# My religious mom sent me a Christian "spell" to use against the swine flu **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2009, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111 "2009-10-17T01:54:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/1 "2009-10-17T01:54:37Z")
Looks like I can save a few bucks on a flu shot. This was one of those many-times-forwarded things, and I found what might be the source on this page: > **[CHPP Daily Brief - October 14, 2009](http://chpponline.blogspot.com/2009/10/chpp-daily-brief-october-14-2009.html)** > > In This Issue The Daily Brief The Middle East in Focus URGENT UPDATE: Goldstone Report Decree against the flu The Good News Corner Greetings... > [@](#): > > Intercessors, > > Last week, Chuck \*\*\*\*\* wrote Joe \*\*\*\*\* and asked him to write a decree against this Flu. When he read what he decreed, he said, "I could not but agree with the words. > > Stop and decree these words into your atmosphere." > > ``` > Father in Jesus' name I come against flu, I forbid you to advance an further. I bind you and cast you out now in the name of Jesus. I take authority over the very atmosphere that we breath and I decree and declare that every sickness or disease that is being transmitted through the atmosphere is cursed and commanded to die now in Jesus' name. I reverse the curse of sickness from flu, whether it is swine or any other strain of flu, and command it to fall to the ground and have no effect upon me, my family, our church staff, our church body corporately, or the church body at large. Father in Jesus' name no prophetic act or word curse released through the spirit of divination, witchcraft, or the spirit of the occult has any right to us and I cancel and reverse all of these curses. I draw a blood line around us, the blood of Jesus, and those connected with us and I decree and declare that no weapon formed against us will prosper, no plague shall come near our dwelling and our > > ``` > > bodies will now come into alignment with the Word of God, “by His stripes we are healed”. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/2 "2009-10-17T02:02:04Z")
Funny how it says stuff about no occult forces or witchcraft touching anybody, but by any definitions I know of either of those, this qualifies. “Spell” indeed. Pretty much the only thing left out, depending on your school of magic, would be something like calling the quarters. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/3 "2009-10-17T02:11:42Z")
Ran out of time to edit: “pretty much the only thing_s_ left out…calling the quarters and closing the circle. And some candles.” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/4 "2009-10-17T02:33:49Z")
So mote it be; forever and ever, amen. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/5 "2009-10-17T03:09:46Z")
So the swine flu is caused by witchcraft and the occult? Man! Ya learn something new every day. (/sarcasm) :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/6 "2009-10-17T03:12:55Z")
> [@Juliana](#): > > So the swine flu is caused by witchcraft and the occult? Man! Ya learn something new every day. (/sarcasm) :rolleyes: Well, obviously all those pig sacrifices had to lead to SOMETHING. Next year: Goat Flu. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/7 "2009-10-17T03:24:33Z")
Oh, let me try! Father in Jesus’ name I come against poverty, I forbid you to advance an further. I bind you and cast you out now in the name of Jesus. I take authority over the very money that we spend and I decree and declare that every poorness or poverty that is being transmitted through the pocketbook is cursed and commanded to die now in Jesus’ name. I reverse the curse of poverty from having no money, whether it is mine or any other kind of poverty, and command it to fall to the ground and have no effect upon me, my family, our retail staff, our Starbucks register, or the shopping body at large. Father in Jesus’ name no prophetic act or word curse released through the spirit of divination, witchcraft, or the spirit of the occult has any right to us and I cancel and reverse all of these curses. I draw a blood line around us, the blood of Jesus, and those connected with us and I decree and declare that no lack of money formed against us will prosper, no poverty shall come near our dwelling and our bodies will now come into alignment with the Word of God, “by His stripes we are rich”. Now, I wait. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/8 "2009-10-17T04:29:49Z")
Father in Jesus’ name I come against spam, I forbid you to advance an further. I bind you and cast you out now in the name of Jesus. I take authority over the very email that we receive and I decree and declare that every glurge or offer that is being transmitted through the internet is cursed and commanded to die now in Jesus’ name. I reverse the curse of spam from all sources, whether it is swindlers or any other strain of spammers, and command it to fall to the ground and have no effect upon me, my family, our computers, our networks, or the internet at large. Father in Jesus’ name no prophetic act or word curse released through the spirit of divination, witchcraft, or the spirit of the occult has any right to us and I cancel and reverse all of these curses. I draw a blood line around us, the blood of Jesus, and those connected with us and I decree and declare that no spam sent unto us will prosper, no plague shall come near our dwelling and our bodies will now come into alignment with the Word of God, “by His stripes we are spared”. Maybe that will also prevent her from sending you anything similar in the future, too. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/9 "2009-10-17T06:18:49Z")
I have a spell that protects me from the bubonic plague. Oh, and also tigers. It works! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/10 "2009-10-17T12:13:06Z")
I am so going to create a spell to replenish my bank account. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/11 "2009-10-17T13:00:42Z")
Theurgy. No suprise. Heard of it before. > **[Theurgy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theurgy)** > > Theurgy (/ˈθiːɜːrdʒi/; from Greek θεουργία theourgía), also known as divine magic, is one of two major branches of the magical arts, the other being practical magic or thaumaturgy. Theurgy describes the ritual practices associated with the invocation or evocation of the presence of one or more deities (also called "godforms"), especially with the goal of achieving henosis (uniting with the divine) and perfecting oneself. > Theurgy means "divine working". The first recorded use of the term is foun... ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/12 "2009-10-17T14:39:51Z")
> [@Electronic\_Chaos](#): > > Well, obviously all those pig sacrifices had to lead to SOMETHING. > > Next year: Goat Flu. Goat flu? I think you have it all wrong. Next year… Female Virgin Flu. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/13 "2009-10-17T14:41:36Z")
Serious question: is there really any difference between a “spell” and an imprecatory or petitionary prayer? It seems to me that they all aim to accomplish the same thing, and “spell” is simply the name that one gives to the theurgy (thanks, **Bosda**!) of a religion other than one’s own. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/14 "2009-10-17T14:46:25Z")
I was gonna lay a curse on women who won’t screw me, but there are two problems. First, that’s ALL women, so a curse would seem overly broad. Second, the very fist line would be kind of weird, “Father in Jesus’ name I come against come against women who won’t screw me…” If only I could do that… ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/15 "2009-10-17T16:41:50Z")
Exodus 22:18, man. Exodus 22:18. Sorry, **Revtim**. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/16 "2009-10-17T19:06:36Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > I am so going to create a spell to replenish my bank account. I want one that will keep my car from developing cracks, leaks, or other unpleasant and expensive surprises. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/17 "2009-10-17T19:13:13Z")
> [@Dragwyr](#): > > Goat flu? I think you have it all wrong. > > Next year… Female Virgin Flu. Yeah, right. 'Round my parts, a virgin is an ugly 3rd grader that can outrun her brothers. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/18 "2009-10-17T20:03:24Z")
So be it! _Rings bell_ _Closes Bible_ _Quenches candle_ Er… oops… wrong ceremony. Sorry guys, I think that may have ruined it. > [@VunderBob](#): > > Yeah, right. 'Round my parts, a virgin is an ugly 3rd grader that can outrun her brothers. Excellent location field/post combo. ---
**Author:** ![wierdaaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/19 "2009-10-17T20:42:24Z")
Ah, prayer, the only way you can feel good about yourself for having done something when you haven’t done anything at all. “I lost my job, my house burned down, and my dog has rabies.” “I’ll pray for you.” “Oh… well, could you maybe do something _useful_ as well?” Why doesn’t whoever came up with the anti-flu prayer come up with an anti-death and anti-satan prayer and fix the entirety of existence? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111/20 "2009-10-17T20:52:15Z")
For what it’s worth, I fully support working this in to mainstream churches. I also support bringing back the aforementioned Bell, Book, and Candle as well as renewing interest in alchemy and conducting frequent ritual animal sacrifices. The world would be SO much more interesting. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-religious-mom-sent-me-a-christian-spell-to-use-against-the-swine-flu/514111.md?page=2)