# My rage burns with the fire of 1000 suns. And, you're going to jail. Bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 30, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577 "2003-05-30T17:25:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/1 "2003-05-30T17:25:32Z")
So, as I was going to the ATM at lunch to withdraw my weekend’s allowance in cash, I noticed that my account was about 1k short. I cocked my head at an angle and thought, “Hmm, that’s strange.” Since the bank was not a long ride, I decided to go see what was the deal-eo. “No problem!” said the nice lady at the bank, “Why don’t we take a look at the last few checks from your account?” “Very well” I say. “MMMmmm. . . ladeda, yes, that one is for the garbage service. Yesssss, there’s one for Papa John’s. . .” Then. Like a brick to the teeth. Like a white hot stake through the underarm. Like a 50 foot slide down a razor into a pool of rubbing alcohol. A check. To Virginia T. In the amount of: $475. [Background] When I moved into my first apartment, the crazy lady downstairs had a daughter. My age, not terribly attractive but friendly. We became friends and even had an occasional sexual encounter. Fast forward 2 years, and I buy a house. She happens to live 3 miles from my house (Entirely coincidence, I think) She would visit from time to time, and I would give the occasional drunken booty call. (There is scarce a time she turns me down). She offered to clean my house given the fact that I am a complete slob and she could use the money. For a little over a year, she’s been cleaning up, and doing a fine job, I must say (She has OCD). Last December I lost my job and I went many months without income. I told her to quit coming because I could not pay her. She said she didn’t mind, she didn’t want the house to fall into disarray before she started coming back. Now I’ve had real big money problems the past few months, and I’m just now started to catch back up. Last month I was 1.5k in the red when my check arrived. I chalked it up to bad finances and coming out of unemployment. [/Background] I ask the nice lady if we can see checks for the past few months. You fucking pig slut whore mother of bloody semen and devils. May the wrath of all the gods in heaven and on earth and in hell spew fire, brimstone and lightning into your vagina as to clean the future world of your offspring and to cause you considerable pain. This fucking bitch has stolen somewhere in the neighborhood of $1500 since the beginning of the year. She is so fucking stupid as not to be able to sign my name properly or to write the checks in odd cents so that they will not be noticable. She has until Monday morning to pay me $1000 or charges will be pressed. And this is a jailable offence. I have never been this pissed off in my life. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![anewthought](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@anewthought](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anewthought)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/2 "2003-05-30T17:27:43Z")
So, she’s cleaning your place for free and giving you free sex and you’re all bent out of shape over $1500? ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/3 "2003-05-30T17:30:46Z")
That sucks **BD** , and I hope it gets cleared up with a minimum of hassle. If it makes you feel any better, I went through a near identical fleecing to the tune of about $4k last summer, except I couldn’t do a damn thing about it because it was my (ex) husband writing the checks and his name was still on the accounts. At least you figured it out before any more damage was done, and can hopefully recoup your losses. How did you know for sure that it was her? Just because she’s in the house, or was she stupid enough to write them out to herself? ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/4 "2003-05-30T17:34:18Z")
**anewthought** –are you serious? Theft is theft, and a checking account is nothing to fuck with. Withdrawls the account holder aren’t aware of can wreak havoc on any balancing they attempt to do, cause overdraft fees to pile up, and ultimately have a very bad effect on their credit record. ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/5 "2003-05-30T17:45:28Z")
Fucking bitch. I’d throw her in jail to. Gotta ask though, if funds have been so tight for the past while, how did it take so long for you to catch on? I don’t watch my account like a hawk, but I’d notice $50. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/6 "2003-05-30T18:44:01Z")
anewthough, it’s OK to use your brain before you post. Really. In fact, we encourage it. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/7 "2003-05-30T19:41:14Z")
Update. I went back to the bank and the grand total over the past 10 months: $5949 I’m so pissed now my knees are weak and I can’t see straight. I’m on hold with the Loss Claims people at the bank, and I’m calling the sheriff’s office next. I’ll keep y’all posted. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/8 "2003-05-30T20:04:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bruce\_Daddy \* > \*\*Update. I went back to the bank and the grand total over the past 10 months: $5949 \*\* Bruce, how is it that it took you 10 months to notice a difference of nearly $6k? Particularly when you yourself say you went into the red – you would think that it would show up like like solar flair once it hit 3 figures or so. ---
**Author:** ![RickQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@RickQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickQ)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/9 "2003-05-30T20:14:24Z")
She stole nearly _6 grand_? You are totally doing the right thing working with the bank and calling the sherrif’s office. I hope you get it back. ---
**Author:** ![Bandanaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ab097/32.png) [@Bandanaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bandanaman)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/10 "2003-05-30T20:16:16Z")
Time for a Dirty Sanchez. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/11 "2003-05-30T20:22:14Z")
That’s a real bitch, but I’d have missed that money long before you did. I balance my checkbook every month. I’d notice $10. Also, I’d call the sheriff. She has committed a felony. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/12 "2003-05-30T20:23:17Z")
'Kay, what’s a Dirty Sanchez? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/13 "2003-05-30T20:24:33Z")
How’d she get access to your checking account, I’d like to know! That bites-I hope everything can be fixed. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/14 "2003-05-30T20:36:27Z")
A. some one stealing like that is totally not ok, not nice, bad, thing etc. B. how in the fuck did you not notice in 10 months, nearly 6 grand, when you’re saying ‘money is tight’. C. don’t you ever get a checking account statement and, oh, say casually look at it?? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/15 "2003-05-30T20:41:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bruce\_Daddy \* > \*\*Update. I went back to the bank and the grand total over the past 10 months: $5949 > > I’m so pissed now my knees are weak and I can’t see straight. > > I’m on hold with the Loss Claims people at the bank, and I’m calling the sheriff’s office next. > > I’ll keep y’all posted. \*\* OMG! That’s just… OH! I can’t think of anything bad enough to call her. Good luck. I know it doesn’t help much, but I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/16 "2003-05-30T20:43:19Z")
I don’t think this thread is the right place to define Dirty Sanchez, but if you’re really interested to find out… **Beware that this link contains a discription of a sex act that you might not want to see.** [Link](http://www.tomorrowideation.com/getoffended/Shirtpages/dirty.html) ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/17 "2003-05-30T20:50:08Z")
My brother did this to me, roughly 5k. Heart goes out to you and best of luck with it ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/18 "2003-05-30T21:23:25Z")
Heh. **UnwrittenNocturne** , because of the placement of your post, I thought for a minute you were saying your brother gave you a Dirty Sanchez. Hooboy, that’s wrong on a multitude of levels. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/19 "2003-05-30T21:49:51Z")
That really sucks, and she should go to jail. But like everyone else, I really don’t understand people who don’t watch their money more carefully, particulary if they’re unemployed. I balance my checkbook every month, and look at every single charge that comes through on my credit card statement. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577/20 "2003-05-30T21:52:09Z")
Holy Shit! Press every sort of charge you can. This is horrible. Although I too, wonder how you didn’t miss $6,000 - obviously you have more disposable income than I do… 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-rage-burns-with-the-fire-of-1000-suns-and-youre-going-to-jail-bitch/178577.md?page=2)