# My pool is filled with half naked nubile babes and I'm annoyed. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440 "2003-06-26T03:08:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/1 "2003-06-26T03:08:03Z")
My wife’s sister is back in town. She used to be a big swimmer, and she has these shoulders and anyway, she looks exactly like that liquor ad where the blonde bombshell weilding a broadsword is riding the polar bear. She’s staying with us for a week. Their cousins have all come over to visit, as well. There’s five or six of them and all of their names start with “J” for some unknown reason. They are all tall, blonde, skinny and built. They’ve all been hanging out at my house, and in my pool. This is good because they dote on my three year old, and help out my pregnant wife. They really are good people. All of them, including my sister in law all wear the very skimpiest of bikinis. All weekend long there’s been all this nubian flesh in my backard and living room. Every day I come home and they’re out there swimming and tanning. I’m annoyed for two reasons: The first is that they are so unselfconscious around me, they obviously consider me safe. I’m obviously an old man to them. And, they’re right. I am safe. Not interested. Young nubile women sound more like a pain in the neck than an attraction to me, even if I wasn’t married. The other reason I’m annoyed is that I’m the pool man. Come home today, look at them playing in the pool and say to myself “Oh Great all that flesh and suntan lotion has to be playing hell with my chlorine and ph levels.” I go down there, still in my suit, take some readings, look up and say “Ok, who peed in the pool.” They all giggle. I’m serious. Somebody or somebodies been putting a lot of organic matter into my pool. Chlorine’s all gone, and the PH is about 6.2. I dump chemicals in the pool, have a lousy jog because the temps 100 degrees, come back and they’re still there. Now they’re all sitting around on my couch as I type this, talking (I swear to God) about how to measure breast sizes (Two of them work at Victoria’s Secret, (again, I swear I’m not making this up.) Took the whole crew out to dinner. Me, my wife, my daughter, and the nubians and everybody just stared our table the whole time. One of these J-girls goes to MIT, one of the others goes to Georgetown. So, they’re smart too. Here I am. This was my wildest dream at 16. Now I just don’t care. I doubt you believe me, but I wish I had some peace and quiet. I’m getting sick of all these half-naked nubile girls hanging out here all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/2 "2003-06-26T03:11:33Z")
I will be right over! ---
**Author:** ![Trafalgar\_Laura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trafalgar_laura/32/2907_2.png) [@Trafalgar\_Laura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trafalgar_Laura)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/3 "2003-06-26T03:13:39Z")
Nubians? ---
**Author:** ![Vorae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@Vorae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vorae)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/4 "2003-06-26T03:16:54Z")
::Raises a glass to **Scylla** :: I hope I grow up to be a grown-up like you someday. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/5 "2003-06-26T03:17:44Z")
Methinks you’re confusing your Nubians with your nubiles. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/6 "2003-06-26T03:18:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nealla \* > \*\*Nubians? \*\* > **[Definition of nubile | Dictionary.com](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/nubile)** > > Definition of nubile from Dictionary.com, the world’s leading online source for English definitions, pronunciations, word origins, idioms, Word of the Day, and more. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/7 "2003-06-26T03:21:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cosmopolitan \* > \*\*Methinks you’re confusing your Nubians with your nubiles. 😉 \*\* Yeah yeah yeah. I’ll use these words in the way I like. If one is excessively nubile than it seems to me one would be a nubian. The fact that nubian means of or pertaining to or an inhabitant of Nubia has nothing to do with this. I’ve been using the word that way for a long time, and I’m going to keep doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/8 "2003-06-26T03:32:59Z")
Gentlemen, let’s not argue over trivial aspects of **scylla** ’s post, such as the correct plural of “nubile”. The fact remains that he’s got 7 hotties in bikinis on his sofa. Let’s all just enjoy it vicariously until he posts pictures (hint! hint!) of his “dilemma”. ---
**Author:** ![Trafalgar\_Laura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trafalgar_laura/32/2907_2.png) [@Trafalgar\_Laura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trafalgar_Laura)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/9 "2003-06-26T03:33:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Yeah yeah yeah. I’ll use these words in the way I like. > > If one is excessively nubile than it seems to me one would be a nubian. > > The fact that nubian means of or pertaining to or an inhabitant of Nubia has nothing to do with this. > > I’ve been using the word that way for a long time, and I’m going to keep doing so. \*\* Okay, just checking. I was picturing a bunch of [these guys](http://www.artrenewal.org/images/artists/D/Deutsch_Ludwig/large/Deutsch_Ludwig_A_Nubian_Guard.jpg) peeing in your pool 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/10 "2003-06-26T03:34:27Z")
Um, **Scylla** , do you by chance need the services of an experienced pool boy/cabana boy? Tripler I have references. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/11 "2003-06-26T03:36:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nealla \* > \*\*Okay, just checking. I was picturing a bunch of [these guys](http://www.artrenewal.org/images/artists/D/Deutsch_Ludwig/large/Deutsch_Ludwig_A_Nubian_Guard.jpg) peeing in your pool 😉 \*\* If I had a bunch of those guys, nobody would dare pee in my pool. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/12 "2003-06-26T03:37:27Z")
Well, you know what they say, “One Man’s Poison is the Dukes Wine”. Or something like that. I have some fine cousins I’d trade for nubian SIL’s. At least they’re not blood. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/13 "2003-06-26T03:39:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > \*\*Um, **Scylla** , do you by chance need the services of an experienced pool boy/cabana boy? > > Tripler > I have references. \*\* I am planning on decking in the pool and building a cabana and a tiki bar, but other projects have been going slower than planned (fix deck, trim trees, sand deck, stain deck, fix screens, mow lawn.) Hopefull I’ll get to it by the big family party on August 8th (When all the nubians will return (They leave Sunday,) Can you run a tiki bar? ---
**Author:** ![Trafalgar\_Laura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trafalgar_laura/32/2907_2.png) [@Trafalgar\_Laura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trafalgar_Laura)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/14 "2003-06-26T03:40:43Z")
Rats, I suck at coding. Try this [link](http://www.artexpressions.com/byimage/APGFLC018.htm) Anyhoo, enjoy it while you can! ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/15 "2003-06-26T04:17:41Z")
Pool boy? I my services as Professional Gawker. Where you be? I might be 30 and married, but gawking never hurt nobody! 🙂 Hmmm. Vodka Ad… ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/16 "2003-06-26T05:31:40Z")
**Scylla** , Tall, blond, built swimmers!? That go to M.I.T. and Georgetown? Good _God_, man! Next you’re going to tell me that they play Dungeons and Dragons. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/17 "2003-06-26T05:55:03Z")
I feel for you, **Scylla**. If I had a horde of half-nekkid nubile girls frolicking around in my swimming pool, I’d be pretty pissed, too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/18 "2003-06-26T06:30:14Z")
Want me to help you with that problem? I am pretty good with all things water related. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_MacDairmuid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_MacDairmuid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_MacDairmuid)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/19 "2003-06-26T06:39:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*If I had a bunch of those guys, nobody would dare pee in my pool. \*\* The penalty is dismemberment, right? ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440/20 "2003-06-26T07:17:44Z")
How’s about I trade you thirty sheep for the nubile babes? 😃 Now I just need to find some sheep… Actually, when I first read the thread title, I thought it said “half- **nuked** nubile babes.” So I imagined that they were all dying of radiation sickness and their flesh was falling off and stuff. Not a very arousing image. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-pool-is-filled-with-half-naked-nubile-babes-and-im-annoyed/184440.md?page=2)