Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Poptarts MUST be toasted. Frosted fruit-filled Poptarts are best consumed raw. Unfrosted Poptarts of any flavor are best served toasted with melted butter. All to be accompanied by a tall glass of ice-cold milk. YUMMMM.
** Pop Tarts can and will catch fire in the microwave, in a matter of seconds.**
In the toaster too,they can catch fire. I had this happen one day when I was like 13 or 14. I wanted ‘extra crispy’ Pop Tarts for some bizarre reason and set the toaster on medium before popping the little goodies in there.Five seconds later when I returned with a big honkin glass of Jolt,my toaster is on fire and I have to beat out the flames with a place mat.
Poptarts. Ah, poptarts. My kids love poptarts, the brown sugar cinnamon variety in particular. Every morning, they gleefully shout “I want another poptart. NOW!” (Well, the younger of the two of them is 2, and she pronounces poptart “tot-tart” which is really cute…)
The other one, he’s 3, tends to walk around eating them and has a habit of hiding it somewhere so special he doesn’t even remember where it is, and will then question “where’d my poptart go?” for hours.
Somebody pilfered my last Poptart! I must shake down the heathens tomorrow morning!
Oh, will they be sorry. I’m telling you heads will roll.
I’ll catch them in the wee hours of the morning when they are just rolling out of bed still in a half-sleep. Maybe in their state of waking confusion one of them will confess to their sin without having a chance to come up with a good alibi!
As for hubby complaining about my eating of late night tarts…he normally wouldn’t if it were anything but the pastry.
Well, he probably still would if I were dripping that kind of tart on the keyboard and monitor.
I’ve never buttered Poptarts, but I do butter those strawberry Poptart toaster pastries. Those round ones?
I had my daughter laughing in tears last week on a roadtrip from CT, I had some bootleg grocery-chain cinnamon pop-tarts and opened a pack to find them hard as cram. Proceeded to voice-over the grunge radio with “stale pop-tarts!” lyrics for fifteen minutes…
I’m going back to the originals, toasted or plain.
BTW the ONLY pop-tart flavor is frosted brown sugar cinnamon - who eats strawberry unless they’re the only food available?
And whatever happened to “Danish-go-rounds”?
It seems that the strawberry pop tarts can be very dangerous. According to the above link, “The flames steadily grew larger and larger until reaching a maximum height of about 18 inches above the top of the toaster.”
I suggest that all poptarts be registered with local law enforcement, and serial numbers be attached to both the toaster, and the poptarts. The poptarts should have the serial numbers recorded in case they are used in a criminal act.
Sure, criminals would probably get poptarts through illegal means, bypassing the serial number recording, or perhaps filing them off, but I think that inconveniencing the law abiding public is a small price to pay for The Safety Of The Children.
And Wonko, I suppose you want me to stop letting them run with scissors as well?:dubious:
And will it end there?
I’m sure next we will all have to run around with rulers making sure they aren’t ruining there poor little eyes by sitting to close to the tv?
And you can’t forget the expense of all those light bulbs and the electric bill going up just so they don’t have to do their homework in the dark?
*wanders off to wake the heathens for another fun day at the conformist factory making sure they brush their teeth, wash their faces, dress in non-clashing clothing, and pull up girls hairs *