# My sacrilegious husband **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 26, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228 "2005-12-26T05:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/21 "2005-12-26T21:35:36Z")
My mother has a knitted nativity. It acquires several new scenarios each year. My favourite so far involved a knife-weilding Wise Man, and a sheep on a spit. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/22 "2005-12-27T00:24:48Z")
This is officially the best nativity scene ever. It even beats out the nativity scenes that are made completely of moose or bear figurines. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/23 "2005-12-27T00:57:06Z")
It already is a semi-tradition of my husband’s to sneak something into the Nativity and see how long it takes his mom to notice. Usually the ox got replaced with a doberman figurine in the same position and roughly the same size. A giant Dobie watching Jesus. Woof. But yeah, I can see already that we’re going to try to top this every year… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/24 "2005-12-27T04:31:13Z")
That is now my wallpaper. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/25 "2005-12-27T05:16:10Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > I’m a dudette, but I should know better than to ask. > > And I had to do it clandestinely, but here is [Jesus, King of the Kongs](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v204/varishna/P1010009.jpg). Tarzan the ApeChrist. Pardon me, is this the nonstop handbasket to Hell? ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/26 "2005-12-27T05:24:46Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > Pardon me, is this the nonstop handbasket to Hell? It’s the Woven Hell Express, and I’m the Conductor. Ticket, please. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/27 "2005-12-27T08:22:25Z")
I am not kidding, I actually read this poem in the December 1976 issue of _Fantasy and Science Fiction_. “The 14 Gifts” by Vance Aandahl. It was a poem about the Nativity Scene in the Christ Child gets bored with the Magi and their gifts. Then Bigfoot visits the manger and the baby asks to go to Bigfoot and has fun joking with him. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/28 "2005-12-27T09:14:51Z")
> [@CateAyo](#): > > the sheep who appears to be stoned (see previous spliff reference) continues to stare at the manger. Maybe he’s been smoking frankincense. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/29 "2005-12-27T10:29:46Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Maybe he’s been smoking frankincense. Out of a gold hookah. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/30 "2005-12-27T10:41:00Z")
You should have seen what the cow was doing to the sheep in our Nativity figures this year… ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/31 "2005-12-27T20:09:12Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > You should have seen what the cow was doing to the sheep in our Nativity figures this year… Pulling a Hal Briston? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/32 "2005-12-27T21:41:07Z")
The Shepherd Lad seems to be _very_ fond of his lamb… ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/33 "2005-12-27T22:59:23Z")
Heh! Now we know who’s been [stealing](http://www.10news.com/news/5675416/detail.html) all the baby Jesus figurines…Kong! ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/34 "2005-12-27T23:10:47Z")
> [@Encinitas](#): > > Heh! Now we know who’s been [stealing](http://www.10news.com/news/5675416/detail.html) all the baby Jesus figurines…Kong! I’m afraid now that if I find out where Kong sleeps, I’ll find a cache of little baby Jesuses. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/35 "2005-12-27T23:41:33Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > I’m afraid now that if I find out where Kong sleeps, I’ll find a cache of little baby Jesuses. Why do you want to know where Kong sleeps? ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2005, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/36 "2005-12-27T23:51:48Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Why do you want to know where Kong sleeps? To rescue Jesus? Maybe I’ll get a nice reward or something. And He better not try to foist that Everlasting Life canard on me. I want cash, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/37 "2005-12-28T01:39:54Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > I want cash, dammit. I hear they’re pretty well fixed. But does Kong stash 'em, or does he wave them around and throw them off high buildings? I had no idea that Great Apes were so religious. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/38 "2005-12-28T02:01:14Z")
If you put a puppy in the manger, then Mary gets to be **Dog Ma !** ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/39 "2005-12-28T02:07:15Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > To rescue Jesus? Can’t he just ascend or something? You’d think being the Son of God would be worth at least a “Get Out of Jail Free” card or something. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228/40 "2005-12-28T03:01:17Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > My mother has a knitted nativity. It acquires several new scenarios each year. My favourite so far involved a knife-weilding Wise Man, and a sheep on a spit. OK. _This_ I want to see a picture of. It sounds cool beyond words. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sacrilegious-husband/337228.md?page=3)