# My sacrilegious husband **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 26, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228 "2005-12-26T05:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/1 "2005-12-26T05:25:48Z")
We were settling down to Christmas dinner tonight. For some reason, my MiL got a late start on her Nativity scene. So Jesus was kicking it at the end of the dinner table; He was my left hand man. One of the nephews got a King Kong action figure. The Highwayman posed baby Jesus in the crook of his arm. It was an uncannily perfect fit. On the one hand, I didn’t want to laugh about it in front of my very religious mother-in-law (who promptly threw a fit about it, but laughed in spite of herself). On the other, I’d been drinking all night and it was just the sort of irreverant thing I enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/2 "2005-12-26T05:44:34Z")
That’s pretty classy. Not as cool as the joint stuck in the hand of the statue of Jesus at my Catholic High School, but pretty good. Yes, the staff had a burnt offering over that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/3 "2005-12-26T05:50:40Z")
You didn’t ask, but I’ll post my Xmas 2005 funny too. My young brother’s son still believes in Santa, so some people gave him gifts marked ‘from Santa’. One of them was a little plastic container full of a yellow, lemon-scented, gelatinous substance called ‘FART SLUDGE’. The idea is that when you pull it out of or stuff it back into its’ container it makes an age-appropriate noise. The nephew got a big kick out of it. Later when my sister was getting ready to go home someone commented on a bag of candies that fell out of her purse. She informed us that Santa had put it in her stocking. I told my nephew in a childishly taunting tone of voice “Santa gave Aunt Gena candy and he gave you _fa-arts_!” He was, literally, ROFL and (mostly because of his reaction) the rest of us were still giggling about it here and there for hours. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/4 "2005-12-26T05:54:02Z")
carnivorous plant: what is it with you Catholics? I feel like I missed out on a lot of hijinks with my Protestant upbringing. Rich Mann: Bwahahahaha! I’m still giggling over Jesus with Kong. I’ll try to take a picture later. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/5 "2005-12-26T06:26:49Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > carnivorous plant: what is it with you Catholics? I’m a Jew, Dude. Don’t ask. ;j > [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > Rich Mann: Bwahahahaha! [If I were a rich man!](http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/fiddlerontheroof/ifiwerearichman.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/6 "2005-12-26T07:18:30Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I’m a Jew, Dude. Don’t ask. ;j I’m a dudette, but I should know better than to ask. And I had to do it clandestinely, but here is [Jesus, King of the Kongs](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v204/varishna/P1010009.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/7 "2005-12-26T07:37:06Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > And I had to do it clandestinely, but here is [Jesus, King of the Kongs](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v204/varishna/P1010009.jpg). Bwah! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/8 "2005-12-26T09:29:01Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > And I had to do it clandestinely, but here is [Jesus, King of the Kongs](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v204/varishna/P1010009.jpg). Wonderful! If only you could get a Naomi Watts or Fay Wray figurine to play Mary. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/9 "2005-12-26T09:35:19Z")
Coolest nativity scene ever! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/10 "2005-12-26T09:35:56Z")
“It wasn’t the airplanes. It was beauty killed the Christ.” ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/11 "2005-12-26T09:49:00Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > I’m a dudette, but I should know better than to ask. > > And I had to do it clandestinely, but here is [Jesus, King of the Kongs](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v204/varishna/P1010009.jpg). Looks like Kong is gonna sacrifice the Baby Jesus by throwing him into the candle! ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/12 "2005-12-26T12:04:07Z")
No way. The arm coming back, the fist balled, the angry look. Kong’s gonna beat Jesus down. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/13 "2005-12-26T14:03:31Z")
I can picture Kong climbing to the top of the cross to rescue Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/14 "2005-12-26T14:11:42Z")
TRADITION!!! Jesus has got to be in Kong’s arms EVERY year, from here on out. It adds a lil something to the banality that is the Creche, no? Or maybe put Kong with Jesus ON that camel! Any room for GI Joe or even Barbie? I can smell the money–what a marketing idea! Thanks for the laugh-much needed today. ---
**Author:** ![CateAyo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@CateAyo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CateAyo)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/15 "2005-12-26T14:22:06Z")
It seems that the only usual participant that senses anything unusual is the camel. Everyone(thing) else, other than the sheep who appears to be stoned (see previous spliff reference) continues to stare at the manger. Aptly metaphorical. In any event, happy holidays to everyone. Hawk ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/16 "2005-12-26T19:26:54Z")
Kong makes the Baby Jesus cry. ---
**Author:** ![Cranky\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cranky\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cranky_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/17 "2005-12-26T19:36:28Z")
I loved this! I also second the tradition idea-Kong must be a part of your Christmas every year! ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/18 "2005-12-26T19:37:15Z")
Kong makes the Baby Jesus cry. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/19 "2005-12-26T19:40:35Z")
Stupid hamsters. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/20 "2005-12-26T21:04:09Z")
> [@CateAyo](#): > > It seems that the only usual participant that senses anything unusual is the camel. Everyone(thing) else, other than the sheep who appears to be stoned (see previous spliff reference) continues to stare at the manger. Aptly metaphorical. > > In any event, happy holidays to everyone. > Hawk The black wise man (who looks remarkably like Deacon Palmer on King of Queens) definitely has a “What the Hell?” expression on his face. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228.md?page=2)