# my racist rant of the day **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 10, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334 "2010-09-10T21:16:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![scamartistry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@scamartistry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scamartistry)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/1 "2010-09-10T21:16:29Z")
some of my impressions of the ethnicities/cultures of the world (speaking of the collective, never individuals): anglo-americans: very open and friendly people mexicans: hard, reliable workers jews: amazing academics arabs: very nice people in general, make excellent food african americans: make great music, very good at sports; very hospitable folks germans: one word - punctual russians: gentle people,always with a smile irish: great sense of humor sorry for the stereotyping! reflections? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/2 "2010-09-10T21:22:46Z")
South Americans: fragrant Micronesians: itchy but kind hearted Estonians: piquant Inuit: scrumdiddlyumptious Sebs: tintinnabulous East St. Louisians: archetypal I apologize for the stereotyping, but you know how it is with us bearded guys! ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/3 "2010-09-10T21:24:39Z")
Very half-hearted. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/4 "2010-09-10T21:25:35Z")
… Okay, you know what, I’m just going to go ahead and hijack this thread right now. I have a couple of chicken breasts sitting in the freezer tonight, what can I do with them for dinner? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/5 "2010-09-10T21:27:42Z")
> [@scamartistry](#): > > some of my impressions of the ethnicities/cultures of the world (speaking of the collective, never individuals): > > anglo-americans: very open and friendly people > mexicans: hard, reliable workers > jews: amazing academics > arabs: very nice people in general, make excellent food > african americans: make great music, very good at sports; very hospitable folks > germans: one word - punctual > russians: gentle people,always with a smile > irish: great sense of humor > > sorry for the stereotyping! > > reflections? On more than one occasionI have been told here at the SDMB, with absolute seriousness, that each of your examples is indeed racist and should not be tolerated. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/6 "2010-09-10T21:28:52Z")
> [@scamartistry](#): > > some of my impressions of the ethnicities/cultures of the world (speaking of the collective, never individuals): > african americans: make great music, very good at sports; very hospitable folks > g I am black (I refuse to use the term African-American: too many fucking syllables). I have a tin ear, don’t play sports (though I boxed when younger), and am on record as hating everyone in general and the people of Wales in particular. I know you’ll come back and say, “But, Skaldirimus! I only wrote good things about you and your folk! Surely you can’t call that racist, just because they don’t apply to you.” Yes, I can. By asserting that certain traits are strongly associated with a person’s “race,” you are attempting to backdoor justify claims that other traits–negative ones – are also overwhelmingly associated with persons of a given “race.” It fools no one. > [@Kythereia](#): > > … > > Okay, you know what, I’m just going to go ahead and hijack this thread right now. > > I have a couple of chicken breasts sitting in the freezer tonight, what can I do with them for dinner? Your confusion saddens me, so I have sent a couple of minions over to solve your problem by confiscating the chicken breasts, along with whatever cash, jewelry, and sensitive intelligence you may have lying around. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/7 "2010-09-10T21:33:17Z")
> [@scamartistry](#): > > Reflections? I’m guessing that some of your best friends are black. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/8 "2010-09-10T21:37:32Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > … > > Okay, you know what, I’m just going to go ahead and hijack this thread right now. > > I have a couple of chicken breasts sitting in the freezer tonight, what can I do with them for dinner? I’m making the new Cook’s Illustrated chicken pot pie with a crumble crust! ---
**Author:** ![scamartistry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@scamartistry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scamartistry)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/9 "2010-09-10T21:39:54Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > > [@scamartistry](#): > > > > Reflections? > > I’m guessing that some of your best friends are black. you’d be wrong most are actually of russian and asian (japanese to be specific) heritage , why? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/10 "2010-09-10T21:41:03Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Inuit: scrumdiddlyumptious Eww. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/11 "2010-09-10T21:41:10Z")
[quote=“Skald\_the\_Rhymer, post:6, topic:553334”] [QUOTE=scamartistry;12900529Your confusion saddens me, so I have sent a couple of minions over to solve your problem by confiscating the chicken breasts, along with whatever cash, jewelry, and sensitive intelligence you may have lying around.[/QUOTE] If the minions feel like dropping any jewelry as they pass over Kansas City, well, I’m here for them… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/12 "2010-09-10T21:50:04Z")
> [@Katriona](#): > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > Your confusion saddens me, so I have sent a couple of minions over to solve your problem by confiscating the chicken breasts, along with whatever cash, jewelry, and sensitive intelligence you may have lying around. > > If the minions feel like dropping any jewelry as they pass over Kansas City, well, I’m here for them… They may, as they are remarkably incompetent as minions go. That slacker who genetically engineered them should be shot. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/13 "2010-09-10T21:52:04Z")
> [@scamartistry](#): > > > [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > > > I’m guessing that some of your best friends are black. > > you’d be wrong most are actually of russian and asian (japanese to be specific) heritage , why? Assuming you’re not just fucking around, “my best friends are black” is an allusion to a sort of statement frequently made by racists and/or anti-semites. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/14 "2010-09-10T21:52:24Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > > [@Marley23](#): > > > > Inuit: scrumdiddlyumptious > > Eww. Don’t get all PC about it. I’m just telling it like it is. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/15 "2010-09-10T21:52:32Z")
Jews: I have yet to know one who didn’t eat soap and then lie about it when caught, but every one of them knows how to reboot a computer with their mind alone. African-Americans: Extremely flammable people but with near encyclopedic knowledge of berries and marsupials; terrified of batteries and jade plants. Lithuanians: Biologically incapable of of reproducing unless the female is first allowed to spray a Polynesian or Icelandic brought in as a teaser. Prone to flatulence but natural born violinists every one of them. Poles: Have you never known a single Pole who would not try to twist every conversation into being about cabbage? Good yodelers though. Canadians: Let them catch you in bed with their 14 year old daughters and they’ll pat you on the back and call you “son” while they fix your breakfast, but so much as look sideways at one of their snowmobiles or say anything unflattering about their postal system and they’ll rip your tongue out through your ear. Scandinavians: not actually a race or ethnic group but just a bunch of people who won’t admit to being German. Have nipples the size of the period at the end of this sentence and navels the size of pancakes but capable of emitting sounds that can shatter the skulls of their enemies. English: very prone to cannibalism and false allegations of being sexually molested, but wonderful dancers and gifted metaphysicians. Guatemalans: sexual morals of a dachshund bitch in heat, only one man in every twenty straight, but the gay ones are invariably the best you’ll ever meet at birdcalls and long distance jumping. The women often eat their young when spooked but they can make leftover baloney and Velveeta and random herbs into a quesadilla that would make you disembowel your guide dog to have another bite. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/16 "2010-09-10T21:53:18Z")
Then get with the game and get some fucking Mexican minions already. I hear they make great workers. Uh, that was directed at Skald. You people are fast typers. And by you people, I mean… well, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/17 "2010-09-10T21:56:21Z")
> [@ShelliBean](#): > > Then get with the game and get some fucking Mexican minions already. I hear they make great workers. > > Uh, that was directed at Skald. You people are fast typers. And by you people, I mean… well, you know. Evil-Americans? Anyway, I cannot use Mexican minions for various complicated reasons that don’t concern you. Stupid Aztec curse. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/18 "2010-09-10T21:58:52Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Jews: I have yet to know one who didn’t eat soap and then lie about it when caught, but every one of them knows how to reboot a computer with their mind alone. > > African-Americans: Extremely flammable people but with near encyclopedic knowledge of berries and marsupials; terrified of batteries and jade plants. > > Lithuanians: Biologically incapable of of reproducing unless the female is first allowed to spray a Polynesian or Icelandic brought in as a teaser. Prone to flatulence but natural born violinists every one of them. > > Poles: Have you never known a single Pole who would not try to twist every conversation into being about cabbage? Good yodelers though. > > Canadians: Let them catch you in bed with their 14 year old daughters and they’ll pat you on the back and call you “son” while they fix your breakfast, but so much as look sideways at one of their snowmobiles or say anything unflattering about their postal system and they’ll rip your tongue out through your ear. > > Scandinavians: not actually a race or ethnic group but just a bunch of people who won’t admit to being German. Have nipples the size of the period at the end of this sentence and navels the size of pancakes but capable of emitting sounds that can shatter the skulls of their enemies. > > English: very prone to cannibalism and false allegations of being sexually molested, but wonderful dancers and gifted metaphysicians. > > Guatemalans: sexual morals of a dachshund bitch in heat, only one man in every twenty straight, but the gay ones are invariably the best you’ll ever meet at birdcalls and long distance jumping. The women often eat their young when spooked but they can make leftover baloney and Velveeta and random herbs into a quesadilla that would make you disembowel your guide dog to have another bite. This is why you are the greatest of us. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/19 "2010-09-10T21:58:56Z")
> [@scamartistry](#): > > russians: gentle people,always with a smile Tell that to my great-grandparents. ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334/20 "2010-09-10T22:09:19Z")
NOT that I agree with any of the stereotypes above (speaking of which and also of hijacks, any y’all seen Friday Night Lights, the show? OMG, so many stereotypes. Yet I am constantly choking back a tear. Why oh why does the large black woman who carries the weight of the world on her shoulders but loves her running-back son so much even when she yells at him for giving her lip and ignoring her down-home wisdom and fried chicken, why oh why does she make a tear come to my eye every time she cheers her son on for getting a touchdown? Sometimes I hate myself) but I am familiar with most of them. And this is the only time I’ve heard of Russians as being kind and gentle. Usually the stereotype of them is all Boris and Natasha. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-racist-rant-of-the-day/553334.md?page=2)