# My seven year old explains the facts of life to me **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 20, 2011, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398 "2011-03-20T21:58:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/21 "2011-03-21T16:01:56Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > I’m assuming he’s joking and that by this age he at least understands rudimentary anatomy? What, there’s more to it than what he is quoted as having explained at post #1? No wonder I don’t have kids. ---
**Author:** ![kbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kbear)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/22 "2011-03-21T18:16:27Z")
I feel like I’ve failed some sort of Canadian citizenship test. Born and raised on the East Coast and never heard of gitch and gotch ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/23 "2011-03-21T18:34:31Z")
Since Kindergarten in southern Ontario, one of my classmates was nicknamed “Gotch.” It wasn’t until late highschool that I learned what it meant. He was pissed off about it. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/24 "2011-03-21T18:40:47Z")
I’ve only heard gitch and gonch, never the versions with the middle consonant swapped. (It’s why hate it when people pronounce conch as ‘konch’ - it’s a shell, not underwear!) ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/25 "2011-03-21T18:45:22Z")
This Canadian hates Hates HATES the word gonch and all its cousins. It just sets my teeth on edge whenever I hear it.:mad: ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/26 "2011-03-22T00:14:40Z")
> [@kbear](#): > > I feel like I’ve failed some sort of Canadian citizenship test. Born and raised on the East Coast and never heard of gitch and gotch ☹ Same here, though I can blame it on being from Québec! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/27 "2011-03-22T00:23:56Z")
Le gitch? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/28 "2011-03-22T01:34:09Z")
Everything kids (or adults) need to know is in the Hokey-Pokey ditty. \*You put your left foot in, Your put your left foot out, You put your left foot in, And you shake it all about. You do the Hokey-Pokey, And you turn yourself around. That’s what sex is all about!\* ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/29 "2011-03-22T01:42:12Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Everything kids (or adults) need to know is in the Hokey-Pokey ditty. > > \*You put your left foot in, > Your put your left foot out, > You put your left foot in, > And you shake it all about. > > You do the Hokey-Pokey, > And you turn yourself around. > That’s what sex is all about!\* You’re doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/30 "2011-03-22T01:50:53Z")
Well I am giggling at the idea of Muffin telling family court that the marriage broke down because the corespondant in a divorce was doing the Hokey Pokey. \* ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/31 "2011-03-22T01:53:43Z")
- And…? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/32 "2011-03-22T02:43:05Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > “Deer Momy. NOTHANKYOU for this book. I do not want to read it. No thankyou. Not rite now i do not want to read this book. Thankyou Mommy for this book. No thank you for reading it rite now, maybee latter. When I am old or a tenageer.” Haha, this was hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/33 "2011-03-22T09:24:20Z")
so gitches are for bitches? ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/34 "2011-03-22T09:35:10Z")
removed ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/35 "2011-03-22T12:04:35Z")
I just asked my 7yo what the difference is between girls and boys, and she got a half mischievous, half embarrassed look, and pointed to her crotch. I guess I’m pretty much doing my job! ---
**Author:** ![manx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@manx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manx)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/36 "2011-03-22T12:47:04Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > Oh and for the Brits on the board, “bum” means buttocks, not anything else. “Fanny” on the other hand has a different meaning across the pond. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2011, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398/37 "2011-03-22T13:11:20Z")
Ok, sorry that is what confuses me. Or I forgot. One or the other. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-seven-year-old-explains-the-facts-of-life-to-me/575398.md?page=1)