ten inches. ---
**Author:** ![DfrntBreign](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@DfrntBreign](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DfrntBreign)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/68 "2005-12-21T08:37:34Z")
nowhere near as interesting when drunk as it thinks it is. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/69 "2005-12-21T18:31:39Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > :eek: Kinky! > [@King Missle](#): > > I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time; it’s detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time; I can leave it home when I thnk it’s gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don’t need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning, I can’t, for the life of me, remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn’t find it, so I called up the place hwere the party was, they hadn’t seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet , 'cause for some reason, I leave it there sometimes, but no this time. > So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. > I was starting to get desperate. I really don’t like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. lyrics truncated for copywrite issues. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/70 "2005-12-21T18:58:10Z")
My penis recently made a long-term commitment and is enjoying it greatly. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/71 "2005-12-21T20:18:20Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > lyrics truncated for copywrite issues. I’ll see your Detachable Penis and raise you an Enormous Penis: > [@DaVinci's Notebook](#): > > … > I got a sing and a dance when I glance in my pants > And the feeling’s like a sunshiney day > I take a look at my enormous pe-e-e-nis > And everything is goin’ my way > … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Wind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Broken\_Wind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Wind)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/72 "2005-12-21T20:30:04Z")
> [@JustAnotherGeek](#): > > I’ll see your Detachable Penis and raise you an Enormous Penis: > 😃 I’ll raise your Enormous Penis an… - wait that didn’t come out right. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/73 "2005-12-22T02:48:55Z")
I fell asleep at a nudist beach once. When I woke up there were a bunch of scouts raising the US flag. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/74 "2005-12-22T04:43:53Z")
My penis is bright purple, battery operated, and in the top left drawer of my dresser. Oh, and it comes with 8 different speeds! 🙂 I am so glad I am a girl…I would hate to wake up and find a bunch of scouts running a flag up my penis. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/75 "2005-12-22T05:01:53Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > My penis is bright purple, battery operated, and in the top left drawer of my dresser. Oh, and it comes with 8 different speeds! 🙂 > > I am so glad I am a girl…I would hate to wake up and find a bunch of scouts running a flag up my penis. Okay, so help me out here. What is WITH the colors of dildos? I mean, I can understand toy guns being a different color so you don’t accidentally confuse it for the real thing but, in this case, if it were real, well…okay too many ‘guns’, weapons, accidental discharge, and other similar ideas just galloped though my thought process… But Purple? hot Pink with glitter? Teal? ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/76 "2005-12-22T05:53:31Z")
My penis is so mean, it’s rumored that it once shot a man _just for snoring_. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/77 "2005-12-22T12:52:15Z")
ooh! ooh! I gotta 'nother one! **My penis:** You will not find a more rigid hive of scum and villainy. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/78 "2005-12-22T13:04:07Z")
> [@Unintentionally Blank](#): > > Okay, so help me out here. What is WITH the colors of dildos? I mean, I can understand toy guns being a different color so you don’t accidentally confuse it for the real thing but, in this case, if it were real, well…okay too many ‘guns’, weapons, accidental discharge, and other similar ideas just galloped though my thought process… > > But Purple? hot Pink with glitter? Teal? Obviously we need a panel of horny female volunteers, and some blindfolds, in order to answer the searching question: The Vagina. Colour-Sensitive Or Not? I will selflessly volunteer to outfit myself with a white lab coat and a clipboard in order to lend the verisimilitude of scientific respectability to this study. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/79 "2005-12-22T13:11:24Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Obviously we need a panel of horny female volunteers, and some blindfolds, in order to answer the searching question: The Vagina. Colour-Sensitive Or Not? > > I will selflessly volunteer to outfit myself with a white lab coat and a clipboard in order to lend the verisimilitude of scientific respectability to this study. 😃 I just always assumed hoo-hahs had little light-sensitive eyes, like scallops. Yes, further research is needed. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2005, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275/80 "2005-12-22T14:41:26Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > The Vagina. Colour-Sensitive Or Not? I have owned pink, blue, green, and now purple. I notice no difference because of the color. But I wish I had **pbbth** ’s eight speeds. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-penis-is/336275.md?page=5)