# My real, true confession -- By the poster known as Fenris **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 17, 2013, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711 "2013-07-17T01:06:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/41 "2013-07-17T12:01:04Z")
Madame Pepperwinkle’s family’s from Kentucky, Sheba. Y’ever get over to Bowling Green? ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/42 "2013-07-17T12:04:36Z")
I look forward to the day your UncleDaddy joins the board to tell us that you done passed on to the other world where your chair ain’t needed and you got angels wings to fly-uh, Miss Sheba Shayne. He’ll be a’cryin and gnashing his tooth and telling us all what a dee-light you were to your kin and strangers alike with your plucky heart and wheelie poppin’ motorchair. Now don’t think I’m a’haytin on you or nothin. I am just gonna rejoice that you’ll be free of your burdens of this here life and the limitations your skydiving accident done brought on your head, back, and neck. I’m glad that it only took you 13 years to bring this up on the board. Lawd mercy that we’ve been denied your truth for as long as we have, but at least you don’t have to pretend to be no republicorn no more. Praise be! ---
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/43 "2013-07-17T12:13:11Z")
[QUOT\*\*E=Onomatopoeia;16481724]In the wake of Jaymac’s banning earlier today, I know what the OP is going for, but the attempt is a little over the top, and rather than being funny, I find the black dialect caricature somewhat offensive, but hey, be my guest and carry on. [/QUOTE] I feel ya. I was all for funnin’ on the paraplegic, but Southern black woman parodies are distasteful :smack: I wish the mods hadn’t been quite so efficient with banning jaymac. I’ve sweet visions of him hanging around as the Dope’s resident troll mentor and guide. Some days, I just don’t want to be a 45-year-old mildly obese woman with bad teeth and a dead-end government job. I’m ready, nay, EAGER to learn how this internetwebby thingamagig works so I can invest loads of my time convincing anonymous strangers that I’m really a short, fat, balding Jewish man. Or maybe I can arm myself with internet cred and pose as Web MD’s version of House. I’m simply lacking the basic trolling equipment that would allow me to engage in flame wars about … y’know, diagnosing and treating stuff, without being immediately discovered and dismissed as a fraud. The world could be my oyster. EDIT BEFORE EDIT: Ok, moderately obese. Might as well own it, before someone posts my social security number and most recent passport photo. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/44 "2013-07-17T13:05:41Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > Where, I say WHERE, are her handlers? On the ends of her armlers. Don’t matter, tho, they worth nuthin, being a cripple and all. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/45 "2013-07-17T13:18:41Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Ban him!! :mad: Ban for the Ban God! ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/46 "2013-07-17T13:28:07Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I had a guinea pig named Sheba. She squeaked in southern dialect. When we were kids, my brother had a black hamster named Sheba. I’m convinced. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/47 "2013-07-17T13:31:20Z")
> [@Svejk\_1](#): > > In your estimation, what percentage of the posters here on this board would you say are cunts? No estimation needed, it has been determined to be 37%. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/48 "2013-07-17T13:33:24Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > I am confused now. Is this young lady in a wheelchair AND in Kentucky? So it seems. Hence the square wheels. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/49 "2013-07-17T15:13:09Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Ah have covered up my TRUE story because I feared I would be MOCKED and SHUNNED. You gave yourself away in your third sentence troll. A real southern person would have said, “I a-feared I would be”. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/50 "2013-07-17T15:14:20Z")
Finally, one of these threads that is believable. Sheba you are truly an inspiration to us all! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/51 "2013-07-17T15:30:54Z")
I had a cousin named Steve Majors from Kentucky. He had to have $6 million worth of surgery when a 400 pound black woman who was stalking him fell out of an airplane onto him. He sued and got a judgment against her, but all he ever collected was a small garnishment when she got a job as Jasmine Guy’s dialect coach on _A Different World_. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/52 "2013-07-17T15:38:41Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > So it seems. Hence the square wheels. She is in Kentucky not Canada Sheba Shayne stay strong **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/53 "2013-07-17T16:34:36Z")
I thank you all for ya’all’s good wishes, and for those jive-talkin’ honkeys who are unhip to my cool TRUE story, you all are mofo-mammajammas. Also, it’s spelled Kentuckie by those of us who live near Booneville. Only Yankees spell it with a “y” (“Y” is for “Yankee”, of course) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/54 "2013-07-17T16:41:30Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > She is in Kentucky not Canada > > Sheba Shayne stay strong > > **Capt** We don’t have square wheels ALL the time, you know. Just 10 months of the year. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/55 "2013-07-17T16:51:35Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > I thank you all for ya’all’s good wishes, and for those jive-talkin’ honkeys who are unhip to my cool TRUE story, you all are mofo-mammajammas. > > Also, it’s spelled Kentuckie by those of us who live near Booneville. Only Yankees spell it with a “y” (“Y” is for “Yankee”, of course) Booneville? I thought yo was talkin’ 'bout Boogerville and I was gonna say we should get a cuppa coffee, sugar. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/56 "2013-07-17T17:06:34Z")
Gives coon skin cap a whole new meaning. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711/57 "2013-07-17T17:19:50Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > We don’t have square wheels ALL the time, you know. Just 10 months of the year. 😃 **Capt** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-real-true-confession-by-the-poster-known-as-fenris/663711.md?page=2)